fandomhigh | The Science of Sexuality, Monday

Sherlock would have spent the period ranting about how every single person in his class needed to wave a tube tied or snipped to prevent the abominations of this weekend from coming true. But John had actually put his foot down on the matter. The bastard.

"Today was scheduled to be about the importance of contraceptives, but somehow I think the presence I'd your little spawn has done it for me," he said with less a smile and more twitch at the corner of his mouth. "So. I'm certain Doctor Watson could give you the names of a few clinics to prevent this past weekend from ever happening. John?"

John... was going to ignore him today. Especially after making him deal with Kasei for most of the weekend. "What I think would be useful for all of you is some folders about, er, parenting," he said, determined not to flounder on this one. He had many folders. Many many folders in many colours. "Make sure all of your children are bathed and fed, and if any of them are showing any signs of illness this weekend, please bring them by the clinic. Having children is perfectly natural, no matter what my colleague might say, though I'd hope you'll all... wait until you're a bit older."

Sherlock slouched low in his seat, ignoring John like the healthy, mature, responsible adult that he was. "A beauty and a joy, I'm sure."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you made a pass at miss Kuukaku," John said, like the equally healthy, mature, responsible adult he was.

"Jealousy is hardly becoming, John." No, they weren't giving off a heterosexual impression today.

"You could at least try to feed your own child!"

... No. No, they were not. Maybe they could slip out unnoticed among all the children? Please?

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Wee tiny telepath, who is blocking my attempts with glee. Oh, Emma was making a face, and gave him a small shrug as she typed the next section. I could force it easily, but I don't want to hurt her.

Dahlia, meanwhile, was starting to take an interest in Emma's phone and figuring out who her darling ma mere was texting instead of paying attention to HER.

Her head swiveled around to stare at Peter, eerily resembling one of those 'Children of the Dammed' with her scrutiny.

Peter raised an eyebrow at the kid in return.

And hastily texted.

Help, I've been spotted.

He was at least going to enjoy this.

On. Your. Own.

Peter wasn't the only one who was going to enjoy this.

Dahlia quickly wriggled out of Emma's lap, evading the grasp of her ma mere as she made a beeline for Peter, face lighting-up with glee.

Evil, evil glee.

"DADDY PETER!!!"

That would be Karla looking up and giving Dahlia a horrified look.

Uh, no offense Peter.

"Inside voice, Dahlia," was all Emma said as she apparently went back to flipping through the handouts.

On the inside? Calculating the odds of 1) Dahlia being serious or 2) Doing this just to screw with them.

Peter just sort of stared. This was the first kid that knew his name.

"...wait, you're the one with three moms?"

He was not entirely opposed to this idea of a future. Hypothetically.

Dahlia just held out her arms to be picked up. "I found ma mere and Mama and Mommy and Papa Warren and now I found you!" she announced, still not using her indoor voice. "I want up."

Peter hesitated, but then reached down to pick her up.

"Wow. That's one big family," he said. "There and other papas or daddies I should know about?"

Hippie commune future? That wasn't expected.

"You an' Papa Warren and Daddy Bobby and Daddy Alex and -" she started to ramble, trying to count names on her fingers. "- and Fader Eric and - " Someone had a very good pokerface.

"But you have to take me back to see the swan boats! Ma mere doesn't take me to Boston often enough! I want to feed the swans and the ducks, that's why I like you best!"

[Guess who forgot she doesn't get notifs on this one? SIGH.]

Peter blinked a few more times. That was one weird family.

"You just like calling people daddy, don't you?" Peter said, actually amused a bit.

Dahlia just beamed.

"It makes mamere and Mama and Mommy flail when I call people 'daddy,'" she confided. "This mamere and Mama and Mommy. My other mamere thinks it's funny."

"The one that's the right age and everything," Peter said. "Huh. Good kid."

He liked that sort of behavior."

"I do like you best," she said, all wide-eyed innocence as she flung her arms around his neck. "'Cause you give me coffee alla time!"

<<Fair warning, give her coffee and Sookie will read you the riot act,>> Emma warned, using her telepathy to talk to both of them at once.

<<Not that I know where my daughter got such a horrible addiction, or how she turned out such a manipulative little thing.>>

The Science of Sexuality, Monday

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