Childcare for Idiots, Thursday

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Today we're gonna talk about a very important part of being a parent. Whether its via normal means like havin' a kid, or adopting, or ending up taking care of the messiah after an editorial decision kills off their entire town to make it more edgy... or the always nice 'I woke up with spawn and am pondering surgery to insure this never actually happens'," Deadpool said cheerfully. "Finding yourself a babysitter before you go insane."

Er. Insane-er.

"Now, with Jan here, this process involves Nate being all creepy big brother and possibly bugging people before trusting them with her."

A beat.

"Though his mom did watch her a lot. But that's only because she has those kooky godlike psycho-kinetic powers and a hunger for stars."

Thank you for that, Deadpool. Thank you.

"So I wanna see you brats break off into groups of two a decide what you need in a babysitter. Make sure to take into consideration your spawn's potential magic, mutations, and/or alien abilities. Because not even Mary freakin' Poppins wants to deal with that crap with no warning beforehand."

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[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Like a babysitter.

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[glacial_queen]

Karla

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[hurtingzeebo]

Sam Puckett

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[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Seifer Almasy

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[child-of-rer.livejournal.com]

Sov Thade Tage em Ereb

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[knowsnokungfu.livejournal.com]

Chuck Bartowski

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[answer2bheard.livejournal.com]

Jim Hawkins

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[stars_and_money]

Jeremy Darling

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[need-no-moon.livejournal.com]

Jacob Black

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[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla Blythe

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[iwishiwasbig.livejournal.com]

Dave Nelson

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[selfhelphero]

Billy Kaplan

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[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Princess Ariel

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[exactlyaverage.livejournal.com]

Jack Carter

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[annieadderall.livejournal.com]

Annie Edison

Partner Off

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

As ya do.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

Karla wondered if it would be fair to warn her potential babysitting partner that participating in this exercise might involve them getting children dumped at their door next year so she could get some prime drinking time in if she ended up with seven children again.

Seven. WTF?

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam wasn't likely to have to deal with that. Wanna know why?

"Why do you need a babysitter?" she pondered aloud. "I never had a babysitter. Kids've gotta learn to take care of themselves eventually, anyway."

Really, the way she grew up explained so much.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"...How old is eventually?" Karla asked, already a little dubious, yes.

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"I dunno," Sam said. "Can they walk yet?"

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"Most children start learning to walk around...what? Like a year or so?"

Surely Sam couldn't be suggesting...

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"Okay, so, yeah."

Sam didn't know many children.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"You want to leave a one year old by itself?!"

Nope. Sam was definitely not going on the 'people to shift the kids off to so Mommy can cry in a corner' list.

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"If you have more than one," Sam suggested, "then they won't be alone."

Maybe that was why Melanie ended up so responsible so quickly. She'd had to look out for Sam.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean the other one is any more responsible," Karla pointed out, having images of leaving Nommy and Kayla (oh, Darkness, and Jaenelle Mara!) alone together. "Sometimes, the more there are, the more insane they get."

Lunch time. Two words that still made her shudder.

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"Well how else are they going to learn?" Sure, Melanie and Sam may have set fire to the sofa a couple of times, but they figured out not to try and use the hot plate on it eventually.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"Slowly and with proper supervision?" Karla hazarded. "At least until they're old enough to know not to drink anything that's used for cleaning?"

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"Yeah, my mom just didn't have any cleaning supplies."

If only she was joking.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

Fortunately, by this time, Karla knew better than to ask if the servants kept them all. It had only taken three years, yay!

"There are a lot of ways for kids to do something stupid and get themselves really hurt and nearly killed," she objected. "Hell's fire, I used to manage it even with a nursemaid and a crew of tutors."

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"Wow, you had that many people telling you not to do stuff?"

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"Even more than that, once you factored in the servants and Mother's Court and random males and whatnot," Karla said with a shrug. "I didn't really let it stop me, though."

Karla. Willful. They went together.

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"See?" said Sam. "Then what was the point of having 'em in the first place?"

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"Because the stuff I did manage to do was nothing compared to the stuff I wanted to do," Karla said. "Even if they missed one prank or horrible idea in every ten, that's still nine they prevented."

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

"Man, but how epic would those other nine have been?"

Yeah, Sam didn't get Karla's point.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"Speaking as someone who had seven kids show up last year? Epic is not something a parent wants to deal with. Well, not a parent, exactly. But is it really babysitting if you're sorta the parent? Biologically? Uhhh, temporary child-wrangler?"

Watch Karla get confused by her own terminology.

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam got lost even before the terminology. "Someone made you look after seven kids?" She tilted her head. "You should have made them make stuff for you."

Because child labor was cheap and satisfying.

Re: Partner Off

[glacial_queen]

"My stupid future-selves who can't seem to keep their Darkness-bedamned legs closed," Karla growled. "And what could seven rambunctious kids make besides a giant mess?"

Re: Partner Off

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam pondered that. "T-shirts," she supposed. "I bet you could make 'em make t-shirts."

Re: Partner Off

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Seifer had been warned, had been shown pictures, so he knew what was going to happen. He was set, sitting there, drawing up plans for the security system to keep his kid(s) corralled.

The whole 'godlike psycho-kinetic powers and a hunger for stars' bit from the lecture had him giving Deadpool sideways looks though.

Re: Partner Off

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"What are you drawing?" Rilla inquired.

Re: Partner Off

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Seifer looked up and grinned. "Security system. Alarms, remote locked doors, security cameras, the works. The kids wouldn't even be able to piss their diapers without an alert popping up."

Re: Partner Off

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla looked vaguely disturbed to hear that. "We don't even have a fence around the flower beds at home," she offered.

Re: Partner Off

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

"We didn't have one around the field by the orphanage either, but I know what it was like at school with the kids there."

Sneaking out, pushing people into fountains, dangling them from the balcony... and that was just the Disciplinary Committee.

Re: Partner Off

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"You were in an orphanage?" Rilla looked stricken. "So was my mother."

Re: Partner Off

[child-of-rer.livejournal.com]

Sov wasn't really sure they would ever need a babysitter. If they had children they would be looked after by their older hearsthsibs, no doubt. Also, they had not yet experienced the Fandom effect where future offspring showed up. That clearly just happened to others.

Talk to the Teacher

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Oh, he's babysat.

OOC

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Donde... esta... la biblioteca...