Classrooms Around Campus, All Day Saturday

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

It was Saturday, and that meant Career Day! Unbeknownst to all the students who had taken the career placement test, Fandom had apparently conspired to place them all in workshops that didn't quite fit the answers they gave for their tests. The island was tricky that way. Not to mention that the workshops that the island had planned were somewhat different from the workshops an ordinary school might offer on Career Day. As in quite a lot different.

So the classrooms all around the school were filled with visitors from off-island and island alike, all of whom had been led to believe that they would be teaching eager-minded groups of students, excited to learn about their prospective careers. This assumption was not necessarily accurate.

[[up early early early for timezones! wait for the OCD or puppies will die. the puppies are safe now.]]

Comments

How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

And Brian Kinney! Ooh, that's me.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

Brian Kinney was ballsy. He walked – no, more like strutted – into the classroom at his own leisurely pace, decked out in a Prada suit that fit him like nobody’s business. Behind him came Cynthia, his assistant, who did not look very pleased to be carrying all those boards with her. With a little bit of a scowl in Brian’s direction, she started to set them up in the front of the room. They were all copies of some of Brian’s ads, and each and every one of them featured a surprisingly attractive model in extremely limited clothing.

It was kind of his shtick.

“Sex,” he said, once all the posters were up and Cynthia was standing off in a corner of the room. “It sells. It’s how you get attention, attention’s how you get business, and business is how you get money. It’s all about sex.”

Someone might be inclined to assume that this speech came from the fact that he was talking to teenagers. That someone would be wrong. This was just how he did business.

“People ask me how I get Clio awards and pay for hardwood floors. The answer’s simple. It’s sex.”

And in case anyone was wondering, no, not in that way. Though he probably could. He was certainly attractive enough.

“Let me get a show of hands,” he continued, ignoring Cynthia’s smug little look in the back of the room. He turned one of his boards around to reveal the back side, which was… significantly less appealling (http://lh6.ggpht.com/_EGvCkcfIfQo/R5EoUJtkA4I/AAAAAAAADAA/pPwaFH7CS7w/j0399838.jpg). By his standards, of course. “How many of you like this ad?” he asked, obviously expecting zero hands in the air. Without waiting for a response, he turned it back around to its original display. “Now, how about this (http://files.coloribus.com/files/adsarchive/part_1058/10580305/file/viagra-jardim-small-88347.jpg) ad?” He paused. “You may be surprised to know that these are actually for the same product. Yeah. Viagra. Three guesses which one sold more.”

He let that sink in.

“I want you brainstorming,” he said briskly after a moment. “Cynthia’s passing out a list of possible subjects you could have. Whatever you get, you design an ad for that product and then come show me and I’ll give you a grade.”

He pulled out the desk chair and took a seat, lounging comfortably. “Come see me if you have any questions.”

Yup. That was it.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn raised her hand. "How come anybody thought the ad with the old people was a good idea?"

She thought the whole 'sex sells' angle was a little gross, but it wasn't like it was a shocker. Short skirts were a cheer classic for a reason. As for the workshop itself ... well, Quinn didn't see herself in advertising, but she wasn't offended to be there or anything.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

Brian rolled his eyes. "Something about togetherness and monogamy and all that crap," he said shortly. "All those garbage concepts. Can't sell a thing that way."

He maybe hated monogamy. Like, a lot. Sorry, Quinn.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Right, because Quinn was such a success at the monogamy thing.

She made a face. "I like it better when it's hot people being all together and monogamous," she decided. "It's more attractive."

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[therewaslife]

By the time Brian finished his lecture, Bod was about the color of an apple and about as hot as the sun. He'd gotten a lot better about loosening up but he still wasn't that good.

He hadn't even looked at the assigned product in his hand yet. He just needed to calm down a bit first.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

Brain raised an eyebrow.

"Bad batch of poppers?" he asked sympathetically.

Sorry, Bod. So very sorry.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[therewaslife]

"Poppers?" Bod repeated, not knowing the term. "Is that some sort of food?"

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

While she'd been annoyed to spend a Saturday supposedly learning things, Caroline was all smiles for Brian's little lecture. She enjoyed pretty people talking about how sex sells.

But what was this crap about making her own ad and grades?

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

Ordinarily, Brian wouldn't care that someone wasn't participating in the activity, because he could just fire them. Unfortunately, he couldn't fire kids since he was the one working, here.

"You aren't working," he informed Caroline.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

"What, like I should give an ad man ideas for advertising that he could then grab and run back to work to use and actually get paid something for thoughts that weren't originally his? I don't think so," Caroline replied, smiling brightly. "But I was thinking about getting a latte. What do you think - vanilla or hazelnut?"

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

George appreciated it when people cut the bullshit and embraced their cynical sides. Which meant she enjoyed the hell out of this workshop, yes.

She hadn't expected to bother doing any assignments today, but that much cynicism really deserved a minimum of effort, and, well. It was only going to require a minimum of effort to pair sex with whatever she got as a topic.

"Okay," George said, holding up her ad. The picture involved stick figures. She was not an artist, here. "Product: cell phone. Ad: hot girl, bikini, beach, talking on the phone. The tagline can pretend it's about getting good reception even when you're on vacation and blahblahblah who cares. The subtext: hey, look, a hot bikini model wants to talk to you. Maybe she wants you to come hang out on the beach and fuck her. Go buy a phone."

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

Hmm. This was his kind of kid. Not that Brian really had any kind of kid that he liked, unless you counted persistent and annoying and almost eighteen so it was okay.

Um, right.

"Nice work," he said, nodding approvingly. "And will there be a male-oriented version of the campaign?"

Hey. He wanted some eye candy too.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

George looked at her ad again, narrowing her eyes.

"I hadn't thought of it," she said. "Ads don't usually go for beefcake. I guess women are just supposed to want to be the hot girl on the beach."

And gay men and lesbians, largely ignored.

She chewed her lower lip. "Something about ... that old, well, he said he'll call, and look, he actually will?"

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla was trying very hard not to melt into a tiny puddle of mortification on the floor right now.

She was also not turning over the subject she'd been assigned. If it was anything like the ads they'd seen she'd just die.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

"You look like a pastor on Liberty Avenue," Brian snickered, ambling over. Liberty Avenue was his very favorite hub for clubs and bars in his city. Just ignore him.

"What's wrong?"

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"We don't advertithe like thith at home," she lisped miserably.

Of course at home, heroin was also used medicinally still, so...

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Just think of it as art," Maladicta suggested helpfully. Even if Rilla's reaction was pretty hilarious.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla looked horribly unsure. "Art?"

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

...right then. That was interesting in a way.

Maladicta was just going to drink her coffee and wait for this to be over. Since 'advertising' ranked right up there with 'lawyer' as being needed on the Disc.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

"Are you planning to share that with the class?" Brian asked, indicating the coffee.

A beat.

Then he smirked. "Nah, I'm messing with you. Whatcha got so far?"

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[inneedofcoffee.livejournal.com]

"I would rip out your throat if you took it from me," Maladicta replied with a smile that made it iffy on if she was serious or not. "It's a bit obvious, don't you think? A barely clad woman hawking whatever silly little thing is being sold. Won't people eventually become used to it?"

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

"I suppose mentioning anything about medical side effects or benefits is completely out of the questions for..."

What had she gotten?

She paused, then facepalmed. "K-Y Jelly. Never mind."

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[fuckingnotlove.livejournal.com]

Brian raised an eyebrow. "You're welcome to try," he said, smirking.

So that was a no, Scully.

Re: How To Be A Sleazy Ad Man

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

Scully gave him a very half-hearted glare, then pursed her lips, thinking. This stuff was not being advertised on TV in the 90's. Soooo... "A couple, clearly. Talking about how it makes everything easier?" Well, that sounded dirtier than she meant it.