can_be_more: (half!aeryn)
Aeryn Sun ([personal profile] can_be_more) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2009-12-07 11:54 pm
Entry tags:

Fandom vs. The Real World- 2nd Period- Class #14

When the students came in to class today, they'd find the room completely decked out in Christmas decorations, complete with a tree and wreaths and all that stuff you'd find littering six aisles of your local Wal-Mart between August and December. Yes, Aeryn had made Fosse do most of it.

"This week, we're going to talk about Christmas," Aeryn began. "There are many holidays around this time, and while I don't wish to make anyone think they're any less important, Christmas is the holiday that will get jammed down your throats until you're filled with cheer and goodwill, and I don't even know. Christmas is celebrating the birth of a baby god named Jesus in December- depending on who you listen to- who was born in a barn to a woman who had never had sex. From what I've gathered, she was supposed to be human, and not a self-reproducing species. Then he would grow up and die, and then we would have Easter, which is an entirely different class because I have yet to find the meaning of the bunny.

"Meanwhile there is Santa Claus, who is a morbidly obese old man in a red suit who rides in a sleigh driven by reindeer- one of which may be slightly radioactive- around the sky. He helps celebrate the birth of the baby god. Somehow. He defies physics and the laws of time by traveling all over the world and dropping down chimneys in a blatant yet somehow allowable act of breaking and entering, and leaves presents for good girls and boys under the tree. Bad girls and boys get coal. I personally think this will only serve to make them worse girls and boys. There is also the issue of what happens when the children live in an apartment, or someplace where chimneys aren't common. Oh, and you're supposed to leave cookies and milk for Santa, as an offering. This is how he became morbidly obese, I think. He also does work before Christmas, by sitting in malls and letting children sit on his lap to tell him what they want, so he can prepare. Sometimes, if they can't get to him, they write letters. And in addition to all of this, the stores expect you to do the shopping while using Santa as a promotional tool. I don't know what they're trying to say with that, except that they want your money.

"This is a family holiday, and every family has different traditions. There is usually a family dinner, and people sitting around to open presents, whether they are from Santa or not. The entire holiday is supposed to promote togetherness and make everyone feel good about things, usually by stuffing themselves with food."

She had it down better than she did four years ago, believe it or not.

"Now I do have a surprise for you, but that will wait a microt. I'm sure you have questions, so feel free to ask." And oh yes, they would be answered.

Re: Sign In

[identity profile] fabulous-secret.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 11:54 am (UTC)(link)
Adora

Re: Listen to the lecture

[identity profile] fabulous-secret.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 11:56 am (UTC)(link)
Now this was the class she'd been waiting for. Adora had always wanted to know about Christmas!

She had not, however, always wanted to know about the frightening obese man and what happened to the naughty children. That was just sad.

Re: Sign In

[identity profile] knowsnokungfu.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 12:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Chuck Bartowski

Re: Listen to the lecture

[identity profile] knowsnokungfu.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
This... was not how Chuck had learned about Christmas when he was younger, no.

It was kind of interesting to see it all from a slightly different point of view, though. So there was that. Even if she made Santa sound like a creep.
trigons_child: (Happy)

Re: Sign In

[personal profile] trigons_child 2009-12-08 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Raven
Edited 2009-12-08 13:21 (UTC)
trigons_child: (Wide-eyed)

Re: Listen to the lecture

[personal profile] trigons_child 2009-12-08 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
This was certainly a different description of the holiday than Raven had learned in her Religion class. It almost distracted her from her Rumor Gal flailings of last night.

Re: Sign In

[identity profile] lickyourmind.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Jason Stackhouse

Re: Listen to the lecture

[identity profile] lickyourmind.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Bah humbug. Jason wasn't in a great mood on account of his black eye and bruised jaw, not to mention aching body. His attention was half-assed; he'd really just like to go back to bed.
bitchy_smurf: (OMG)

Re: OOC

[personal profile] bitchy_smurf 2009-12-08 02:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I looked at Aeryn's Santa thread icon and went HEEEEEY and then looked at the keywords and cracked up.

Also, FLORAL HEX.
bitchy_smurf: (Fred - happy)

Re: Sign In

[personal profile] bitchy_smurf 2009-12-08 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Illyria
bitchy_smurf: (muck stories)

Re: Listen to the lecture

[personal profile] bitchy_smurf 2009-12-08 02:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Illyria did not actually say 'Whippersnapper' when Aeryn got around to the baby manger god. She just grunted something in proto-Akkadian that pretty much translated to it, but with more one-celled-organism references.

Re: Sign In

[identity profile] noearsyet.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
George Cooper
sith_happened: (Anakin: slightly evil)

Re: Santa Claus!

[personal profile] sith_happened 2009-12-08 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
And lo, there was a cranky Anakin stuffed into suit.

"Ho, ho, ho," he said in a deadpan. "Tell me what you want and I'll tell you what a terrible person you are. And I know because I see you when you're sleeping and know what you're awake."

He shot Aeryn a look. "And how creepy is that, anyway?"
trigons_child: (Fingers to lips)

Re: Santa Claus!

[personal profile] trigons_child 2009-12-08 04:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Raven was...torn between just staring in horror and holding back giggles.
sith_happened: (Anakin: hood up)

Re: Santa Claus!

[personal profile] sith_happened 2009-12-08 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Anakin sighed. "Yes, little girl? What do you want for Christmas?"
glacial_queen: (Default)

Re: Sign In

[personal profile] glacial_queen 2009-12-08 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Karla

Re: Sign In

[identity profile] sonofmogh.livejournal.com 2009-12-08 04:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Worf
glacial_queen: (Class-Paying Attention)

Re: Questions?

[personal profile] glacial_queen 2009-12-08 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Karla raised her hand. "But how does Santa fit down the chimney if he's so morbidly obese?" sh asked, unwittingly echoing the words of several generations of children. It sounded like Craft, actually, and she was curious.
trigons_child: (Looking to the side)

Re: Santa Claus!

[personal profile] trigons_child 2009-12-08 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Raven wondered in passing if Aeryn had some sort of blackmail material on Anakin to get him to do this.

"I only wish for my friends to be safe and happy," she said. "There is not much I need for myself." Except maybe future episodes of Rumor Gal.

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