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fandomhigh2009-12-03 11:02 pm
suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-12-03 11:02 pm
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Win Friends | Period 4 | Class 12
Class was back in a classroom this week and Barney was up in front of the desks with a PowerPoint and a podium. "Welcome back! Last class you all created online profiles and I posted them to the internet where a few of them received significant potential hits. The next question is how do we decide which chick or dude we call up?" How indeed. He straightened his tie and clicked the remote, showing the question on the screen: WHICH CHICK?
"Now, the theory of evolution alleges that men evolved from monkeys...but what about women? It seems that as men became less hairy, more upright, and less interested in tossing their own poo, women became more attractive but somehow more crazy.
Today's chicks like to straddle the line between hot and crazy: the hotter they are, the crazier they are; the crazier they are, the hotter they seem. All of this is confusing to a Bro - meaning you dudes. Sorry ladies, you're on the chart for this one - and it's very often dangerous. How is a Bro to know if a chick is hot and crazy in a 'let's duck into the bathroom' kind of way, or hot and crazy in a 'let's huff paint and stalk your ex-girlfriends' kind of way?" See, he knew what he was talking about. Everyone had at least heard about the latter running around town and sighing heavily as certain boys passed.
"Fortunately, I've devised - and published, mind - a test that allows Bros to quickly determine where a chick fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale, as seen here." The screen flicked and the Crazy/Hot graph appeared for all to see its glory.
Now, you know how hot you are. But you probably have no idea how crazy you are – a major contributing factor to the problem. That’s where the great Professor Barnabus Stinson comes to the rescue. Be honest and rate your hotness from 1-10. Then, take the following simple quiz I’ve designed to see where you fall on the hot/crazy scale." He had the TAs pass out papers as that was so not in his job description. Damn he missed Tink helping him pass the time during lectures with talk of sex and stripper poles. Oh, time to talk again? Right.
"Once you've determined your own hotness, here's a special quiz to help you determine where girls and possibly boys you meet line up on the chart. And remember kids, never underestimate the power of the Crazy Eyes. If you have questions about what that means, ask Marshall. He had the first hand experience."
"Now, the theory of evolution alleges that men evolved from monkeys...but what about women? It seems that as men became less hairy, more upright, and less interested in tossing their own poo, women became more attractive but somehow more crazy.
Today's chicks like to straddle the line between hot and crazy: the hotter they are, the crazier they are; the crazier they are, the hotter they seem. All of this is confusing to a Bro - meaning you dudes. Sorry ladies, you're on the chart for this one - and it's very often dangerous. How is a Bro to know if a chick is hot and crazy in a 'let's duck into the bathroom' kind of way, or hot and crazy in a 'let's huff paint and stalk your ex-girlfriends' kind of way?" See, he knew what he was talking about. Everyone had at least heard about the latter running around town and sighing heavily as certain boys passed.
"Fortunately, I've devised - and published, mind - a test that allows Bros to quickly determine where a chick fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale, as seen here." The screen flicked and the Crazy/Hot graph appeared for all to see its glory.
Now, you know how hot you are. But you probably have no idea how crazy you are – a major contributing factor to the problem. That’s where the great Professor Barnabus Stinson comes to the rescue. Be honest and rate your hotness from 1-10. Then, take the following simple quiz I’ve designed to see where you fall on the hot/crazy scale." He had the TAs pass out papers as that was so not in his job description. Damn he missed Tink helping him pass the time during lectures with talk of sex and stripper poles. Oh, time to talk again? Right.
"Once you've determined your own hotness, here's a special quiz to help you determine where girls and possibly boys you meet line up on the chart. And remember kids, never underestimate the power of the Crazy Eyes. If you have questions about what that means, ask Marshall. He had the first hand experience."
Re: Sign In | Class 12
1
1. I meant 1! The extra 1 slipped in there because I was thinking of something else and I don't think that highly of myself really. This is embarrassing.Re: Sign In | Class 12
Wait wait wait is anyone going to see this? I don't know how modest I'm supposed to look!
7 if I'm modest, 8 if I'm realistic. 8-3/4 on a good hair day.
Re: Sign In | Class 12
What, the scale only goes to 10? $*@%! that.
Re: Sign In | Class 12
I guess I'm an 8, higher if the Goth thing floats your boat.
Re: Sign In | Class 12
Um, maybe four or five? I really don't want to be lower than that.
Re: Sign In | Class 12
Always a 10. Always.
Re: Sign In | Class 12
.... Whose sexiness cannot be properly expressed in mere digits.
Re: Sign In | Class 12
Who finds the whole idea of a rating scale repulsive
Re: Sign In | Class 12
Who refuses to participate in this activity. Besides you'd probably have to devise another one for Muppets.