fandomhigh | Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Tuesday

Today in class, the Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles students would be happy to find a projector set up in the front of the room and a DVD set to its home screen. Unfortunately, upon second glance, that DVD on its home screen was a 40-minute long FBI recruitment video. And on each of the desks was a brochure with the FBI logo on top that contained much the same message.

As if that wasn't bad enough, a fairly miserable-looking Neal was holding notes that had just been faxed to him from Peter, containing a script for today's class.

Peter... may have just found out what Neal was teaching here, exactly.

"Hey," he said to the class once everyone had arrived, looking decidedly unenthusiastic about today. Holding up his notes so as to make it perfectly clear he was reading from a script, he recited dully, "Of course, no training in tricks and cons would be complete without an understanding of how you can use those skills to assist with national security." He rolled his eyes. "Really, Peter?"

Monotonously, he continued, "Having been taught how to lie and deceive people over the past six weeks, now you should turn your attention to one of this nation's finest career opportunities that will allow you to put those skills to use while helping your country. Please know that the FBI is an exciting, morally upstanding career choice."

That part made Neal feel a little sick.

Putting down his notes, he clapped his hands and said, "Okay. Movie time. And then a little presentation from Kenzi that has nothing to do with... this."

That last word was uttered with more than a little bit of contempt. He really hated Peter sometimes.

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And now she added a little speech bubble to it, reading, "My name's Nathan, and I'm an ungrateful jackass! Also, Ramona is the prettiest."

If you're going to slander me, I'm not going to continue this conversation.

Nathan tried to make his handwriting look haughty but whatever, that was hard.

And now Ramona drew another figure with short, wavy hair next to the other one, and even searched through her bag for a blue pen to color her hair.

Her speech bubble said, "I like you even if you are a jackass!" because apparently today she was being cute.

And below that, she added, It's libel when it's written down, not slander. Fun fact.

Nathan couldn't bring himself to vandalize the cartoon she'd drawn because it was kind of cute. He smiled at it instead and drew stink lines coming from Ramona just for fun.

Fuck your fun facts. That's the only thing you'll be fucking so have fun with that.

That's what she got for lecturing him!

And now the cartoon Ramona had a sad face.

But everyone loses that way!

Nathan rolled his eyes and shook his head. I never lose. You're just trying to project your problems onto me because you miss my touch so fucking much. You should get in touch with your self pleasuring urges, Ramona.

I'm plenty in touch with those, thank you.

She paused, and added: Feel free to think about that when you're getting in touch with your own.

Nah.

And that note was accompanied by a smirk and a toss of his hair.

Ramona stifled a snort, then drew some rather detailed fire on the cartoon Nathan's pants.

She drew an arrow pointing to it, writing: Due to all the lying, you see.

Your attempts at trying to slander me are really very sad.

Yes, she'd corrected him earlier and he didn't care.

These pitiful attempts at insulting me to make yourself feel better are really very hurtful inside. I might have to look at some porn to feel better later.

Whatever gets you through the day, baby.

She did a little erasing and scribbling, and when she threw the paper back at him, cartoon-her was holding cartoon-him's hand. And she'd made her smile again.

Awww.

You're acting a little mental today.

Hey, at least he hadn't asked about the term of endearment again!

Bored. she corrected. The word you're looking for is 'bored.' You're acting a little grumpy, today, anyway, and it's fun to poke at you when you're bitchy.

I'm not grumpy. I think you're obsessed with me being grumpy for some reason. Does the whole angry exterior and possibilities of angry fucking turn you on?

He...could agree with that as long as no one smacked him or anything.

Doesn't matter. You've made that one clear, seeing as how I'm ugly, et cetera et cetera.

Even if that was a yes.

Well, you are ugly. But, maybe your ugly's not so bad. You're the one taking offense.

He could turn semantics around on her.

Because you said I'm ugly, you fucking liar. Besides, if anyone here is ugly, it's you. You're funny-looking.

Maturity at its finest.

I am beautiful. Eat me.

Yeah, that's right, he went there.

Not if you keep calling me ugly.

This time, Nathan drew a picture of his head (and made it HUGE) and drew himself sticking his tongue out at her because he was extremely mature.

Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Tuesday | Period 4

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