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fandomhigh2011-06-01 12:13 am
shotbillmurray.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-06-01 12:13 am
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Wednesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Class Four
When the students entered the Dangershop today, they’d find themselves inside a deserted Wal*Mart store.
“Today we’re going to talk about equipment. Specifically we’re going to talk about-”
Yes. Columbus hit a button on the remote. And yes more block letters appeared behind him.
“-Traveling light. There’s a trick to this: You need to carry not necessarily what you want but what you need. That not only goes for physical items but emotional ones as well. As much as you might love your friends and family... Well if they’re gone, carrying around a photo album isn’t going to do you much good as much as several boxes of shot gun cartridges. That brings me to another rule.”
Yes. That would be Columbus playing with his remote again.
Yes. Columbus loves his block letters.
“Ziploc bags. Yes, they are bad for the environment. Then again? Zombies don’t recycle. However they are good for one important factor: keeping moisture out. If you’re in a dark place and your flashlight goes out, the last thing you want to find is that your replacement batteries are corroded. Or if you need to reload, you don’t want to find that your supply of ammunition has been soaked with zombie... um. Juices.”
Ew.
Columbus then waved his arm around the room. “Today, your classroom assignment is to gather all the items you would need to survive in a zombie apocalypse. While dodging zombies of course. Pick your weapon from the ones available in the store and let’s see how everything works.”
And with that, Columbus hit the remote revealing zombies wearing Wal*Mart smocks who snarled and then started to run towards the students.
“Good luck!”
[OCD is up! Warning: Post contains zombies and potential violence. Should be obvious but there you go...]
“Today we’re going to talk about equipment. Specifically we’re going to talk about-”
Yes. Columbus hit a button on the remote. And yes more block letters appeared behind him.
“-Traveling light. There’s a trick to this: You need to carry not necessarily what you want but what you need. That not only goes for physical items but emotional ones as well. As much as you might love your friends and family... Well if they’re gone, carrying around a photo album isn’t going to do you much good as much as several boxes of shot gun cartridges. That brings me to another rule.”
Yes. That would be Columbus playing with his remote again.
Yes. Columbus loves his block letters.
“Ziploc bags. Yes, they are bad for the environment. Then again? Zombies don’t recycle. However they are good for one important factor: keeping moisture out. If you’re in a dark place and your flashlight goes out, the last thing you want to find is that your replacement batteries are corroded. Or if you need to reload, you don’t want to find that your supply of ammunition has been soaked with zombie... um. Juices.”
Ew.
Columbus then waved his arm around the room. “Today, your classroom assignment is to gather all the items you would need to survive in a zombie apocalypse. While dodging zombies of course. Pick your weapon from the ones available in the store and let’s see how everything works.”
And with that, Columbus hit the remote revealing zombies wearing Wal*Mart smocks who snarled and then started to run towards the students.
“Good luck!”
[OCD is up! Warning: Post contains zombies and potential violence. Should be obvious but there you go...]
Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Listen to the Lecture/Limber Up
Go Shopping!
Feel free to use anything you might find in a Wal*Mart as a weapon. Bonus points for killing without using a firearm.
Zombie Kill of the Week!
The TA's!
The Teacher
I want a zombie!
Maybe one that doesn't look like a clown though.
OOC:
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: The TA's!
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Listen to the Lecture/Limber Up
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Go Shopping!
He stood on top of one of the wall racks, surveying the store to find a safe spot. The aisles looked like city blocks, in a way.
Re: Listen to the Lecture/Limber Up
Re: Go Shopping!
As he turned one aisle, he came face to face with a gross, puss seeping zombie. Screeching, Nathan jammed a hammer right in the zombie's eye, kicked them and took off running the other way.
Re: Go Shopping!
Unfortunately, several of the zombies had the same idea, and as she rounded a corner she almost ran right into a pair of them. She shrieked and instinctively let loose with a blast of her powers, zapping the zombies with microwave radiation and blowing them to crispy bits.
Oh god oh god oh god "I'm sorry!" she wailed.
Yes. Apologizing to the zombie simulations.
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
*obscure crossover joke is obscure*Re: Go Shopping!
Right. Hardware aisle for a mag-lite and batteries for it...
Check that. Hardware aisle for beating a large female zombie in an even larger purple flowered dress and squelchily-oozing plastic flip-flips over the head with a mag-lite until it stopped twitching.
Then once more for good measure.
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Listen to the Lecture/Limber Up
Re: The TA's!
Re: Go Shopping!
Instead she ended up in the gardening section, where the gardening hoe didn't work as well as she would have liked. It turned out to be a good thing she also grabbed a pair of pruning shears, though she never ever ever wanted to get that close to one of these again.
Re: Zombie Kill of the Week!
Yes. Greendale gets a Twinkie.
Re: Go Shopping!
Hey. Batteries were totally important.
Re: Go Shopping!
Re: Go Shopping!
Hey, hardware was always an excellent choice.
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]
Re: Sign in [6/1 - Zombies]