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Library, Tuesday

Rinoa was having a wonderful morning, thank you very much. She'd had a lovely date, and now she was a girl again, and here she was in the library! What more could she ask for?

She was even going to try to be productive and get all of the reshelving done early. She had a romance novel to get back to, after all.

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She's cheerful, and she's here.

Squall sat down at a nearby reading table and glared at her. He didn't say anything, because he didn't have any right to say anything, and he didn't have any right to be angry, and he certainly didn't have the right to take out his anger (that he shouldn't have) on her, when it really ought to be directed at himself.

So he sat and glared.

Oh. Okay. That was sort of ... putting a damper on her mood, yes.

Which was stupid. She wasn't going to let him, and he didn't have the right, anyway, and so she was going to straighten her back and march right up to him like he was any other library patron that she totally didn't feel a bit like she betrayed even though that was ridiculous because hello, he made himself perfectly clear.

"Hi," she said, before deciding to go with a slightly more formal, "Can I help you?"

Edited 2010-10-20 02:03 (UTC)

Squall shrugged. And kept glaring. "No," he grunted. "I'm just sitting."

He was going to be OH SO MATURE about this whole thing, really!

Somehow, feeling guilty was making her angry at him. Projection? Misdirection? Who even knew?

"It's a library," she said coolly. "You should at least pretend you're here for books."

Was she sure it wasn't him being a major fucknugget that was making her angry?

Squall shrugged again. "I'm not," he spat at her. "Why pretend?"

Of course, he didn't know what he was here for, except that he was upset that Rinoa had a date last night. And he couldn't say that, because she had every right to go on dates. So he was just glaring. Glaring meant he didn't have to share his feelings.

"Why are you here, then?" she asked. "To talk to me? You don't seem to be talking."

He was totally being a fucknugget. And she should have told him ahead of time, instead of letting him hear it on the radio. In her defense, she'd worried that he would have followed all angry-stalker and killed the date. Which sort of felt like an excuse.

Look, there was enough fuck-uppery to go around for both of them, at this point.

Edited 2010-10-20 02:47 (UTC)

"I don't want to talk to you!" Squall asserted grumpily.

With more glaring.

She was right -- he didn't have a good reason to be here. But it was either this or break things, and he didn't want to have to explain broken things.

This was going nowhere, and fast. Rinoa sighed, then pulled out one of the chairs at the table he was at. Okay. Sitting down. Going to try to reason with Squall. If that wasn't a huge mistake.

"I should have told you," she admitted. There.

Yes, it was a huge mistake. Squall had already tried reasoning with himself, and he was still angry. He absolutely abhorred times when reason wasn't able to control his emotions.

He shifted from glaring at her to staring at the floor. "You didn't need to," he replied angrily. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

"No, I didn't," Rinoa said calmly. And she wasn't going to back down from that point, either. "I could have told you before it happened, but I didn't need to. You said I can date other people. And I don't need your permission for that, anyway."

Just getting all of that out there right now.

"I know that!" Squall growled, pounding on the table. "Do whatever you want!!! I don't care!!!"

It was entirely possible that he might be sending mixed messages.

"I will!" she snapped, her cool exterior failing her. "But we're going to have to deal with this sooner or later, and you know that!"

There was more at stake here than this whatever-it-was that kept flickering between them, or didn't he realize that!?

"There's nothing to deal with!!!" Squall shouted at her.

If she didn't BRING IT UP, then he could try to pretend nothing was wrong and maybe break a few things.

"You're my knight!" she shouted back.

Boy, the librarian was going to love all of this shouting!

"We have to be able to trust each other! And get past all of this mess! Or this won't work!"

"Are you saying you don't trust me, now?!?!" Squall demanded. "There isn't any mess!!!"

Boy, he had interesting delusions, didn't he?

No more shouting. Just folding her arms and narrowing her eyes.

"You're yelling," she snapped. "You're supposed to be my Knight. I need to be able to come to you with anything. If you can't handle that, then you shouldn't be my Knight."

Which was both true and entirely unfair of her, all at the same time.

"You can come to me with anything," Squall pouted. "And I'm not going to stop being your Knight."

"Not if you're going to yell at me," she insisted. "It'll lead to me not telling you things, just to make it all easier. Why even have a Knight at that point?"

Edited 2010-10-20 05:56 (UTC)

"Whatever," Squall huffed. "I'm going to protect you whether no matter what."

That, at least, was a feeling that was safe for him to express. And it was something that he was 100% sure of.

He stared sullenly at the table and idly traced a circle on it with his fingertip. "I'm not angry at you."

"No?" Rinoa said, raising an eyebrow. "You're doing a good impression of it, then."

"I'm NOT!!" Squall repeated, more forcefully this time. He was much more angry at himself than he was at her. Really, she needed to understand that.

"Whatever! I don't care!"

"You do," she said. "You're my Knight, and that means you need to be honest with me. Do you even understand that?"

Of course he understood what it meant to be her Knight! Did he think she didn't? And he was being as honest as he could be, under the circumstances.

He pounded on the table again. "I will protect you with my life," he declared. Especially, if the need arose, against the evil powers of Christian. It wasn't a grand gesture, just a statement of fact.

"I know," she said. She believed that. She was fairly certain that nothing would ever change that, either. "I believe you. I'd never question your willingness to stare down death for me."

Some small, dark part of Rinoa felt like it was unfair to know that and still move on with her life. He'd face death for her. But ... she had never asked that, of him, and he wouldn't love her.

When did her life get this complicated?

"But there's more involved than that," she said.

He would love her. He already did; he just refused to admit it to himself.

(What more is involved? What does it matter?)

"Whatever it takes," Squall answered definitively. "However difficult."

"It's what Edea was saying," she said gently. "You have to protect my spirit. It means all that emotional stuff you hate. Being supportive and listening and being close."

The stronger their bond, the less likely she'd be tempted by her own powers. And the more readily she could find her way back, if she was.

Damn. The hard stuff. The scary stuff.

He could still manage to get close to her without her getting close to him, right? Or the other way around? Whichever way meant he didn't have to share his feelings?

"I can do that," he declared. Even if he didn't know how. He was going to do it, so figuring it all out would just have to happen somehow. The details weren't important.

"Okay," Rinoa said, nodding once with a smile. "Then I trust you."

Was it that simple? Really?

"Good," Squall acknowledged with a nod.

Maybe it could be.

"No threatening him," she added. It seemed important to include, there.

Squall pouted a little. "I'm not going to threaten him," he grumbled. "Not unless he deserves it."

That didn't mean Squall had to be nice.

Who may or may not be cheerful, and may or may not be here.

I am sleepy and might nap zomg.

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Library, Tuesday

Talk to Rinoa

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Talk to the Librarian

OOC