Attitude: Just Deal With It - Tuesday, Period 2

[raspberryturk]

"Yo, losers!"

Nope. Not 'Rookies,' today. Reno had a syllabus, and that was the sort of thing that happened when he tried to stay topical while following it.

One of the many reasons why Reno should never have a syllabus, kids.

"I'm Reno, an' this is your Attitude workshop for the first half of the summer, yo. I can tell you're all thrilled." Smile for the crazy ginger at the front of the room, kids. Show him how pleased you are to be here. "So, if you're one of them kids that actually signed up for this course, congrats. You get to learn how to stop bein' a loser before the term is through. Maybe you'll even be good at it, yo! If you ain't one of them kids an' you got no clue what you're doin' here, good job, you or the office managed to screw up your paperwork, an' now you're stuck with me!"

It was kind of eerie, the way he sounded so cheerful through all of that.

"Now, since it's the first workshop an' all, we're gonna take it easy, yo. Introductions, but with a twist. Today, I wanna hear your name, what you're doin' in this first class, and the worst insult that you can remember anybody ever throwin' at you. And then I want you to throw somethin' at me. Do your friggin' worst, kids, and toss in a rude gesture while you're at it, yo."

Yep. Reno was telling you to tell him off. And maybe to flip him off at the same time.

"Try an' keep your pants up, yo."

[Open! Possible warning for strong language in the intro thread, so click from work at your own discretion. Syllabus and Roster are here!]

Comments

Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

Your name, why you're here, the worst thing anybody has ever called you, and then get really creative in your efforts to insult Reno. Preferably with a rude gesture.

Other kids, feel free to ping in with pointers if anyone's gesture or insult strikes you as particularly weak. This class is all about sharing and caring.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[faithandscience.livejournal.com]

"William Murdoch," he introduced himself. "I'm here because- I'm not entirely certain. I think there may have perhaps been some error in the sign-up process? This isn't a class I would have chosen for myself," he admitted, rather boldly, he thought, but then the teacher did seem to, er... approve of boldness. "The worst thing anyone's ever called me? Well, there was a lad once who seemed to think I'd turn out just like my father." William had punched him rather soundly on the nose, in one of his infrequent displays of temper. "And-" oh dear, when it came to actually insulting someone else he was rather at a loss.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

Aww, the proper kid was balking!

It was kind of cute.

"And? I'm sure you can come up with somethin', man. A crack at my hair? The way it looks like I don't seem to know how the hell to do up my shirt? Pull some kinda insult right outta that weird literature with all the 'thee' and 'thou' crap in it, if you gotta. I know you heard this stuff somewhere in your life, man. We ain't all a bunch'a angels here, yo."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

"Wow, do you need this class," George said helpfully.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[andthemoralis.livejournal.com]

Oh, this could only end in rainbows and sunshine. Rainbows and sunshine. "I'm Stan," he said with a vague little wave. "I'm here because my dad's a moron and... I don't know. Worst thing I've been called might be a 'cock guzzling, vaginal belch, spooge bucket.'"

Thank you for that, Stan. Thanks so much.

"And teacher? Carrot Top called, he says to stop dressing up like him. You're making him look even gayer."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

You know, Reno had learned about Carrot Top once. He'd used the guy's real name as a codename for the CIA. He hadn't been aware at the time what the name meant, but now...

"Not bad," he mused, smirking a little. "You saw that picture of the guy without his shirt on, right? He could probably turn you inside-out with his pinky finger, kid. You got some kinda gesture to toss in for emphasis, at least?"

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[andthemoralis.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, and I'd still rather bathe in glass and battery acid than watch his shitty ass stand up," Stan shot back.

Then, with a sigh, flipped Reno off.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Okay, so George was impressed. Cock guzzling vaginal belch spooge bucket. Pretty impressive string.

"Who called you that?"

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[andthemoralis.livejournal.com]

Stan glanced over, frowning for a moment. "Oh, a friend back home. He's douche."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[lockestheway]

"I'm Peter Wiggin," Peter said, at least trying to fit the mold of a decent student, though god knew what Reno expected of him. "I'm here because my mother thought it was a good idea to send me here--" the hateful, spiteful hag, "--and my sister likes to use a lot of bodily functions to insult me. She puts a lot of work into it, and I don't think I'd be doing her credit picking just one of them."

And then as he sat back he added, because he thought he was clever, "And with all due respect, sir, I think there's more constructive things to do than coming up with a way to insult you cleverly."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

"Maybe there are, Pete, but if you wanted to do those things, you'd be in a different workshop, wouldn't you?"

Reno smirked a little. Hey, for all he knew, Mama's Boy Pete here had agreed that this was the class that he wanted to be in. And who was Reno to disagree with this kid's mom, right?

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

"I'm Freddie Benson, and I thought I could use a little practice in maybe standing up for myself a little more. As for the worst thing anyone's ever said, someone once told me 'If I had to marry you -- or a bowl of spit -- I'd be "Mrs. Bowl-Of-Spit.'"

"And, uhhh, you've got bad hair and you seem kind of irresponsible."

Ooooh, burn.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

Oh yeah. Reno was going to sob himself to sleep tonight over that one.

"Thanks," he replied, grinning. "The responsible types get all the fun, Spitboy. So, when are you gonna insult me?"

Burned right on back, Fredward.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie made a little face when he was called 'Spitboy'.

"Well, how about... you're a nub and no one would ever love you without being blind, deaf, or stupid?"

He was pretty much reciting Sam lines, yes.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[sexonyoursheets.livejournal.com]

"Puck," he said, tossing off a wave. "I'm here because I'm awesome. No one calls me names 'cause of that, either. 'Cause I'll beat 'em up or throw them in a dumpster."

He paused, appraising Reno, and added, "Looks like someone already did that to you, though."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

"Once or twice," Reno agreed, smirking a little. "You wanna give it a try, hot shot?"

Oh, he was having the time of his life, today. These kids were great.

"I'm sure you can do better'n the dumpster thing, yo. Where I'm from, we think of them as fancy places to hang your hat at night."

It would be more funny if he wasn't talking in all seriousness, probably.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

"Seifer Almasy. I'm here because someone thought it would be a joke to sign me up for this class. I'm betting she thought it would help me have less of an attitude."

He grinned and leaned back. "I'm a little short on cash, and you could pass as a halfway unugly girl. How about I put you on a dress and stick you on a street corner. I should make enough for a beer."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

"You'll make enough for the whole damn bar on the days the island turns me into a chick, yo. Hottest lesbian in Fandom, those days," Reno replied with a laugh.

He wasn't really exaggerating, so far as he was concerned, either.

"Can't wait to see you on them days, slick. So, where's the gesture, buddy?"

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Seifer smirked and very neatly flipped Reno the bird. "I'm not shy."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[wheeler-360.livejournal.com]

"I'm, uh, Marshall Wheeler," he introduced himself, "and I really don't know what my parents were thinking when they signed me up for this? So I can't really say why I'm here, other than that they're every crazier than I thought."

Or, y'know, hadn't read the course description thoroughly when picking Marshall's courses.

He shrugged a bit. "I guess I get called nerd and geek a lot?" Oh, right, insult the professor, too. Uh. Uh. "Which I guess you wouldn't know much about, since you're... as smart as a box of hammers?"

Let's pretend that wasn't a question, shall we? Belatedly, Marshall threw up a weak middle finger.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

Please hold, Marshall. Reno had to take this opportunity to sputter out a laugh.

"That's gotta be the best timing I ever saw on a finger," he announced, unable to stifle the grin. "You wanna try the hammer one again an' sound a little more confident about that, Slick?"

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[iwishiwasbig.livejournal.com]

"Hi, I'm Dave Nelson. And I guess I'm here because I figured it might give me a better chance to manage difficult personalities in the future," Dave said. "I don't really get insulted too much, though. Mostly just ignored. But I do get called short a lot."

"Oh, and you..." Dave was at a loss. He rarely insulted people. He preferred answering questions in a particularly sarcastic way to make people feel foolish. "... sure do have a face for radio. And a voice for print." It was the best he could do. No rude gestures, though.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

Really, almost everyone in the class was failing at rude gestures today. Reno was starting to wonder if maybe these kids had been hit on the heads a few times before class, or something.

They were still kind of cute for making the attempt, though.

"Yeah? So what'd you say if I told you that I got the spellin' skills for video?"

It brought it around full-circle quite nicely, Reno thought.

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

George shrugged. "George," she said. "I don't remember the worst thing anybody's called me. I kind of don't pay attention. Probably that I'm rude and not living up to my potential and blahblahblah it kind of all sounds the same after that."

She folded her arms and put her head down on her desk. And lifted one hand, without looking up, to give him the bird. Which she was going to hold there, yes.

"Congratulations," she said, "on your life choices thus far, that leave you here, on this fucking island, teaching a bunch of sullen teenagers how to be even bigger douchebags. And getting paid for it. Your mom has to be so proud."

Re: Introduce Yourselves!

[raspberryturk]

Reno shrugged lightly.

"My mom either died of some STD after she whored herself out one too many times in the slums of Midgar, or she died when a giant rock fell from the sky and flattened the slums of Midgar."

And the rest of it.

"My mom's the last one out there I'm lookin' to impress, princess," he added, completely casually. Like he gave a fuck about some bitch he never knew? "But you gotta admit, Earl, this ain't a half-bad fuckin' island to be on. I gotta say, you're the first one I didn't have to tell to flip me off, kid. If that ain't potential, I dunno what is, yo."

Reno: Master of low standards.