Speech Comm

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

301--Friendship

All righty, gang. Sit down and shut up. This week we're working on friendship and communication. Notice how this just keeps building upon itself.

Now you might think that family would be more important in communcation, but it really isn't. Friends are chosen. Therefore the communication used with them is more carefully chosen. The things you talk about, the ways you show to one another that each is important to the other [she turns to the board and writes RECIPROCITY] The ways in which there is reciprocal respect and action. It's amazing what we say when and to whom. Have you ever told a complete stranger somethign you would only tell a close friend after a long passage of time? It's the human condition to do that. Let's talk, we'll ease in. Intimacy, trust, and platonic friendships. Whatcha think?

Comments

Before Class

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Veronica makes it a point to get to class a little early. She wants a moment to talk to Professor Cregg about what happened on Saturday.

"Professor, do you have a minute?" she says.

Re: Before Class

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Of course, Veronica? Are you ok? I'm so sorry about Saturday...I should have thought...

Re: Before Class

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Veronica gives her a small smile.

"I'm okay and I wanted to thank you for your concern and apologize for disrupting things. I... well...," she sighs, unsure of what the professor knows already and what she wants her to know.

After a moment's hesitation, she finally says, "Did you ever hear anything about Aaron Echolls being charged for murder?"

Re: Before Class

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

No, that doesn't sound familiar...[she looks deeply concerned]

Re: Before Class

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Veronica takes a deep breath. On one hand, not knowing anything means the prof won't have preconceived notions. On the other, it means Veronica has to explain more.

"Well, to make a long story short, Aaron Echolls murdered my best friend, Lilly Kane, and then tried to kill me when I found incriminating evidence."

She pauses and takes another deep breath before continuing.

"He locked me in a freezer, poured gasoline all over it and set it on fire," she says, blinking back a few stray tears. "That's why I kind of freaked out on Saturday."

Re: Before Class

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

You told me had done that to you...but I didn't realize he'd killed anyone. Wait, Lilly Kane? The Homecoming coordinator? [her brows furrow and she shakes her head slightly]

...Veronica. Your reaction on Saturday was entirely understandable and there is absolutely nothing you need to feel you have to apologize for. It's good to talk about it...claim it, then destroy it. [She puts a hand on Veronica's arm] You are so strong, Veronica. I'm proud of you. Thank you for telling me.

Re: Before Class

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"Thanks for listening and being so caring. I... usually have a handle on it, but sometimes I just... well..." she shrugs, not exactly sure how to express herself, but grateful for the opportunity to discuss her feelings with an adult that won't completely wig out about them.

[http://users.livejournal.com/sydney_bristow_/]

Sydney came in and took a seat. "Sorry for my absence, I had a doctor's appointment." she told CJ quietly.

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

I suppose there are things you can say to a complete stranger because you don't care what they think of you. Friends -- people whose opinions you respect -- you want to present yourself in the best possible way, so you hide things you think they might not like. Which isn't the best way to communicate.

Re: Before Class

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

I understand, Veronica. More than you might think. You can talk to me anytime you need.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

It's fine, Sydney. Everything coming along ok?

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Chip, are you telling me that a certain level of intimacy can actually hinder communication? I mean...why? Why do we do that?

Re: Before Class

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," she says with a shy grin before taking her seat for class.

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

Well, we were talking last week about mangled communication between family members, right? It's kind of like that. Since friends are the people you choose, they can also choose to leave you -- which they might do if they see something they don't like. So you try to put yourself in the best possible light, until you know them and they know you well enough to know that even if they saw you at your worst, they're still your friends.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Veronica thinks about all the things she could say, but settles on, "Sometimes it's easier to tell a complete stranger something meaningful because they don't have any preconceived notions about the kind of person you are."

[absolutesnark]

"I agree. And sometimes, the stranger you tell something meanful to even ends up becoming a good friend you can trust." Piper glances at Veronica when she mentions the word friend.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Veronica smiles in response to Piper's glance.

"Hey, how's it going?" she whispers.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Right, Veronica. There is no attached pathos...it's just open. additionally, there may be the layer that you'll never see them again, removing repercussions of the truth.

Tell me about emotion and how it can be a help or a hindrence in a friendship.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"Well, I think sometimes you let your emotions get in the way of seeing the bigger picture when it comes to... people you care about. But if you didn't... care about anyone... well... maybe the bigger picture wouldn't matter as much."

She knows she's being cryptic, but there are just some things she can't talk about.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"It's easier to say things to stranger because first of all, you don't care what they think of you, usually. They won't be around to judge you later, either," Rory says, sliding into a seat.

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

*Elizabeth slips quietly into the classroom, placing a coffee on CJ's desk. Her hands wrap tightly around her own; it's not her first of the day. She looks Tired*

*when she speaks, her voice is quiet*

A true friend is past trust, is past intimacy and is something else. She is one who knows you as well as you know yourself, and sometimes even better. She's the one who, as cliched as it may be, will catch you no matter how hard you're falling.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

So we would lie to avoid conflict...even with a person we supposedly trust implicitly?

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Why might friends be judgemental, Rory?

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Because they know you. And they care about you. So they're more likely to point out if you're acting in a way that's harmful to yourself."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

You are wise beyond your years, E. A friendship like that is to be treasured and takes a lot of time, trust, and commitment. [She smiles gently] And a cliche is a cliche because it's true.