fandomhigh | Practical Crisis Problem Solving - Danger Shop, Tuesday, Period 3 (11am-12pm)

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Practical Crisis Problem Solving - Danger Shop, Tuesday, Period 3 (11am-12pm)

Upon walking through the doors of the Danger Shop, it was completely understandable if the fine students of Practical Crisis Problem Solving (which the Doctor preferred to call "Staying Out of Trouble Badly") were very confused. They were in the park. Yes, the park, the one in Fandom just outside and down the road. Fandom all around them looked normal, at least as far as the beach. Then the water and everything beyond it was all hazy. The sky was an odd shade of red too.

"Hello!" the Doctor said, looking very smart in his tweed jacket and bow tie. There were other clothes too (including pants), but those were the two articles worth mentioning. "I'm the Doctor. You are all in Staying Out of Trouble Badly." See, with the calling the class the wrong name. "Which might be on your little schedule spreadsheets as something to do with problem solving. If you're not supposed to be here," he added with a smile, "stay anyway. Have some fun. Today we're going to get the creative juices flowing." He frowned. "No, I don't like the sound of that. It sounds too...moist. Doesn't matter." He switched back on track. "You might be wondering why the sky is red. Or orange. Burnt sienna? Would we call it that? Maybe Sinopia instead. The colour, not the planet. I had a point somewhere.

The sky. Yes. The sky is red because the entire island," he turned around in a circle and pointed in every direction for emphasis, "is surrounded by a shield. You can't penetrate it and you can't transport out of it, sorry if that's your thing. The reason for this a species called the Atraxi have tracked a criminal here to the very pretty Fandom Island. Prisoner Zero is its name. If Prisoner Zero doesn't give itself up in an hour, the Atraxi are going to incinerate everything and everyone inside the shield. They don't do things by halves.

I don't expect you to find Prisoner Zero today, but before the hour is up, each of you is to come up with a plan. Brainstorm. That's what we're here for today. Brainstorm a plan. Talk to me. Talk to each other. Let's get some ideas on how to find Prisoner Zero, stop the Atraxi from burning us all to a crisp and save Fandom. Your name might be useful too, if you don't mind telling me it. Oh, and if you do have higher brain function and can understand what I'm saying, please raise your hand so I can identify anyone who doesn't and can't."

[Roster, Class Details & Syllabus]

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"So, we've basically been forced into doing a manhunt for evil aliens," Peter said, tacking on that bit of judgmentalness all on his own. "Which means they don't even know what they're looking for. Implying that either prisoner zero looks just like any other person or, you know, has chameleon powers and is secretly looking like a rock somewhere."

Peter paused. "Or the evil alien fuzz are just really lazy and like vaporizing things." He wasn't being so helpful with his thoughts yet.

"So my idea involves getting all the telepaths in town, promise them dinner at a restaurant or something for their help, and get them to walk around looking for particularly prisoner-like thoughts so we can locate him or her."

The Doctor listened with care, finding himself liking Peter every time he opened his mouth because he made all the right logical moves. Once Peter was done, the Doctor asked a very important question.

"Did you bring a screwdriver?"

Peter produced the swiss army knife from his pocket. "And if I need a corkscrew, I have that too," he joked.

"Why do I have the feeling this class scenario actually happened?" he asked, curious.

The Doctor looked very pleased at his screwdriver advice being followed. "Because it's incredibly detailed and I'm incredibly mysterious. No screwdrivers or corkscrews needed today, though that's another good thing to have on hand. You're indispensable at parties if you have a corkscrew. But Atraxi! While they do like vaporising things, they're not lazy. They did come halfway across the galaxy to find Prisoner Zero, after all, so let's give them that. Let's assume you're right about Prisoner Zero's appearance. How do you find something that can look like anyone or anything?"

It really was incredibly detailed, and the Doctor definitely was mysterious. Amusingly enough, dealing with shapeshifters was a skill he'd actually need in the future, thirteen years or so down the line.

"That's a very good question," Peter said. "Given that it's an alien, I'm going to go with... look for something that isn't acting right. If they're not from the planet, they can probably mimic appearances no problem, but behavior is something you have to observe and adopt over time."

"There's less an hour left. The theory is sound, but are you sure, are you absolutely positive you can spot someone who's not from this planet?"

Peter thought for a moment, and then made a face that sadly seemed to admit defeat.

"On this island, I could probably find a few. The chances of them being Prisoner Zero are pretty slim, though," he said. "We have a more diverse population than most."

"Than most of Earth, maybe, but appearance-wise this is tame compared to most places. It makes up for it with being a multiversal nexus in time-space that shouldn't exist. So!" He clapped his hands together. "Back to your original train of thought, which was a good one if I might congratulate you on that, Prisoner Zero looks like people. But - and you were right again, good work - while appearance can be mimicked, behaviour is harder to get right. Let's assume that Prisoner Zero has been living among us for the last week. How would you find him in the allotted amount of time? Hypotheticals here, the world's not going to end today. Not during this class period anyway." He had to add another edit to what he was saying and folded his arms across his chest as he did. "Not because of me."

Peter raised an eyebrow and that last bit. He'd have to ask, down the line, if worlds often ended because of his instructor.

"Well, if we have a short amount of time, we can't, say, take inventory of everything that should be here and figure out what's in excess," Peter said. "And the telepathic search party idea is probably impractical and again would take too long."

He thought for a moment, really trying to wrap his head around the problem.

"So... you stall for time," Peter said. "You try to get the Atraxi to listen to reason or at the very least distract them long enough that you have enough time to scour the island."

"How would you go about that? They're not listening to conventional diplomacy."

"Well, it's like being stuck in check," Peter said. "You've only got a limited time to find the one move that gets you out of the situation, or instead you knock over the board and challenge your opponent to a game of poker. So you bluff, and you bluff big. Threaten interdimensional ramifications and higher authorities and jurisdiction claims."

"You'd better know what you're talking about, otherwise it's like trying to quote the law at a police officer when you don't actually know the law. But you do have certain things on your side," he nudged Peter in the right direction. "Fandom is a unique place."

Peter was rather grasping at straws, now. He was out of his comfort zone, dealing with aliens. He wasn't sure how it all worked.

"So really, the key is finding someone here who can argue with alien police. Someone with the know-how."

"Exactly. You're surrounded by people and beings from all walks of life. The past, the present, the future, alternate realities, places of swords and sorcery, of magic, of technology so advanced it seems like magic. You can only use the resources you have, but Fandom has plenty of those. Think about it. Beyond self-preservation, what's the reason for stopping the Atraxi?"

"Because this place is unique amongst universes," Peter said. "And unique things deserve preservation, especially when threatened as only collateral damage and not the real target."

"You have your approach. The Atraxi may be misguided in their attempts to recapture their prisoner, but they're essentially prison guards and police officers, trying to uphold the law and justice system. Unless you knew galactic criminal law, you couldn't swindle them that way, but chances are very high that they don't know much about environmental law."

"Point," Peter said. "So we bluff big. Talk about interdimensional preservation statutes, the endangered realities act of 3076, and how if they melt this island it could cause a chain reaction down dimensions, altering the very fabric of all realities."

He was getting quite enthused. The Doctor seemingly had the ability to encourage the best out of Peter.

The Doctor had a feeling he'd like Peter and he was only too happy to encourage him. "If I didn't know you were completely making that up, you'd convince me for long enough to think twice and at least get someone to go and look it up."

"Which buys us precious time to find Prisoner Zero," Peter said. "Both in finding the person acting odd or the telepathic search party options."

"Combine this with the plans of some of your classmates and we might even make it out of this one alive!" He seemed impressed.

"So the real lesson here is," Peter said. "That a threat to the island is no match for the combined ingenuity of its inhabitants. As long as we work together."

"If that's what you want to take away from it."

"Well it's that, plus avoid Atraxi at all costs," Peter joked.

"Probably for the best," the Doctor agreed. "Other things that spring to mind are 'if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything' which isn't exactly true, but close enough and works for inspirational and motivational purposes; brainstorming is an excellent way of getting around impending doom and just because the aliens threatening to kill you have superior technology doesn't mean they necessarily have the upper hand. I'm going to go and talk to the next person now."

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Practical Crisis Problem Solving - Danger Shop, Tuesday, Period 3 (11am-12pm)

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