fandomhigh | First Aid - Danger Shop, Friday, Period 5 [Week 3]

The Danger Shop was not a disaster zone this week. In fact, it looked a lot like Serenity Cove's beach, littered with people swimming and sunbathing and picnicking.

"Ladies, gentlemen," Hawkeye greeted, arms spread wide. "And anyone who doesn't fit into the first two categories. I'd mention you all specifically, but we have work to do. And by work, I mean that your dates await you."

In a line propped up against a log were CPR dummies, each one with unique features. The dummies themselves were identical, but they each wore a different shirt (or dress in some cases), they had ill-fitting wigs, facial hair, beauty spots and other ~~completely moddable~~ defining features. Doris, Eunice, Edna, Geraldine, Adele, Ferb, Roland, Edgar, Milton, Hubert and Earnest were available for you to choose from.

"I solemnly swear that we'll look at as many of the things you brought up last week as we can - even the lizard claws, Momoko - but there's something you need to know before any of that. People need to breathe and they need their heart to keep pumping, or anything else you do will be useless. I'm going to show you an emergency procedure called cardiopulmonary resuscitation or CPR." He demonstrated on his own dummy, Margaret, how to assess the casualty, clear the airway, create circulation and perform mouth-to-mouth.

"Now go, choose your date and show them a good time. The Danger Shop is set up to make your date fall on his or her side and start turning blue when there's a problem. You're going to have to perform CPR. In the meantime, enjoy yourselves. In half an hour, you're welcome to come and join me under the umbrella over there if you want to learn about some of the technology doctors use to help things along these days."

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A furry blue Kurt was dragged toward Karla by the strange man handcuffed to his wrist. "Hello, Karla! You already know Kurt, of course, and we'd like to introduce you to Geraldine. Say hello, Geraldine!"

He ducked his head behind the dummy's and in a high-pitched voice added "Hello, Karla!"

Karla wasn't going to ask. Wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't.

"Pleasure to meet you, Geraldine," Karla said politely, never taking her eyes off of the strange male. "This is Adele, she thinks likewise. And you are...?"

Okay, so she asked. But it had been much more polite that what she'd originally thought (Hell hadn't even been used once), so it didn't count.

"Kurt," she said with a nod, switching her gaze back over to him. And then blinked. Several times. "That is you, right?"

That day with the cloak might be making a little more sense right now...

Kurt shrugged sheepishly at Karla and half-hid behind the strange man. "Ja," he mumbled. "I, uh... Ja."

"I'm Kurt's image inducer!" the man told Karla. "You can call me... Image Inducer. Inducerman? ...Imind? Mindy? ...You know what? Let's just go with 'Indy' for now, and I'll come up with something better later." He gave Kurt a big pat on the back. "Normally, I'd be strapped to this guy's wrist, projecting a socially-acceptable hologram in order to provide the fuzzy elf with some semblance of a normal life. Today, thanks to the magic of Fandom, we're trying a different approach." He pushed Kurt forward. "Say hello, Kurt!"

Kurt waved timidly.

"Pleased to meet you, Indy," Karla said with a grin. "And nice to see you again, Kurt--even if it is for the first time." She regarded Kurt steadily for a few moments. "Have I ever told you of my friends, Grezande and Elan? They're tigrekin. Their fur looks much like yours, except orange, with stripes. I hope someday they can visit me at school."

"Tiger-people?" Kurt asked. "Really?" Karla didn't SEEM to be running away from him...

"There's a Territory in Kaeleer called Tigrelan," Karla explained, giving Kurt a tentative smile. "That's where they make their home. I've never been, but I know it's far to the south. And they like very, very spicy foods."

One of the best things about being friends with Jaenelle? After meeting everyone she called friend, it was well-nigh impossible to be surprised by how someone looked.

"Well, so long as they're not SABERTOOTH tigers," Kurt joked, laughing nervously.

Of course, without Bobby or Kitty around there wasn't really anyone to get the joke, so he probably just ended up looking like a dork.

"There you go!" the image inducer told him, slapping him on the back again. "Bring out the old fuzzy blue charm!"

"..."

Karla really had nowhere to go with that. Not only was she unaware of any brotherhood of evil mutants, she didn't even have enough background know about the original creatures from whence he took his name.

"They had pretty regular teeth, from what I saw of them?" she tried.

Kurt grimaced. "No, it's... Uh... It's... Sorry. It was just a stupid joke." He shrugged. "Uh... so... really people who look like tigers? That's pretty cool, ja?"

Hey, he could always look at it this way: his joke fell flat exactly the same way it would have with the image inducer on, instead of handcuffed to him.

"Humor is largely contextual," Karla said with a sympathetic smile. "I miss a lot of things because I don't know why they're funny."

"Don't worry, the context for that one is pretty obscure," Kurt told her. "But if you want context for other jokes, the best cure is more television!!!"

First Aid - Danger Shop, Friday, Period 5 [Week 3]

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