fandomhigh | Being a Proper Sea Dog, Friday, Period 3 [Session 3]

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sea dogs

Being a Proper Sea Dog, Friday, Period 3 [Session 3]

Today's class again met in the Danger Shop, and again Hook had programmed a three masted vessel for the activity of the day.

"There we are, there we are. Everyone here and ready?" Hook said, after the class had gathered. "Jolly good job with the rope work last week. Jolly good. You all got up and went straight into things, and for that I applaud you, at least figuratively."

He paced back and forth on the deck a bit, as he spoke.

"As for today, the activity on the syllabus is an exercise in following orders. Which is simple. On the sea, there are instances where you'll have to put your own mind aside and follow orders so that you and the rest of the crew survive. Originally I had something rather harsh planned for today, but given recent events I've decided that would be bad form. Instead, I'm going to test your limits."

He opened a large chest on the deck of the ship, which contained several frilly pink dresses (including one frog-sized). He also gestured to a barrel which was full of dead, whole fish (and one sardine).

"Everyone is to pull on a dress, grab a fish, and slap another student across the face with it. Not hard, mind you, I don't want any permanent damage. A slap, not a wallop. If you find that too difficult, I can provide other orders, if you really feel you can't follow them."

He snapped his fingers. "Chop chop, get to it. This is an object lesson. Don't object to it unless you're ready to present a very good case for why you should mutiny."

And perhaps that was part of the object lesson as well.

[ooc: ~~OCD first, plz.~~ Up and ready to go!]

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He's quite ready to hear whatever your objections are.

Once Dolf had gathered his brain up from the floor, he made his way over to the teacher to object.

Quelle surprise.

"I'm not doing it," he said, "And neither should anyone else."

Thank you for that, Dolf.

"If all you're going to say is 'we shouldn't do it', you've not really thought this whole mutiny thing through, have you? Why shouldn't you do it, lad?" Hook prompted, intrigued to see what reasons would come tumbling forth from Dolf's mouth.

Even if Dolf managed to pull the word 'demeaning' out of his English vocabulary somewhere, he had a feeling Hook wouldn't really see that as a valuable argument. (...Okay, the fact he couldn't remember the word made up about 75% of the reason why he wasn't pushing that one forward, first. 'They wouldn't listen' had never really stopped him from yelling at anyone important.)

"Because this is a school class," he said instead, "Where we are supposed to learn things. Putting on weird clothes and slapping each other with fish might be something for carnival--" You mean 'mardi gras', Dolf. "--but it is nothing that teaches us anything important, so why should we do it? And you making us do it will just make us think less of you, and learn even less if you do have something to say. And you are a teacher, which means that making us do stupid things to amuse you is against everything you should be. So you lose everyone's respect."

...The only reason why he wasn't talking right on was because he needed a breathing pause.

"Oh, very good show, Dolf. Very good show. But perhaps there is a lesson in all this madness, and you're not quite seeing it," Hook said. He gestured over at Nico, who was obviously quite happy to participate. "The lesson here is for me to find out which students will follow ridiculous orders without question, and those who question ridiculous orders on intelligent grounds. And, perhaps, for people to know for certain what sort of person they are. Both are needed in a crew, of course, but the key is knowing what orders to question, and when to follow them despite their objections."

"So the questions I pose to you are these... while it may be humiliating for one student to stand there in a dress, what do you call it when they all do it? Is it humiliating if they are all placed as equals? Or perhaps, you think I am placing myself above it all by not participating myself?"

"When they all do it, it is still humiliating." Thanks for the word, Hook! "But mostly it can also be the start of something very bad. I have known some who ordered their people to do stupid things, and it got a lot of them killed. Because the people at the top don't care about them. You can't trust them when they give stupid or bad orders."

...Yeah, Hook, now you'd done it. ~~And see, if I were Thea Beckman, this rant would be going on for another three pages.~~ "And yes, you are placing yourself above it all. And that is pointless and unfair. But that doesn't mean you should be putting on a dress and slapping people with fish either. At best it is wasted time," he said, stubbornly. "And I'm not following your orders unless I know you will give useful ones."

Rudolf of Amstelveen would now be needing a soapbox, thank you very much.

Hook twisted the ends of his mustache in his hand as Dolf spoke, and nodded along with each point he made.

"You'll make a good captain, one day," Hook said, at the end. "You're right, the orders are ridiculous. But, and this is the important factor, they are not orders that will get you killed. And being able to put aside matters of personal pride for the sake of orders is very important, very important indeed. Since you seem so very smart, Dolf, let me propose a scenario. Theoretical, we shall not actually simulate this. Imagine we come upon a ship, slowly sinking to the depths. I order you not to go look for survivors, because it may be a trap by whomever sunk the vessel. You can hear the cries of people trapped below deck on the doomed vessel. Is that an order that you can follow, Dolf?"

"Is this a sport?! How do we score it?!?!"

Hank had experience with plenty of strange customs from all over the world, so the fish-slapping didn't seem all that unusual.

"It's Finnish," Hook said, not missing a beat. It wasn't that he had anything against Finland, it was just good for the pun. "The goal is to be, of course, slapped the most times. Try to get one hit from the whole class, that's a good lad."

He said it totally earnestly. He just wanted to see if Hank would do it.

Alexander had no objections, only questions, but he hesitated a moment to get over his natural inclination that, no matter what the task, you did not ask questions. But he was no longer Gwydion, a mere slave in a slight land without influence, but rather Prince Alexander of Daventry, a student at Fandom High, and that, if anything, entitled him to the pursuit of the quest of knowledge.

"Excuse me, Captain," he said. "I apologize if the question makes me seem quite droll and ignorant, but I simply must ask. What exactly is the point of the fish slapping? And the dresses, for that matter? It seems a very...curious tradition..."

"The point is to find out what sort of person you are," Hook said, simply. "If you follow orders blindly, or if you wish for more reasoning, or if you simply refuse to do anything that might make you look silly."

"Orders are not always followed blindly," Alexander found himself muttered, before shaking his head slightly. "But I can see how the activity may help determine these sorts of things. Is it a rather traditional sort of seadog hazing? Or did you just come up with it on a whim?"

"A whim, really," Hook said. "The original lesson was going to be far less silly and far darker. But recent events being what they were, bad form and all that."

"Oh."

Alexander's shoulders sagged with the disappointment that there wasn't some great big ritual secret involved in walloping each other with fish while garbed in dresses. But his curiosity swiftly moved on.

"May...I ask what the original intentions for class were?"

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Rilla stalked right on over. "I will gut a fish, I will cook a fish, I will catch a fish," she told him, "but I will not waste a fish." She tacked on belatedly, "sir."

"They aren't real fish," Hook pointed out, with a gentle gesture of his hook. "While it may feel like a fish, smell like a fish, and look like a fish, it is, in fact, an illusion."

"Allow to rephrase then," Rilla replied. "I will not beat anyone with an imaginary fish, either."

Having suffered that humiliation one in her life already, she wasn't at all anxious to relive it. "And I shan't be putting on an imaginary dress that might disappear at any moment."

"Allow to rephrase then," Rilla replied. "I will not beat anyone with an imaginary fish, either."

Having suffered that humiliation once in her life already, she wasn't at all anxious to relive it. "And I shan't be putting on an imaginary dress that might disappear at any moment."

"No one is asking anyone to disrobe before putting on the dresses," Hook pointed out. "And what, may I ask, is the problem with lightly slapping a student with a fish?"

He wanted reasons, really. He was looking forward to objections, but he needed to hear why.

"Because it's needlessly humiliating," Rilla replied, "as well as providing punishment when no transgression has occurred. All it proves is that you are capricious and cruel, which we have probably already noted."

She wrinkled her nose. "And wearing one dress atop another is silly. I already have one on that is quite serviceable."

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Zack had gotten as far as the dress. He had! It had been... Weird, putting it on. And he looked kind of terrible in it, to be frank.

But upon realizing that he was going to have to smack Jason in the face with a fish, a different plan had formulated, and now he was walking up to Hook, a sardine in one hand, and looking maybe slightly apologetic.

But only slightly. He was standing there in a dress, after all.

"Uh, Professor Hook? I really don't think that I can smack Jason in the face with a fish."

Hook turned and twisted the end of his mustached in between his fingers.

"Does he keep moving out of the way?" he asked, amusing himself.

Zack allowed a little smile, indulging Hook's sense of humor for a moment.

"Trust me, that really wouldn't be much of a problem," he replied, shrugging. "It's more an honor-among-peers thing. I mean, how would you like it if I just walked up to you and casually slapped you across the face with a fish?"

... Just like he was about to attempt right now, like so, actually.

At least it was the sardine? Zack could probably kill somebody with one of the larger ones.

Hook raised his hook with malicious intent, the sardine having hit its mark.

He caught himself, however, and the arm lowered very deliberately to point right at Zack.

"Bad form, Zack. Very bad form," he said, his anger keeping to a low seethe. "I expected many different reactions, boy. I didn't expect anyone to be as stupid as to strike me. Perhaps some time in detention will give you a chance to consider the proper ways to question a teacher, let alone a captain."

Hey, Zack had been given detention before! He'd had to clean alligator guts off of things. No big deal.

"With all due respect," Zack said, even if it probably didn't mean all that much after he'd sardined the teacher, "getting us to hit one another wasn't exactly in great form, either."

A pause, and then a shrug as he held out the battered little fish towards Hook.

"But that? Was totally worth detention."

Ooooh yes.