fandomhigh | First Aid - Danger Shop, Friday, Period 5 [Week 2]

The Danger Shop was not a disaster zone this week. In fact, it looked a lot like Serenity Cove's beach, littered with people swimming and sunbathing and picnicking.

"Ladies, gentlemen," Hawkeye greeted, arms spread wide. "And anyone who doesn't fit into the first two categories. I'd mention you all specifically, but we have work to do. And by work, I mean that your dates await you."

In a line propped up against a log were CPR dummies, each one with unique features. The dummies themselves were identical, but they each wore a different shirt (or dress in some cases), they had ill-fitting wigs, facial hair, beauty spots and other ~~completely moddable~~ defining features.

Bob, Hank, Arthur, Rick, Harry, Eugene, Ralph, Fred, Herb, Melvin, Herman, Clyde, Geraldine, Margaret (Hawkeye had a soft spot for that one), Myrtle, Wilma, Maxine, Vera, Stella and Peggy were there for you to choose from.

"Before you kids get off on the right foot with your blind dates, we're going to have a little demonstration." Hawkeye showed the class, using Margaret, how to perform CPR, including assessing the the casualty, clearing the airway, creating circulation and performing mouth-to-mouth.

"Now go and enjoy your dates." He checked his watch. "Ten minutes in your date is going to have a little problem and you're going to have to perform CPR. No reason you can't have a little fun beforehand, but stay away from the guy selling bananas on a stick. I didn't program him in and the bananas, while delicious and not real, stick with you."

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Hang out with your 'date' and enjoy the beach scene. Five minutes in - gasp! - your date collapses and you have to perform CPR! Of course, after that, if you ditch your date and perform other mouth-to-mouth on each other, Hawkeye's not going to mind.

Alex didn't think he'd ever date someone named Wilma but he tried to look appropriately distressed when she collapsed and he started performing CPR. The hand placement tripped him up once but he righted himself quickly enough when things got a bit clearer in his head.

"So, Myrtle, I should probably tell you I have a girlfriend," Hiccup was saying, more than capable of supplying both sides of the conversation. "No, no, don't cry. I know I'm an irresistible specimen of Viking manliness, but you'll just have to get over me." He paused, as if listening. "You'll learn to love again, I promise." Looking around, he pointed at one of the other dummies. "Take Harry, there, for example." He nudged her with an elbow, then had to readjust her wig. "He can't keep his eyes off you."

Hiccup continued on in this vein for five minutes, and managed not to yelp in surprise when she collapsed.

Nonsense was tossed aside in favour of putting into practice what they'd been shown. He managed relatively well, hesitating only slightly before each stage to review what he was supposed to do.

Cara and Maxine leant against a rock, people watching.

When Maxine keeled over, Cara quickly knelt beside her. Clearing the airways was easy enough, and she'd watched the demonstration closely enough to get the compressions right. She had to go against force of habit to not just give her the Breath of Life during the mouth-to-mouth section though. Maxine being made of rubber helped somewhat.

Tara tried to make pleasant conversation with Peggy as they sat on the sand, but she felt too silly to continue after a few minutes of utter silence so she righted the dummy's wig and silently watched the waves.

Her CPR after Peggy collapsed was too tentative at first to save a real person, but she got the form and rhythm of it down fairly quickly.

"Yeah, so I don't really do dates," Denise informed her dummy. "They're lame. Right?"

Silence.

"Totally feeling you, Eugene," she decided, "You can be my wingman until you keel over and I need to get my mouth action right back in there."

More silence.

"No tongue, though," she pondered, "That would just be weird."

The dummy fell over. She sighed. "And now I really thought we were bonding here," she said, "C'mon, pucker up."

The dummy was kinda creeping Leda out, but she ignored that. They 'chatted' for a bit, and then Leda went into bad actor mode when Bob collapsed.

"Oh God, whatever shall I do? Are you okay. Are you okay. Help." Commence CPR. And she did rather well.

Geraldine wasn't exactly Emma's type, being inanimate and all, but whatever.

"So, darling, tell me about yourself," she drawled, and then promptly pulled out her sunglasses to lounge on the beach.

When Geraldine finally fell over, Emma sighed, sat up, put her glasses aside, and started by trying to wake her 'date,' briskly rubbing her knuckles against the Geraldine's sternum. Yeah, dummy, not waking up, so Emma started in on the rest of it. It was a thrilling start to her Friday.

Edited 2010-05-21 19:46 (UTC)

This time, Cassidy remembered that these were not real people, so she didn't use any of the healing craft she knew. When Arthur collapsed, she went through all of the steps that they had been taught, and then went about performing the CPR.

Being on a real date was awkward enough. Being on a date with a dummy named Vera was just creepy. Ellie felt silly making small talk with the dummy, so she just waited instead for it to fall over. Once it did, she started to perform CPR.

Sookie just felt strange talking to a dummy, though she tried valiantly for a moment or two, until Rick fell right over.

Her CPR efforts were pretty admirable, at least, even if they may not have saved a real person. She tried pretty hard, though, and was sure that she'd be able to manage it next time.

After his conversation with Hawkeye, Jono made his way back to spend quality time with the ever-lovely Stella.

Silently. And possibly slightly broody, while he was at it. He'd do what he could, but then he was going to have to spend all of that time worrying that 'what he could' wasn't nearly enough. If it ever came down to it somewhere outside of class, he supposed that he could toss out a psionic SOS and coach somebody through the breathing part. Maybe. He hoped.

And there went Stella, keeling over. Right. Clear the airway. Chest compressions.

Alice had tea at the beach, and was having a lively conversation with Melvin leading up to his untimely demise.

She was giving CPR a charitable go, though the results were dubious at best, and not only because Melvin was difficult to resuscitate.

Joolushko was enjoying the view of the beach and the company of Ralph. Or maybe just the view of the beach. Ralph really wasn't adding anything to the experience for the first five minutes or so, but at least he was inoffensive company. Inoffensive enough to be worth pretending to save at least.

So when Ralph collapsed in a not-so-shocking fashion, she set to work attempting to revive him.

"Damn it, Herman," Dandelion growled after two minutes of non-conversation. "We never talk any more. It's always the silent treatment with you. Never a kind word. Never a compliment. DAMN IT! I'm a woman with needs! Needs! Never once have you offered to take me to the workshop and use a lathe! Never!"

She pushed Herman in disgust and he fell over to the ground. "HERMAN! NO! I DIDN'T MEAN A WORD OF IT!"

She pounced on the dummy and began CPR in a feverish pitch. "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME HERMAN! THIS WEEKEND NORM ABRAMS IS DOING A GAZEBO ON THE NEW YANKEE WORKSHOP AND I WON'T WATCH IT ALONE DAMN YOU!"

Alas there was no pulse or breath coming from Herman after all the reps Dandelion did. She collapsed on top of the dummy in an exhausted heap. "I'm sorry Herman. But as God as my witness, they'll pay for what they did to you! You could have been somebody! You could have been a contender! I will wipe out the cosmos in a wave of destructive force for YOU. WILL! BE! AVEEEEEEENGED!"

That would be the point where she had her fists raised in the air in defiance. Yep. Defiance.

"Extra credit!" Hawkeye declared. "For enthusiasm and going above and beyond to save your date. Or there would be, if this was a real class with actual grades. I could substitute the extra credit for a Tootsie Pop instead if you'd prefer."

"Tootsie pops won't bring Herman back," Dandelion said sadly. "Nor songs. Or rainbows. Or pudding cups. Maybe defibrillators."

...

"What flavor?"

"Orange. Probably not defibrillators since Herman didn't have a heart to begin with."

First Aid - Danger Shop, Friday, Period 5 [Week 2]

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