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people suck except when they don't | thursday | period 2 | january 7

Perpetual lazy ass or not, Loki made damn sure not to be late for his first day of class. Wouldn't want the students they could push him around now even if it was the first class and destined to be a little easier than most other classes.

When the students piled in, Loki was leaning against the desk at the front of room, looking as smug as ever. Once they'd settled, he pushed away from the desk and started talking.

"Welcome to class." See, he was polite? Fuck you, Metatron, he was plenty polite. "I'm Loki and I think some of you have had me before. If you haven't, well, all the better for you, right? If you don't already know, this is People Suck Except When They Don't and if you don't already fucking know that, it's a damn good thing you're here, isn't it?"

It was meant to be a pep talk but with the way Loki tended to talk, it sounded more like an order peppered with curse words. "Now, this first week is always fucking easy, right? We all get to know each other and shit like that. I'm not going to deviate from that template because I wouldn't want to fuck with your heads too much. Brief overview of the class, though. Here, we're going to learn how to deal with all types of people. Your boyfriend or girlfriend, your lover, your other teachers, your parents, authority figures, the annoying fucker on the bus who smells, the person who won't stop staring at you and everything in between. If you don't think I'm qualified for that well, then you're fucking wrong. I've been around for a fucking long time. Ask anyone in here that knows.

He was pretty sure there were a few people in here who knew what he actually was. If he got motivated, maybe he'd even tell people. "But, we'll get to that. For now, introductions. Tell me your name, age, and then label yourself. Yes, label yourself. For instance, I'd be Loki, I'm a lot fucking older than all of you and I'm a smug motherfucker. Easy, right? Oh, and I'll be randomly choosing two of you during this to be my TA's. Better make 'em good. Now, it's your turn. Go."

[Class roster and syllabus | OCD is up!]

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"Aww, poor you," Loki said, pulling an exaggerated frown. "Angel of Death. Hi, nice to meet you. Come back and talk to me after you've seen some of the shit I've seen. Your town sounds like fucking paradise."

Jason quirked a brow. "Angel of Death, huh. Man, I'm supposed to believe that?" Thing was, Jason wasn't quite sure what the Angel of Death was. He guessed like... a reaper or some shit. Like in that Christmas movie.

Loki smiled at Jason before stepping back away from his desk. He was glad to show Jason just what an Angel of Death was. Well, he couldn't go killing anyone but he could show him the wings.

That was easy enough to do. Step back, hands spread and letting a pristine set of white wings emerge from his back. Where there was nothing but his back and sweatshirt before, now spread a pair of white wings.

"How's that?"

Okay. His mouth fell open at that neat trick, and while he might want to get his ass up out of his chair and get a hands on in your face belief thing going, his body was frozen near solid.

"Ain't they supposed to be black?"

"You watch too much television," Loki said, stepping closer and giving Jason's hair a light ruffle. "And while I can't really kill anyone here, I'd suggest you take my word. I've done it enough in my lifetime."

"Hey," he said, waving his hand at his hair. Okay, they were pretty fucking real, so yeah, he was a believer. "How do ya do it?"

"I just do it," he said, shaking his head. "God gave me the wings, kid. There's no instruction manual for 'em. You can't buy a pair or grow a pair. I'm a fucking angel. That makes me special. And if I were you, I'd be afraid of me."

Well, not this incarnation of him.

Jason rolled his eyes. "I'm not that fuckin' stupid. I can see how myself. I meant how do ya kill people? They get to see ya and shit? 'Cause if I were to witness the wings before I died, hell, I'd think I was goin' to heaven. White jest ain't representin' death, ya know?"

"Flaming sword," he answered easily. "It's a lot more elegant than just letting people see me. And why the fuck would I want black wings so people know the fucking Angel of Death is coming? Wouldn't that be a shit thing? God's not stupid either, Jason."

"People might have them confess-shuns and shit to manage before they're axed. I don't know," he shrugged, "but I'm jest assumin' on behalf of the people ya might kill in the future."

Hello, Jason's brain.

"Can I see that flamin' sword? 'Cause man, that sounds fuckin' awesome."

"They don't confess to me," he said, shaking his head. "And no. I can't bring the fucking thing to class."

Also, he didn't have it anymore.

Jason kept quiet for a moment, thinking about Loki. He was going to forget the sword for the time being.

"Can ya do favors and shit for people?"

"I'm not a fucking genie, Jason," Loki said, letting those wings disappear again. "What kind of favor were you looking for?"

Edited 2010-01-07 17:38 (UTC)

"I wasn't thinkin' ya were," he commented low, feeling chastised. Shifting a bit in his chair, he said what he was thinking: "Can ya kill vampires?"

"Yes, but I think anyone can do that," he said, shrugging. "It's just a matter of knowing how to kill them. And not becoming fucking dinner in the process."

"Sure. I can kill the fuckers. It's jest illegal in Bon Temps and... well, my sister and Gran are there while I'm here. Ain't no one there to keep 'em safe." 'Course, Jason wasn't entirely aware of Bill yet either.

"Unfortunately, I can't do anything about that," Loki said, sounding apologetic at least. He wasn't that big a fan of vampires either. "It's illegal to kill vampires?"

"They're legal citizens," he replied with disgust lacing his tone. "And they ain't supposed to feed off of humans but I know they fuckin' do. It ain't right. I'd kill every last one of 'em if I could."

Jason didn't think it was important to mention that he's never actually killed a vampire before. Nor the fact that he got high off of their blood.

"Man, this fucking world," he said, shooting a glance skyward before shaking his head. "Family won't move?"

Jason sighed. "Bon Temps is home. Doesn't fuckin' matter if they did move. The blood suckers are legal every-goddamn-where."

Looking back at Loki, he asked: "Why would someone like you be teachin' a bunch of kids?"

"I'm on vacation." It was sort of true. It was just a long fucking vacation. "And God's not as vengeful as He was once upon a time. Not as much need for killing. I still do it, just not every fucking day."

And he just used guns or what have you now.

"I can think of a better way to spend my vacayshun, but if you're likin' it here, that's awesome. Even more so for those that get to take your class," he said, laughing. "Probably the easiest fuckin' A I'll ever get."

"Let's hope so." Yeah, it was so an easy A. "Welcome to the class, Jason."

"Thanks, Loki."

Best class ever.

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people suck except when they don't | thursday | period 2 | january 7

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