(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/swedish_chef_/]

The Swedish Chef and Das Schnitzel walk into the cafeteria. They both look extremely pleased with themselves.

Ve-a hefe-a sumetheeng fery speceeel fur yuoo tudey! Nu zee fuud vun't meke-a yuoo seeng boot yuoo veell seeng unyveys!


Furst theengs furst, zee menoo fur tudey!

-Cheeseboorger, Cheeseboorger, Cheeseboorger

-French Freees

-Meelkshekes (Ledeees, zeey breeng ell zee buys tu zee yerd.)

-Ooneeun Reengs


Tudey iff yuoo sing me-a und Des Schneetzel a sung yuoo hefe-a zee chunce-a tu veen a deeeliciuus ceke-a und be-a crooned Keeng oor Qooeen ooff zee ceffetereea! Theenk ooff it es Emereecun Idul boot yuoo veen a ceke-a insteed ooff a short leefed mooseecel cereer.

Yuoo cun seeng in peurs, yuoo cun gu sulu boot yuoo moost geefe-a it ell yuoo gut! Oonly oone-a ect veell be-a peecked. Thees is yuoor chunce-a fur iternel glury! Bork Bork Bork!

Es a vey tu stert yuoo ooffff, Des Schneetzel und I veell seeng a sung. It is frum zee vunderffool doou, Sunny und Cher!

Das Schnitzel is now wearing a long, black wig. There are two microphones and a elevated stage in the cafeteria. Her and the Chef take their places.



Das Schintzel: They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow.
Chef: Vell I dun't knoo iff ell thet's trooe-a 'Coose-a yuoo gut me-a, und beby I gut yuoo.

Chef: Bebe-a
Both I got you babe I got you babe/I gut yuoo bebe-a I gut yuoo bebe-a

Das: They say our love won't pay the rent. Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
Chef: I gooess thet's su, ve-a dun't hefe-a a put. Boot et leest I'm soore-a ooff ell zee theengs ve-a gut.

Chef: Bebe-a
Both I got you babe I got you babe/I gut yuoo bebe-a I gut yuoo bebe-a

Chef: I gut flooers in zee spreeng. I gut yuoo tu veer my reeng.
Das: And when I'm sad, you're a clown. And if I get scared, you're always around. So let them say your hair's too long. 'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong
Chef: Zeen poot yuoor leettle-a hund in meene-a Zeere-a eeen't nu heell oor muoonteeen ve-a cun't cleemb.

Chef: Bebe-a
Both I got you babe I got you babe/I gut yuoo bebe-a I gut yuoo bebe-a

Chef: I gut yuoo tu huld my hund.
Das: I got you to understand.
Chef: I gut yuoo tu velk veet me-a.
Das: I got you to talk with me.
Chef: I gut yuoo tu keess guudneeght.
Das: I got you to hold me tight.
Chef: I gut yuoo, I vun't let gu.
Das: I got you to love me so.


I gut yuoo bebe-a
I gut yuoo bebe-a
I gut yuoo bebe-a
I gut yuoo bebe-aaaaaaaaaaaaaa



I veell unnuoonce-a zee veenner tumurroo. Guud loock leettle-a oones! Mey zee best mun oor vumun veen! Bork Bork Bork!

((I started two threads, one for people competing and another for people who just want the cafeteria food...yeah, like that'll happen.))

Comments

Compete

[http://users.livejournal.com/swedish_chef_/]

Go ahead, sing your little hearts out.

Re: Compete

[wraithbaitjohn.livejournal.com]

[managing to be the coolest geek on campus, Shep ambles into the cafeteria - as much as one can amble on crutches - and begins to air guitar, while his iPod can be heard through his headphones by anyone within ten feet or so...]

GREEN DAY LYRICS

"American Idiot"

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mind fuck America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alienation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue...


And can I get a cheeseburger (no onions, extra pickles), fries and a chocolate shake (with a cap, 'cause carrying this stuff on crutches is a bitch)?

Re: Compete

[http://users.livejournal.com/swedish_chef_/]

"Vunderffool! Here's yuoor fuud yuoong creeppled mun! Bork Bork Bork!"

Re: Compete

[wraithbaitjohn.livejournal.com]

[gives the Chef a smirk as he takes his food]

Sure, sure, pick on the handicapped. ;)

Re: Compete

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova ventures into the cafeteria and hears the rather intriguing offer. Sipping her milkshake, she ponders her own choice of song. Slurping the remnants loudly, she takes the now-vacated stage, thinking on her recruitment by Camulus the other day. She clears her throat and begins to sing.

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt"

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
"O lad I don't know where you been - but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize!"

Ivanova, still smirking, wanders off towards class.

[[Sonny and Cher. I am dead. You kill me.]]

Re: Compete

[wraithbaitjohn.livejournal.com]

[From his seat on the side of the cafeteria, Shep applauds, not only because the song is an old favorite (though he was careful about who he played it around at 'home') but also because it meant he wasn't the only one playing in the silly competition.]

Brava Ivanova!