Speech Comm

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

301--Friendship

All righty, gang. Sit down and shut up. This week we're working on friendship and communication. Notice how this just keeps building upon itself.

Now you might think that family would be more important in communcation, but it really isn't. Friends are chosen. Therefore the communication used with them is more carefully chosen. The things you talk about, the ways you show to one another that each is important to the other [she turns to the board and writes RECIPROCITY] The ways in which there is reciprocal respect and action. It's amazing what we say when and to whom. Have you ever told a complete stranger somethign you would only tell a close friend after a long passage of time? It's the human condition to do that. Let's talk, we'll ease in. Intimacy, trust, and platonic friendships. Whatcha think?

Comments

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

I suppose there are things you can say to a complete stranger because you don't care what they think of you. Friends -- people whose opinions you respect -- you want to present yourself in the best possible way, so you hide things you think they might not like. Which isn't the best way to communicate.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Chip, are you telling me that a certain level of intimacy can actually hinder communication? I mean...why? Why do we do that?

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

Well, we were talking last week about mangled communication between family members, right? It's kind of like that. Since friends are the people you choose, they can also choose to leave you -- which they might do if they see something they don't like. So you try to put yourself in the best possible light, until you know them and they know you well enough to know that even if they saw you at your worst, they're still your friends.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

So we would lie to avoid conflict...even with a person we supposedly trust implicitly?

[wannabelawyer.livejournal.com]

Much as it hurts me to admit this, Harkness is right.

You do hide things from your friends that you can tell strangers. Because the strangers don't matter but the friends do.