fandomhigh | Criminal Justice Class 12

[OOC: I committed suicide by laughter last night. Therefore, today's class has been written by the Ghost of Tick-mun. WoooooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOooo! I'm a ghooooOOOoooOOOooost! Class Info Link.]

Hello, class! Today we continue with the Real World Justice theme. Today we look at the Southwestern United States. You may have heard some stories about this.

You might find these stories hard to believe, but before you question anything, chums, just remember who the new mayor of Fandom Town is. Not all of the people out there are actually human.

This is the story of a very hungry coyote and a swift, flightless bird.

According to credit card statements, the coyote goes by the name of Wile. Reports state that he has been chasing a pretty darn unique breed of roadrunner with blue feathers that can run at extremely high speeds. Wile has resorted to technology, often purchasing products from the Acme company in attempts to catch this roadrunner. He hasn't even come close to succeeding.

Over the years, Wile has proven to be less than keen with his plans. He rolls boulders at the roadrunner and gets squished by them. He throws dynamite down and gets blown up himself. The number of times he has fallen off a cliff is undetermined, but it's a lot of times, chums! Sometimes these plans backfire on Wile through sheer bad luck. Other times, this roadrunner actively turns the situation around. He breaks universal laws by running through a solid mountain and taunting Wile to follow, which ends in a concussion. He purposely leads Wile off a cliff where the coyote will surely fall to major injury. And there have been several instances where the roadrunner ran Wile over in a truck, at least once when the coyote was held in place by glue (it's a wacky story).

If we treat the coyote and roadrunner as citizens - and since they have at least one credit card, one driver's license, and one university diploma between then, and were born in America, it is probably a fair treatment - we could apply the American legal system to their conflict. Keeping in mind that Wile has repeatedly attempted to murder the roadrunner over the years (and not out of simple hunger - if he were just hungry, he could theoretically buy food with his credit cards), and that the roadrunner has not only not pressed charges but also has reportedly mocked Wile openly and to his face as a challenge, the question is this:

Given that the coyote's attempts on the roadrunner's life have proven completely futile over the years and appears to be no realistic threat, and that the roadrunner apparently encourages these attempts, and that the roadrunner has gone so far as to hit a coyote that has been glued to the street with a truck, has the roadrunner crossed a line between self-defence and out-right assault?

[OOC: Remember: he has run over the incapacitated coyote with a truck. More than once! Road Runner is such a bastard! Anyway, idea ganked from a conversation between

rory__gilmore and myself.]

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"Really? He seemed like a nice enough guy during the zombie weekend. Almost a little too nice, though. It didn't seem normal."

Xander nods. "Well, yeah, he was, ah. Under the influence of some tampered food. It made him..." He forces out something that's not quite a lie. "A little nicer than usual."

"Egads! Bad food makes him that nice? Heh, good food probably makes him all evil and 'Grrr,' doesn't it?" Tick joked. No, really, it was a joke.

"I don't know. But I could buy him a steak dinner and see what happens," Logan jokes back.

"Vampire? Stake dinner? Ha! Good one, chum!"

"Okay, so this Journalism project. How can I help you lads?"

[OOC: Trying to speed this up a little. It's past 12:30 here and I have work tomorrow morning.]

"We need a teacher endorsement. Are you willing?" Logan asks.

"I suppose I could do it. It is an issue of rights, but I should tell you that I barely know Angelus at all so I'm not sure how helpful my endorsement would be."

"It's not just for Angelus," explains Logan. "We want to encourage the student body to be more accepting of all vampires."

"Well, everyone deserves a chance and should only be judged by their own actions. So, sure, I'll do it!"

"You're a great man," Logan says solemnly, offering his hand for a handshake.

Tick takes Logan's hand. His grip is a little mighty and could sting for a couple minutes. "Greatness is something that you can't achieve that easily. Someday, if History looks at me and deems me 'Great,' well, that's great. Right now I think I'm at 'Nifty' or maybe even 'Keen,' and that's great, too!"

Xander looks down at his hands, in less than perfect condition after last night's pub escapade, and hides them behind his back, offering his sincerest looking smile, instead. "Definitely nifty. Sir."

[OOC: Do you need anything else? A quote or anything, or is this conversation sufficient?]

[ooc - good question - the assignment only specified a teacher endorsement, but didn't give details. I'll ask Spider.]

[ooc - Just got an answer - yup, we do need some sort of statement that we can actually use on the promo material. Xander will leave you a voicemail, though (he's actually got an unrelated question for Tick too, that will give him a chance to spout off about truth, justice, and the hero-ly way, if he so desires) - we're good for calling the in-person thread closed, I think.]

[ooc - THANK YOU for running with this - I was in the middle of trying to answer Tick's comment - I'd already his post, even - when I got disconnected and could. not. reconnect. Until 4 freaking a.m.]

Criminal Justice Class 12

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