Being Marooned: Not So Bad! [Thursday, May 13]

[capt-maxfactor.livejournal.com]

As was only fitting, Jack's class was meeting on the beach. He was waiting for them, hat perched atop his head, bottom perched atop a giant clothing trunk.

This would not end well.

"Hello, my young ruffians!" he said, standing up and doffing his hat before bowing extravagantly. "I am Captain--Captain--Jack Sparrow. You may call me Captain Jack Sparrow."

As you would.

"Some day you might find yourself the captain of your very own ship," he continued, "a beautiful ship, and fast, with lovely lines and the ability to outrace every dingy ever launched by the British crown. And then some blackhearted traitor will mutiny against you and send you to live on a miserable spit of land for no reason at all!"

Not that he was bitter. "So we will learn how to make the most of a bad situation, me hearties. But first you must be properly attired."

He pointed to the chest. "Inside you will find totally authentic"--it wasn't--"attire fit for your time in this class. Please change in the tents over there and report back to me in double quick time."

When the class returned (he hoped that someone had picked one of the nubile wench outfits), he pointed to the tiny ship anchored close to shore. "Now we have to start out authentically. You must all walk the plank." He waggled his eyebrows at them. "And please, do it with some style."

Comments

Walk the Plank!

[capt-maxfactor.livejournal.com]

But first give yourself a pirate name! If you don't, Jack will make one up for you, and pirates are terrible at naming things.

Re: Walk the Plank!

[anarchist-queen.livejournal.com]

Captain Florida of the Dread Pupae walked to the end of the plank, spun around, flipped off the imaginary mutineers, and cursed them horrifically in Elvish.

She didn't put any power into the curse but if she had...well let's just say there were actually worse fates than being a walking skeleton by moonlight.

Re: Walk the Plank!

[mania-endless.livejournal.com]

"First Mate....Cheesecake Elevator reporting for duty, sir!"

And then she jumped head first to the water.

"Can I do it again?"

Re: Walk the Plank!

[boho-to-be.livejournal.com]

"Christian's a terrible name for a pirate," Christian observed. "I'll be the Fearsome Rochester."

Jane Eyre was badass, yo.

He walked the plank calmly, surfacing sputtering water and trying very hard not to swear.

Re: Walk the Plank!

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

"Ye haven't seen the last of Kurt the Kobold!" Kurt declared, waving his plastic sword about dramatically. "ARRRRRRR!"

Then he jumped off the plank and completely failed to hit the water, instead disappearing in a puff of smoke.

When he popped back into existence on the shore, he waved and bowed.

Re: Walk the Plank!

[sexonyoursheets.livejournal.com]

'Noah Puckerman,' and any variations thereof, just was not a piratey name.

Thankfully, Puck was creative and picked his best friend's nautical-sounding name.

"Cap'n Finn, Scourge of the Hudson!" See? That was awesome. Even if he didn't know what a scourge was, but it sounded piratey.

So with that, he flung himself gracelessly off the plank and swam for shore.

Re: Walk the Plank!

[vanillajello]

Katherine the Terrible could walk the plank with style and poise. She even did a fairly graceful pirouette at the end before plunging into the water.

After which she was mostly just very glad to have chosen a costume with a short skirt, because she was sure any of the long ones would have been a complete bitch to swim in.

Re: Walk the Plank!

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

"The Damned Bruce," Bruce said simply before stepping off the plank. Look, if Deadpool was going to call him something similar for a full semester, he might as well get some mileage out of it now.

Re: Walk the Plank!

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen the Hand of Uquar thought all this was most ridiculous as she walked off the plank and swam to shore.