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fandomhigh2011-07-06 12:30 am
shotbillmurray.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-07-06 12:30 am
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Wednesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 2
When the students entered the Danger shop today they would find themselves standing outside a gas station. For those who took the class before they might be a bit surprised to see that there were no zombies standing around looking for a snack.
Columbus gave everyone a small smile and a wave as they entered. "Hey. For those of you returning, welcome back. For those of you who are new to this class, we are here to learn how to survive a zombie apocalypse."
"The most important rule to surviving a zombie apocalypse?"
Columbus pushed a button and huge block letters appeared behind him.
"Cardio. That’s the first rule of surviving Zombieland. When the outbreak first hit, the first to go were the people who were out of shape. For obvious reasons. Those of you returning to class will know that you will be running at least three times a week as part of your homework. That goes the same for you newbies as well."
Columbus then gave the class a sheepish grin. "However we won't be focusing on that topic today. Today's topic is a bit more... personal."
There was another fumbling of the remote and again another set of block letters appeared behind Columbus.
"Despite their lack of brain capacity and ability to speak, you should never take a zombie for granted. They can be clever and use that against you. Especially when you are at your most vulnerable."
With that Columbus nodded at the restrooms behind them. "Your assignment today? Don't get caught with your pants down. Obviously I don't expect you to actually... um. Use the facilities. Your goal today is merely to safely navigate yourself to a stall. Wait one minute, flush and then leave without harm. Bonus points to those who wash their hands. Any questions? All rigt,let's go."
[OCD is Up! Please mod your own zombie encounter this week.
Warning: This post contains zombies, possible violence and bathroom humor.]
Columbus gave everyone a small smile and a wave as they entered. "Hey. For those of you returning, welcome back. For those of you who are new to this class, we are here to learn how to survive a zombie apocalypse."
"The most important rule to surviving a zombie apocalypse?"
Columbus pushed a button and huge block letters appeared behind him.
"Cardio. That’s the first rule of surviving Zombieland. When the outbreak first hit, the first to go were the people who were out of shape. For obvious reasons. Those of you returning to class will know that you will be running at least three times a week as part of your homework. That goes the same for you newbies as well."
Columbus then gave the class a sheepish grin. "However we won't be focusing on that topic today. Today's topic is a bit more... personal."
There was another fumbling of the remote and again another set of block letters appeared behind Columbus.
"Despite their lack of brain capacity and ability to speak, you should never take a zombie for granted. They can be clever and use that against you. Especially when you are at your most vulnerable."
With that Columbus nodded at the restrooms behind them. "Your assignment today? Don't get caught with your pants down. Obviously I don't expect you to actually... um. Use the facilities. Your goal today is merely to safely navigate yourself to a stall. Wait one minute, flush and then leave without harm. Bonus points to those who wash their hands. Any questions? All rigt,let's go."
[OCD is Up! Please mod your own zombie encounter this week.
Warning: This post contains zombies, possible violence and bathroom humor.]
Re: Go to the bathroom!
He slipped into a stall quietly and crouched on top of the toilet seat, holding the tire iron. When everything seemed quiet, he reached back and flushed which he knew was noise enough to draw attention.
Sure enough, Sam heard something trudging into the bathroom and waited until the feet of the zombie was right in front of his stall before he kicked the door open and knocked the zombie back allowing him time to get out of there. He didn't wash his hands.