Fandom vs. The Real World- 2nd Period- Class #14

[can_be_more]

When the students came in to class today, they'd find the room completely decked out in Christmas decorations, complete with a tree and wreaths and all that stuff you'd find littering six aisles of your local Wal-Mart between August and December. Yes, Aeryn had made Fosse do most of it.

"This week, we're going to talk about Christmas," Aeryn began. "There are many holidays around this time, and while I don't wish to make anyone think they're any less important, Christmas is the holiday that will get jammed down your throats until you're filled with cheer and goodwill, and I don't even know. Christmas is celebrating the birth of a baby god named Jesus in December- depending on who you listen to- who was born in a barn to a woman who had never had sex. From what I've gathered, she was supposed to be human, and not a self-reproducing species. Then he would grow up and die, and then we would have Easter, which is an entirely different class because I have yet to find the meaning of the bunny.

"Meanwhile there is Santa Claus, who is a morbidly obese old man in a red suit who rides in a sleigh driven by reindeer- one of which may be slightly radioactive- around the sky. He helps celebrate the birth of the baby god. Somehow. He defies physics and the laws of time by traveling all over the world and dropping down chimneys in a blatant yet somehow allowable act of breaking and entering, and leaves presents for good girls and boys under the tree. Bad girls and boys get coal. I personally think this will only serve to make them worse girls and boys. There is also the issue of what happens when the children live in an apartment, or someplace where chimneys aren't common. Oh, and you're supposed to leave cookies and milk for Santa, as an offering. This is how he became morbidly obese, I think. He also does work before Christmas, by sitting in malls and letting children sit on his lap to tell him what they want, so he can prepare. Sometimes, if they can't get to him, they write letters. And in addition to all of this, the stores expect you to do the shopping while using Santa as a promotional tool. I don't know what they're trying to say with that, except that they want your money.

"This is a family holiday, and every family has different traditions. There is usually a family dinner, and people sitting around to open presents, whether they are from Santa or not. The entire holiday is supposed to promote togetherness and make everyone feel good about things, usually by stuffing themselves with food."

She had it down better than she did four years ago, believe it or not.

"Now I do have a surprise for you, but that will wait a microt. I'm sure you have questions, so feel free to ask." And oh yes, they would be answered.

Comments

Sign In

[can_be_more]

Cheerfully!

Re: Sign In

[fabulous-secret.livejournal.com]

Adora

Re: Sign In

[knowsnokungfu.livejournal.com]

Chuck Bartowski

Listen to the lecture

[can_be_more]

NO SERIOUSLY SHE WAS WORSE IN 2005.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[fabulous-secret.livejournal.com]

Now this was the class she'd been waiting for. Adora had always wanted to know about Christmas!

She had not, however, always wanted to know about the frightening obese man and what happened to the naughty children. That was just sad.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[knowsnokungfu.livejournal.com]

This... was not how Chuck had learned about Christmas when he was younger, no.

It was kind of interesting to see it all from a slightly different point of view, though. So there was that. Even if she made Santa sound like a creep.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[trigons_child]

This was certainly a different description of the holiday than Raven had learned in her Religion class. It almost distracted her from her Rumor Gal flailings of last night.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[lickyourmind.livejournal.com]

Bah humbug. Jason wasn't in a great mood on account of his black eye and bruised jaw, not to mention aching body. His attention was half-assed; he'd really just like to go back to bed.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[bitchy_smurf]

Illyria did not actually say 'Whippersnapper' when Aeryn got around to the baby manger god. She just grunted something in proto-Akkadian that pretty much translated to it, but with more one-celled-organism references.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[nevertobequeen.livejournal.com]

This was like no other story Morgana had heard, and she had to admit she was pretty intrigued. It sounded too magical to ever get Uther's approval though.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

"This world's Gods are very strange," Beka muttered, mostly to herself.

Questions?

[can_be_more]

There will be SP, but if you have questions, go ahead and ask. Hell, answer each other!

Re: Questions?

[glacial_queen]

Karla raised her hand. "But how does Santa fit down the chimney if he's so morbidly obese?" sh asked, unwittingly echoing the words of several generations of children. It sounded like Craft, actually, and she was curious.

Re: Questions?

[can_be_more]

"Most people will answer that it's magic, though they never know what kind," said Aeryn. "I personally think he's just gotten very good at his job."

Re: Questions?

[bloody-luck.livejournal.com]

"If you bribe the man with more than just cookies, will you get better presents?" Mat asked.

Re: Questions?

[can_be_more]

"Yes, but only if you work out a deal beforehand," Aeryn replied. "Once the presents are in the sack, I think that's all he's got."

Duh, Aeryn, the sack was magic.

Re: Questions?

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

"What do you want for Christmas?" Yakko asked.

Re: Questions?

[can_be_more]

"More time in the day," Aeryn said immediately.

Santa Claus!

[can_be_more]

"Now for your surprise," said Aeryn once the questions had ended. "I have arranged for Santa Claus to actually visit, and let you tell him what it is you want for Christmas. You can all line up and take your turn."

And then she opened the door and called, "It's your turn, Santa."


[Wait till he pings in plz!]

Re: Santa Claus!

[sith_happened]

And lo, there was a cranky Anakin stuffed into suit.

"Ho, ho, ho," he said in a deadpan. "Tell me what you want and I'll tell you what a terrible person you are. And I know because I see you when you're sleeping and know what you're awake."

He shot Aeryn a look. "And how creepy is that, anyway?"

Re: Santa Claus!

[trigons_child]

Raven was...torn between just staring in horror and holding back giggles.

Re: Santa Claus!

[glacial_queen]

Karla was also torn--between the desire to take a picture of Anakin-as-Santa and continuing to breathe.

The giggling was happening no matter what.

Talk to Aeryn

[can_be_more]

She's not on crack, I swear, but fear what she's teaching her child.

OOC

[can_be_more]

BEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD.

Re: OOC

[bitchy_smurf]

I looked at Aeryn's Santa thread icon and went HEEEEEY and then looked at the keywords and cracked up.

Also, FLORAL HEX.