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Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Tuesday | Period 4

Neal was thrilled he wasn’t a pony anymore. Seriously. So thrilled. He didn’t know if he could manage walking into a class and trying to teach while he had hooves and a tail. Fortunately, he didn’t have to.

When the students filed into the classroom, they would find the desks set up in rows of two, the chairs facing each other. On every desk was a small compact mirror. Don’t ask Neal where he got the mirrors. On the board in the front of the room was written in big blue letters:

“So,” he said once everyone was seated. “Last week we did fake introductions and practiced lying. This week we’re going to talk about the mechanics of it. More specifically, we’re going to talk about tells.”

“A tell,” he continued, “is something that gives you away when you’re lying. There are some that are pretty common, like blinking or stuttering. Some, you’ll only ever find on one person and hope you never, ever see it again.” He grinned. “Funny story, I once knew a guy named Billy who got really, really itchy when he lied.” A downward glance revealed just where, in fact, Billy had itched. Of course, that would be inappropriate to discuss in class, so he just implied it and left it at that.

“Today, I want you all to pair off in groups of two and start talking. You guys heard of the game Two Truths and a Lie? That’s basically what I’m talking about. Your partner’s job is to try to identify the lie by picking up on any tells that you might have. Then, once you learn what your tells are, I want you to watch yourselves in the mirrors I put on your desks and try to spot them.”

He hopped up onto the desk at the front of the room. “Ready? Pair off and get going. If you have any questions, you can come find me or Kenzi, the new TA.” He gestured to point her out. “Say hello, Kenzi."

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Neal snorted. "No, it wasn't my bank," he corrected her. "Ever heard of Enron?"

Totally not his bank. He would've done a way better job at hiding the debt.

"Oh, those f--suckers," Kenzi said. Ancient history! "You know, I'm all for redistribution of wealth, but those guys were just mean. I don't root for the Feds mostly but I'm glad someone took 'em down." Rob from the middle-class and poor and keep it? Assholes.

Huh.

"Interesting perspective," Neal said thoughtfully. "So -- you've got a code of ethics."

That was news to him.

"Just good sense. Don't get too greedy. Or mean. What goes around, comes around, you know?" And okay, maybe she had some sneaking sympathy for people in the same boat; and had to depend on other people's good will enough not to exploit it in those who didn't have jack to spare. "Ethics, schmethics. You can look out for number one without screwing over people who don't deserve it."

Neal privately agreed with her, at least to an extent, though he wasn't going to say as much.

"Interesting," was his only response, nodding with a faint smile on his face. "So you don't, say, pick pockets or anything, then."

...Just a hunch.

Kenzi's eyes grew wide in exaggerated innocence. "Me? Whyever would you say that?"

Somewhere, Wes was facepalming. Probably.

Facepalming in the midst of Trying Not To Die, yup. He was a multi-tasker, that Wes.

"Kenzi," he said flatly. "I'm a professional."

"I am not admitting to being a collector of fine wallets," Kenzi said, holding up her hands in a shrug. "... 'cause some people even get them back."

As he'd suspected. Neal sat back in his seat, satisfied.

"So how's that fit into the not-screwing-people-over thing?"

"Some of them get them back," Kenzi reminded him. "And dude, credit cards have protection. They don't make you pay more than fifty bucks dollars worth of phony charges, and they don't go looking for the perp, either, if it's less than two thou. It's inconvenient, but an object lesson in being careful." She shrugged. "If I got my wallet picked, I'd feel stupid but I'd know it was 'cause I wasn't careful."

Which was why she didn't carry one, duh. And most people didn't have the imagination to know to rob someone's ankle stash.

"Having a wallet in your pocket's not careful?" he asked her curiously. Actually, no, it wasn't -- which was why he kept a money fold in an inside shirt pocket. Sure, he had a stocked wallet in his pocket like everyone else, but he kept all his real cash and cards hidden from obvious view.

Snort. "Not in a big city. Not in a crowd." She grinned, perching on a desk, kicking her heels. "Hey, I'm taking a risk too." Her expression soured a little. "Which is kinda how I got here, but not the wallets."

"Oh, yeah?"

Huh. He could ask in the administrative office if he was really curious, but...

"Inclined to elaborate?"

Kenzi propped her feet up on the desk, and poked at her boots. "Some security guard must've been angling for a promotion. Somehow -- I don't know how!" She was still annoyed about that. "I got connected to some chick who walked out of shoe stores wearing high-priced stuff. They slap you with six counts, it really doesn't matter how good your alibis might be, they've got you."

"Six counts?" Neal whistled. Clearly he hadn't given her enough credit. "Damn. And all you got stuck with was a trip to boarding school?"

"I know!" Sometimes that still made her blink. "Some weird charity thought I needed a 'new start' away from 'bad influences', so my P.D. said it was this or Juvie. I was pissed, but, pretty easy choice." Kenzi grinned. "And it's already turned out way amazing!"

If he was ever tried again, Neal definitely wanted his trial to be in front of whatever judge had given Kenzi those options. Shit. Boarding school instead of jail? What kind of options were those?

"Lucky you," he said, grinning. "Isn't there a book where a kid gets that option, except he winds up at boot camp? Seems like you got off easy."

"Probably." Not that Kenzi read those books. Besides, you could always wait for the movie. "And yeah, well, people keep warning me about shit on this island, like gremlins and turning into crap, but c'mon! How bad was it being a pony?"

Not bad at all! Except for the lack of burgers.

Neal totally wasn't falling for that. "I wouldn't know," he said smoothly. "Since I didn't have any experience being a pony."

Take that, Kenzi.

No tells! But Kenzi was so going to research and ask around and find out if a certain teacher had had four feet over the weekend.

"It was fun, since you 'don't know,'" Kenzi told him, snorting. "Littttle bit awkward, but otherwise, cool. I would've so gotten that sonic rainboom if I'd stayed a pony one more day." Pinkie probably would've disagreed.

Okay, he had to ask.

"...Sonic... rainboom?"

Neal had yet to meet Pinkie Pie. Fortunately.

"Some kind of pony magic thing, where the sky explodes with light and you break the sound barrier. If Pinkie wasn't messing with me, and I don't think she's really capable of it," Kenzi amended. "Kept saying I wasn't flying fast enough, though."

It was funny. Juuust when he was starting to think one thing about Kenzi, she turned into a unicorn and tried to fly fast enough to break the sound barrier.

"Sorry?" Neal tried, amused. "Whoever she was, did you ever think she was probably messing with you?"

"Dude, you have not met her. She teaches the party class and carries confetti with her to throw in the air when she's randomly happy. If she was messing with me, she's, like, genius-class messing." Kenzi cocked her head. Then grinned. "I could introduce you?"

Ahahaha, oh, she'd love to see that.

Uh... no, he was going to pass on that. Thanks, Kenzi.

"Mm, that's all right," Neal said, arching one eyebrow. "Maybe I'll stop by her class, though."

Last time, Kenzi had brought him cake. Maybe there would be cake again.

Re: Talk to Neal!

regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com - 2011-07-12 19:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Talk to Neal!

charming_thief - 2011-07-12 19:58 (UTC) - Expand

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