fandomhigh | The Science of Deduction, Friday

When all the students had finished filing into class, they might notice a man sitting at the teacher's desk, busy on his mobile phone. Presumably, their esteemed teacher. Esteemed.

Yes.

"This is the Science of Deduction," he said, not looking up from whatever he was working on. For all they knew, it was a rousing game of Tetris. "If you're uncertain as to whether or not you belong here or if you are only in this class to make your parents leave you alone, the answer is no. The door is to your right. I'm sure we'd all appreciate you leave before you waste our time. I know I will."

There was a pause as he waited for anyone to take that offer. It was the kind thing to do, right?

"Let's begin with me saying that I'd rather not be teaching you," Sherlock said, closing the phone and placing it on the desk. Brutal honesty was always the best when dealing with teenagers. Really. "I have it on good authority that I'm not good at dealing with children or idiots. Both of which are in the room at the moment. Outside the classroom as well, but we're not focusing on that at the moment."

He shrugged because what could you do?

"My name is Sherlock Holmes and yes, I am already aware that I share a name and an alarming number of characteristics with a fellow from Victorian England. Any comments about it and you will be assisting me with my experiments. Always pleased to have live subjects for a change."

Oh, if only that was a lie.

"So, let's begin, shall we?"

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"Aw," Claudia said, full of mostly mock-sympathy. "I could try making you one out of scrap metal if you want."

Sherlock rolled his eyes before pausing. "Is there a mortuary on the island?"

"I really don't think so."

"Pity. I'll have to find one in Baltimore."

Claudia wasn't certain she wanted the answer to this question, but curiosity got the best of her.

"What exactly do you do with these skulls?"

"They're better listeners than most people."

"They don't have functioning ears."

"And they don't say inane things like that either," Sherlock pointed out.

"So you're saying the skulls say significant things to you, then?"

"Or that."

"So you prefer to talk to dead things . . . because they can't talk back.'

"And say stupid things." A beat. "I think this conversation has reaffirmed that."

Claudia would agree, though not one which one of them was saying stupid things. "The amazing thing is, you're still probably way better than the math teacher is." Though, really, it wasn't hard to be a better teacher than Professor Farnsworth.

"And you're still talking," Sherlock pointed out.

"You're apparently still listening."

"Talking." Because he was, as always, terribly mature and polite. "Do you actually think before spewing out words? It must be relaxing not to."

"Because you clearly deeply consider everything you say." Claudia was, well, fifteen. And not exactly well socialized.

And thus, Sherlock Holmes got into a catfight with a fifteen year old girl.

England would be so proud.

"I consider a great deal before I respond. It's simply faster than you can manage to keep up with."

"Says the guy who can't find information on people on the internet. Which for some of the class? Really only requires typing their names into Google."

"Yes, because the opinions of the anonymous outweigh any first hand observations," Sherlock replied. "My god, how did I not realize that Wikipedia has all the answers I may need to solve crimes? Thank you terribly for showing me the light. However did I survive without your wisdom?"

"Oh god, you think Wikipedia's the only source of information on the internet. No wonder you have to talk to skulls."

Claudia was so tempted to try to hack into this guy's official records when she got back to her room.

"Again, the inane noise. How often is it that you think?"

"Constantly," Claudia said cheerfully. "You?"

"You jump to the conclusion that I am unable to use the internet based off of what exactly?" Sherlock asked dryly. "Pointing out how a number of your classmates are from times or places where they do not have anything remotely like a computer--or a computer even compatible with what we use here. And therefore would not be in any records? So tell me again, how often do you think?"

Claudia sighed. "And a number of those have been here awhile, in a location that's based in the 21st century with infrastructure very compatible with what we use here. And you said you didn't think you could find information on any of us. Which, as I said, kind of sad."

Re: Introductions

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The Science of Deduction, Friday - 9/3

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