Criminal Justice Class 12

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

[OOC: I committed suicide by laughter last night. Therefore, today's class has been written by the Ghost of Tick-mun. WoooooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOooo! I'm a ghooooOOOoooOOOooost! Class Info Link.]

Hello, class! Today we continue with the Real World Justice theme. Today we look at the Southwestern United States. You may have heard some stories about this.

You might find these stories hard to believe, but before you question anything, chums, just remember who the new mayor of Fandom Town is. Not all of the people out there are actually human.

This is the story of a very hungry coyote and a swift, flightless bird.

According to credit card statements, the coyote goes by the name of Wile. Reports state that he has been chasing a pretty darn unique breed of roadrunner with blue feathers that can run at extremely high speeds. Wile has resorted to technology, often purchasing products from the Acme company in attempts to catch this roadrunner. He hasn't even come close to succeeding.

Over the years, Wile has proven to be less than keen with his plans. He rolls boulders at the roadrunner and gets squished by them. He throws dynamite down and gets blown up himself. The number of times he has fallen off a cliff is undetermined, but it's a lot of times, chums! Sometimes these plans backfire on Wile through sheer bad luck. Other times, this roadrunner actively turns the situation around. He breaks universal laws by running through a solid mountain and taunting Wile to follow, which ends in a concussion. He purposely leads Wile off a cliff where the coyote will surely fall to major injury. And there have been several instances where the roadrunner ran Wile over in a truck, at least once when the coyote was held in place by glue (it's a wacky story).

If we treat the coyote and roadrunner as citizens - and since they have at least one credit card, one driver's license, and one university diploma between then, and were born in America, it is probably a fair treatment - we could apply the American legal system to their conflict. Keeping in mind that Wile has repeatedly attempted to murder the roadrunner over the years (and not out of simple hunger - if he were just hungry, he could theoretically buy food with his credit cards), and that the roadrunner has not only not pressed charges but also has reportedly mocked Wile openly and to his face as a challenge, the question is this:

Given that the coyote's attempts on the roadrunner's life have proven completely futile over the years and appears to be no realistic threat, and that the roadrunner apparently encourages these attempts, and that the roadrunner has gone so far as to hit a coyote that has been glued to the street with a truck, has the roadrunner crossed a line between self-defence and out-right assault?

[OOC: Remember: he has run over the incapacitated coyote with a truck. More than once! Road Runner is such a bastard! Anyway, idea ganked from a conversation between rory__gilmore and myself.]

Comments

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

[OOC: I never said this class was easy. Or sane. I've never said either of those things.]

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Cameron is slightly confused as they're now discussing cartoons in class. Then again, he takes a look at the Tick and is reminded that he's in some sort of Who Framed Roger Rabbit movie situation. Maybe they'd need Toon Control to handle this.

"I think roadrunner did cross the line already. He should have gone to the police after the first failed attempt. It's not up to citizens to take justice in their own hands. Definitely not if the answer is to attack the attacker openly with the goal to hurt him. Roadrunner could have simply turned Wile in already and the whole situation would have been resolved ages ago."

Of course, that would make one lame cartoon.

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Good analysis, Cam! Truly, if this roadrunner cared about Justice, he would have help up a sign requesting assistance immediately!"

[crazyvampchick]

OOC: I nearly choked on my breakfast when I hit the punchline! OMG!

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

[OOC: Holy crap, I almost actually killed someone with laughter!]

[can_be_more]

Aeryn considers this. "The roadrunner- that's what it's called?- goes beyond self-defense, especially if he knows the coyote is of no real threat to him. He's just being malicious about it."

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Well done, Aeryn. The roadrunner appears to view Wile as a non-threat, so it's pretty good reasoning to think that he's just looking for an excuse!"

[fates_jaye]

Jaye likes that she can spend an entire class giggling about the subject matter. "I say we catch the roadrunner and hand it over to the Chef."

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

"I second her suggestion."

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

[OOC: IC response coming later, but for now...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

Tick makes a note to himself. It reads: "Idea for project. Talk to SAA."

[janet_fraiser]

Janet comes in, sits down, and then wishes she'd brought more coffee. She's going to need it to deal with this class. "My first question is this: Does either of them have a wild game hunting license? Because they're both breaking the law if they don't." Why they'd worry about hunting licenses, she doesn't know.

"Though when it comes to the question of the line between self-defense and assault, I think a lot of it depends on if the roadrunner believes his life will still be in danger if the coyote survives. I mean, it seems like the coyote's repeated attempts at homicide give the roadrunner a lot of leeway in the amount of force used."

"Oh, and I have a hat."

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Good work, Janet! Nice thinking outside the box!"

"I'm not sure that they count as wild game, though. At the very least, the coyote is domesticated. He has a fridge and stove and everything."

"And that's quite a snazzy hat! Well done!"

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory sits down with her collection of pens, and starts busily taking notes.


[ooc: First of all, that what you get for killing so many other people via laughter. And secondly - hee!!!]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

[OOC: You saw what I did to kill myself. I suspect many more will die because of it.

Oh, and wooooOOOOoooOOOOOooo!]

[phases-of-kitty.livejournal.com]

::Lockheed flies to the top of a cabinet in the corner and drapes himself on the top of it to sleep.::

Kitty tries to hide a smile at the question. "It sounds like they're involved in an abusive relationship," Kitty says. "I'd suggest getting them together for counseling."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory smiles at this, reminded of something the Dean had mentioned, and makes a note.

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Egads, now that's some creative problem solving? Looking for the root of the problem! Well done, Kitty!"

Tick looks up at Lockheed. "Sorry, chum, but there's no sleeping in class."

[actingltcrumpet.livejournal.com]

If this is Real World Justice, Archie is seriously beginning to wonder if he's real. "I have to agree with Aeryn. This roadrunner sounds as though he's crossed the line from self-defense, past assault and into pure maliciousness."

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Good analysis, Archie!" Tick looked at Archie with concern. "Are you okay? You look a little headachey."

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

That's just ridiculous! I mean obviously this coyote is completely incompetent and no real threat. So why is the roadrunner tormenting him? I mean, I don't see what he could possibly gain from it but malicious pleasure in torturing the poor idiot.

And that's definitely wrong.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

[ooc: Me too! And freakin' Tweety! They never show any remorse over having hurt their respective nemeses!]

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

[Can you come to Arizona and be my Criminal Justice teacher? Please? You're so much more awesome than Mr. Wilson.

Timing is very vital when it comes to self-defense. The fact that the coyote was helpless in the path of the truck severely hinders and possibly discounts a plea or claim of self-defense. The roadrunner could claim provocation based on a history of physical abuse from the coyote but the chances of a favoring verdict drop dramatically when the case involves a felony offense.

If the roadrunner planned on hitting the coyote, if he took the keys with the intention of running him over then that is attempted first degree murder. If he was just out driving and hit the coyote it would be considered attempted manslaughter with a wreckless driving charge and the punishment would be much less severe.]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

[OOC: I have to say how awesome it is that people can learn something about Criminal Justice in my class, even if they have to read the comments to do so. Thanks for sharing the knowledge!]

[fh_jackass]

[ooc: Can Xander and Logan talk to Prof. The Tick "after class" about something?]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

[OOC: Sure thing. Tick never turns away students with questions. Unless those questions will surely lead to Evil, at least.]

After Class

[fh_jackass]

Logan knocks on the doorframe. "Hey, Professor? Can we talk to you about something?"

Re: After Class

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Why, of course! Logan, right? Rory's friend?"