fandomhigh | Cupcake War Crimes, Week 4 (Tuesday, Period 1)

Once again the Home Ec room looked like itself. The two aliens up front also looked like themselves.

"Welcome back," Stark said. "Again. I hope you’re all yourselves." He hadn’t been anyone, or anywhere, else this weekend but he was aware that the island had done something odd yet again.

"For you newer kids, this kind of thing has been happening in Fandom forever," Anders added helpfully. Even though it had usually skipped him. "Sorry to tell you, though, it usually doesn't last long enough to get you out of classes."

"In honor of this, er, occasion, we’ve brought some cupcake examples today that aren’t really themselves. Well, they are. Themselves. But they are pretending to be something else." Stark’s statement wasn’t entirely accurate, but it was close enough.

Well, that sounded incredibly ominous, didn't it? So Anders was quick to add, "And ones that actually are what they look like. Or claim to be." One of their bad examples was particularly, in his opinion, evil.

"The problem," Stark said, frowning, "is that they look the same. The ones that are what they should be and the ones pretending to be what they should be."

"And there isn't really a good way to tell just by looking," Anders added with a frown. "So think about that for a little while before we get to baking for the day. What's your best chance at identifying the tricky cupcakes? Any powers you have that would help? Just your brains? Is there a way you can figure that out without actually tasting them?"

It was a complicated answer, most likely, so he amended, "This is one of those 'no one right answer' questions."

Of course, you could always try asking your alien instructors. They weren’t likely to lead you astray. They took their cupcakes far too seriously for that. And they just weren’t that mean.

Nor were they mean enough to turn you loose on the evil ninja camouflage cupcakes without telling you what was in them. Anders uncovered what was now well established as The Bad Cupcake Tray with a flourish. "These ~~#5 in the gallery, stupid inability to link directly~~ claim to be red velvet cupcakes. They look like ‘em, don’t they? Well, they’re actually beets." He paused for a moment, because a moment was necessary to appreciate the true horror there.

"And there are these," Stark added, pointing to what looked like chocolate cupcakes next to the red ones. "They look like chocolate. Because they are chocolate. But not just chocolate. These are full of garlic. And hazardous to the health of certain vampires." He looked around, suddenly slightly worried. "None of you are vampires, are you?"

"If you are the kind of vampire who can’t deal with garlic, definitely don’t eat those," Anders blurted out emphatically.

"Please!" Stark added. He hadn’t been to the clinic in years and didn’t particularly want to go back escorting an accidentally poisoned-by-cupcake student. "Now, we also brought you some real red velvet cupcakes. And real chocolate ones." He uncovered the Good Tray to illustrate, and perhaps to gaze longingly at a chocolate cupcake. They were his favorites, after all.

"It’s okay, man, I’ll save you a few," Anders told him in an undertone. "Oh, yeah. And the winner from last week is Jacob Black. Congrats, dude."