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fandomhigh2011-06-01 12:13 am
shotbillmurray.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-06-01 12:13 am
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Wednesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Class Four
When the students entered the Dangershop today, they’d find themselves inside a deserted Wal*Mart store.
“Today we’re going to talk about equipment. Specifically we’re going to talk about-”
Yes. Columbus hit a button on the remote. And yes more block letters appeared behind him.
“-Traveling light. There’s a trick to this: You need to carry not necessarily what you want but what you need. That not only goes for physical items but emotional ones as well. As much as you might love your friends and family... Well if they’re gone, carrying around a photo album isn’t going to do you much good as much as several boxes of shot gun cartridges. That brings me to another rule.”
Yes. That would be Columbus playing with his remote again.
Yes. Columbus loves his block letters.
“Ziploc bags. Yes, they are bad for the environment. Then again? Zombies don’t recycle. However they are good for one important factor: keeping moisture out. If you’re in a dark place and your flashlight goes out, the last thing you want to find is that your replacement batteries are corroded. Or if you need to reload, you don’t want to find that your supply of ammunition has been soaked with zombie... um. Juices.”
Ew.
Columbus then waved his arm around the room. “Today, your classroom assignment is to gather all the items you would need to survive in a zombie apocalypse. While dodging zombies of course. Pick your weapon from the ones available in the store and let’s see how everything works.”
And with that, Columbus hit the remote revealing zombies wearing Wal*Mart smocks who snarled and then started to run towards the students.
“Good luck!”
[OCD is up! Warning: Post contains zombies and potential violence. Should be obvious but there you go...]
“Today we’re going to talk about equipment. Specifically we’re going to talk about-”
Yes. Columbus hit a button on the remote. And yes more block letters appeared behind him.
“-Traveling light. There’s a trick to this: You need to carry not necessarily what you want but what you need. That not only goes for physical items but emotional ones as well. As much as you might love your friends and family... Well if they’re gone, carrying around a photo album isn’t going to do you much good as much as several boxes of shot gun cartridges. That brings me to another rule.”
Yes. That would be Columbus playing with his remote again.
Yes. Columbus loves his block letters.
“Ziploc bags. Yes, they are bad for the environment. Then again? Zombies don’t recycle. However they are good for one important factor: keeping moisture out. If you’re in a dark place and your flashlight goes out, the last thing you want to find is that your replacement batteries are corroded. Or if you need to reload, you don’t want to find that your supply of ammunition has been soaked with zombie... um. Juices.”
Ew.
Columbus then waved his arm around the room. “Today, your classroom assignment is to gather all the items you would need to survive in a zombie apocalypse. While dodging zombies of course. Pick your weapon from the ones available in the store and let’s see how everything works.”
And with that, Columbus hit the remote revealing zombies wearing Wal*Mart smocks who snarled and then started to run towards the students.
“Good luck!”
[OCD is up! Warning: Post contains zombies and potential violence. Should be obvious but there you go...]
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