fandomhigh | How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

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How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

"Now you listen close and you listen hard, bucko," Lucas said, holding up the receiver of an old-school phone. "The next click you hear is me hanging up. The one after that... is me pulling the trigger!" And with that, Lucas hung up.

"That's kind of my 'Feeling lucky punk' quote from one of my biggest hits, 'You Just Don't Exist,'" Lucas said. "When people dress like Cole Hazard at conventions, that's the line they quote. That's the power of a catchphrase. You think Schwartzenegger gets to be a politician today if he couldn't mumble at least one good catchphrase per movie? If you do, you're an idiot and the rest of the class should kick your ass and steal your lunch money."

Lucas waited to see if anyone would raise their hand and volunteer for an ass kicking.

"It's Friday. We're in Hawaii on Sunday. You don't want to do any work now, I get that," Lucas said. "Unfortunately for you guys, 'evil' is in my job description. So you're going to get a bunch of situations and you need to come up with catchphrases for them. Your character is a badass. They're about to do something badass. Figure out what you're going to say and then make it sound badass."

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Nathan stared at her and then scrubbed his fingers through his hair, clearly annoyed. He almost started snapping at her about eavesdropping on his conversations but then it dawned on him that she could probably hear shit that was happening three towns over without really meaning to.

"I think I need some special help," he retorted heatedly, not backing down at all. He knew what she could do but there was just no way he was backing off. "Please, enlighten me on what you heard that's made you act like a fucking baby who got her bottle taken away. Please, be my proverbial short bus, Caroline because I wanna know. Maybe you can stop talking in circles and throwing out these bitter spinster cliches and actually tell me what's up your ass."

"There is nothing 'up my ass,'" Caroline replied, rolling her eyes and looking away because she was kind of lying. Which Nathan might possibly guess from her lack of verbal diarrhea. "I'm just glad to know all of these fun bits of trivia now."

Nathan just fixed her with a look because that was some shitty lying she'd done right there. Calling her on it would have just been wasting his breath because it wasn't like she'd cop to it.

"Okay, you obviously heard something you're taking umbrage -- " Yeah, he'd used that word. He knew it what it meant. " -- with. And now, you're having the equivalent of a temper tantrum right in front of me save for the rolling around on the floor and the eventual, non kinky spanking, from your mother."

If it was possible to lean closer to her, he did. "So, here's a novel, exciting idea for you, Caroline. What bits of trivia are motivating this little game of 'fuck you, Nathan, I hope you die'? Cuz, I gotta tell you, you suck at this game. You're making assumptions left and right about shit you heard and that's shit."

Edited 2011-02-19 02:13 (UTC)

"Yeah, 'cause you're so amazing at playing your own little game," she said with a snort of derision. Caroline wasn't the greatest at sharing her feelings in a sane manner, especially when those feelings were exponentially more severe over the last few months. Getting a grip was difficult in the heat of things when her chest burned and her voice went all high-pitched.

"But you know what? You don't have to worry about me or my temper or how much you think I suck any more because I am capable of learning my lesson. And that is the worst possible pun to use on me, just so you know, dear roommate."

Nathan barely restrained himself from slapping the top of his desk in frustration. Why Nathan let her get his stomach all knotted up and his shoulders tense was a mystery but it happened and he was dealing with all that right now.

"You're making no sense," he said thinly, shaking his head. "None. You've been ignoring me for nearly three fucking days and I've let you because fuck if I know what happened. But today, today, you apparently wake up with your claws out and hey, Nathan's close by, why don't you gouge out his eyes and put them on a fucking totem pole while you dance nakedly around like I've just provided you a fucking ritual sacrifice?"

Did that make sense? He didn't care. He was too pissed. "You are like speaking in tongues to me right now, you know that? From what I can tell, you think I'm a douche bastard whose neck you wouldn't mind snapping like fucking tampon because of shit you heard me say when I was talking to Kate. And thinking back, remembering what I said, your reactions are so completely fucked and your assumptions are so completely shit that you're the one that needs special help."

"Oh please, it's been one day, Nathan," Caroline argued, somehow ignoring everything else he was saying. "One freaking day! And for God's sake, I figured you'd say something and then you didn't and then I didn't want to say anything because just maybe I thought you were freaked out or pissed off, so bite me. Or go bite your little friend over there, see if I care."

Oh, she would care. And she would glare, too.

"Three days, one day, one week, one hour, it doesn't fucking matter," Nathan snapped in frustration. "I'm sure all that time spent not talking to me was used to formulate all these fucking awful theories about me, right? Maybe along with being a douche bastard with a neck made for snapping, you also think I'm the ass behind Bono's success! Or maybe you think I'm the reason the fucking Spice Girls broke up! Let's just go for broke here, yeah?"

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, taking a momentary breather from this intense little argument. "I am not going to bite her. And you know what, yeah, I was a little pissed off but I got over it because obviously something happened and you needed to leave. I accept that. Obviously, you think I'm some shithead of a guy to stay pissed over that. Thank you. I appreciate the vote of confidence. I wasn't pissed. But, Caroline, I am now. Congratulations on that."

Okay, so she'd kind of assumed he'd been pissed already, so that was kind of new information, not that Caroline was planning on backing down or admitting she was wrong about this since clearly if he wasn't mad and he was still acting the way he'd been acting, well, it was almost worse.

"Great, I'm super excited I could help you with that and I stand by my original comment. If only break started now, you could be rid of me faster."

Nathan shook his head and laughed humorlessly at her, at this whole entire fucking situation, at whatever he might have read wrong with their weird vibe.

"You can't even tell me why I suck," Nathan pointed out, shaking his head. "You're just yelling cliched generalities at me with some random bits of my conversation with someone else thrown in. I wanna know why you think I suck. I wanna know. List them out. Declare them to the world, Caroline. Let's share with the world how much of a dick I am and how much of a martyr you are to be living with me when you so obviously would rather sleep in a tent on the fucking roof."

Yeah, he sucked because he was somehow managing to make her jealous and that was just not fair. Clearly Caroline needed to find an outlet to make it so she was not the jealous one in their room.

"Oh, I'm listing why you suck now? Well, you can hardly say my name. It's CARE-o-line, in case you were interested. And I wouldn't rather sleep on the roof, though maybe you could. It'd mean not trying to sleep through all that snoring you do. Or you could just join Katie. She doesn't seem very discerning."

Well, he hadn't actually expected his accent and his pronunciation of her goddamn name to be derided today. So, that was just swell. Nathan went back to glaring at her.

"My accent is a part of me and it's fucking adorable, goddammit!" Nathan exclaimed, gripping one edge of his desk so he'd stay there and not just stomp away from her. "If I suck so hard and so much, CARE-o-line, why've you let yourself kiss me three separate times now? What's that about? Did you just want to see what it was like to slum with an Irishman who can't pronounce your name correctly? Were you just taking pity on me?"

Nathan didn't know what to expect with that question but he thought it a valid one all things considered.

"Shut up!" Caroline exclaimed, really not expecting him to be announcing that sort of information to the class at large. She got closer to reply in a lowered voice. "That had nothing to do with pity and you freaking know it!" And his accent was adorable and she hated him for it right then.

"Wow, I think I get it," Nathan said, shaking his head like he was a fool not to have seen it the entire time. "You're ashamed. You're ashamed that you kissed me. Aren't you?"

There was no disguising Caroline's shock. She leaned in so close that she could have kissed him had she not been pissed off. "If I was fucking ashamed, I would not be making a God damned fool of myself right now."

Okay, not ashamed. Nathan had to look down and away from her because that one actually made him feel bad enough to possibly apologize. He didn't know if the words were gonna come out though.

"Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that but that's the fucking problem with assumptions, isn't it?" he asked pointedly. "You make them and you're wrong and it's a fuck up. See, I learned from mine. You're not ashamed and I shouldn't think that because I seriously think you're two seconds away from cracking my nose into pieces. And yet you're committed to thinking me a fucking asshole for something you heard and probably do not understand. Why?"

Well fuck him for breaking out the apology and making her look like the asshole in the room when clearly that title belonged to the corn husker.

When Caroline finally replied, it all came out in a speedy jumble. As usual. "So then you didn't sleep with that girl and now she's not giving back your shirt in class and you're not talking about getting together later and I should just fucking shut up and ignore you because I'm totally stupid for thinking anything was different than this time last week?" Caroline asked, her face looking significantly more hurt and less like she was going to snap his tiny neck.

"You're not stupid," he said quietly, just starting with that since it seemed the easiest thing to accomplish immediately. He was finding it hard to even look at her right now what with that expression she was pulling.

"She was returning my shirt that I left there, yeah," he continued even if he thought about lying and telling Caroline that he'd spilled wine on said shirt and Kate had offered to dry clean it out of the kindness of her own heart. For some reason, Nathan thought that might bring back the look of 'I am going to snap your neck like I'm breaking into a cookie.'

"But, here's something you don't know," he said, lowering his voice to the point that she'd be the only one hearing. "Those plans that you heard me make? They were a general thing about seeing her on vacation. Just seeing. I have no plans to try and fall into bed with her. None. Zero. I don't plan on leaving my shirts in her room like I'm setting up a fucking scavenger hunt."

Did he want to? Sure. But Kate's situation totally fucking pissed him off and he was refusing to even think about that just as a way of rebelling against her shitty boyfriend.

"You should not shut up," he added, still quiet but looking at her now. "And you should not ignore me. Please don't ignore me, Caroline. You're not stupid. You're...right."

In Caroline's mind, she really was stupid for ever mixing it up with this boy. Had she forgotten her plan of not getting involved with anyone? Or of going for the ones she couldn't possible get? So much failure.

But at least now she knew that he didn't like being ignored. That was totally getting filed somewhere memorable.

"So I'm right. Fan-freaking-tastic." Could he sense the excitement? "It is too early in the day for this crap."

Nathan just sat back and shook his head, completely at a loss for what to do right now. He was just...he didn't know. She was right about one thing, it was too early for this crap.

"Yeah, don't sound so fucking excited," he said, sounding pissed off all over again for trying to be honest and getting her sarcasm thrown back in his face. "Here, I'll make everything easier on you."

And with that, he stood up and glanced over towards the door. "Go back to treating me like a fucking brick wall. Sure that'll give you lots of time and energy to get your precious beauty sleep. I'd just hate to ruin the trip for you especially when you're getting a new shiny roommate."

Edited 2011-02-19 05:08 (UTC)

Oh yeah, his was totally a sane reaction. Caroline didn't understand what Nathan failed to grasp about why they had all these communication issues. Maybe they were just lost in translation.

Caroline glanced down, not feeling like seeing him all running off again. Apparently they took turns. "Fine, I'll ignore you like you want. We'll see if you can manage to ignore me." And the new swimsuit she'd purchased for the trip.

Nathan started to say something else and then just shook his head before stomping out of the classroom, nearly kicking a few desks along the way.

All he could think of as he left was that he'd never be able to totally fucking ignore her. It was fucking irritating that he couldn't and even if he was totally gonna try, he knew he'd lose.

Fuck this entire trip already.

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How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

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