fandomhigh | Library [11/06]

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Library [11/06]

And that was that, then. No more Halloween decorations, no more eerie sounds playing in the background. No more plotting tricks to take the place of treats in Jonothon's absence of a lower jaw.

And reading to do, for class, because he had been entirely out of sorts on Monday and he had to read up on Buddhism to make up for the utter daze he'd been during Lady Ghanima's lecture.

At least he was in the proper place for it.

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//She asked me if I trusted her,// he said, slowly and carefully. If he didn't focus on his words, then he'd fall to a mumble, and now was not the time to mumble. //And I did. So she told me t'close my eyes. So I did. And th'next thing I knew, it was like I had a mouth again. I could feel. I opened my eyes, and her face wasn't touching mine, and it seemed safe. I forgot to panic.//

Which, Jonothon knew, still didn't excuse him for not mentioning it. But now that she'd asked, he felt somewhat obligated to explain what had happened. To what end, exactly, he wasn't sure.

Bloody hell, he was such a plonker.

Edited 2009-11-07 01:05 (UTC)

It took Didi a long moment to say anything, and when she did her voice was quiet, flat.

"I wish I could give you that."

As second later, she went on. "She offered me, y'know? She said she'd set up an empathic bond between us." From her tone, it wasn't hard to tell her answer had been no.

In a weird way, it was a relief to realize that she hadn't accepted. Because for all that it would be like kissing, it still wouldn't be. And it didn't seem like it would be quite right, if it was something that they needed to find outside help for.

And Jonothon wasn't certain that he deserved to feel it again, considering he hadn't mentioned this almost-a-kiss in the first place.

//I wish I could give yer that, luv. No empathic bond whatever, no. Just... yer know. A kiss.//

"It'd be like ... always having a third person there. It'd be creepy." Didi was looking away, but she meant what she said. "And I know. Believe me, I know."

Mainly because she figured he probably wanted it at least as much as she did. And that was a lot.

It was always going to be the first thing he thought of when he realized what he was missing. He could get over not breathing, not eating, not feeling a heart in his chest. And hell, he had even more or less accepted that he would never be able to show his face in public without causing either rioting or panic in the streets.

But being unable to kiss the girl he cared for? That was never going to stop stinging.

//For all it's worth, I'm sorry,// he said, and even he was wondering what he was apologizing for. For the almost-kiss that he hadn't mentioned before? For being unable to give her one? Both? All that and more?

"Don't be." She didn't even know what she was forgiving him for. He should have told her, but it wasn't like he'd asked for any of it. "I just ... felt dumb, hearing it from her."

//I should have told yer,// he replied, nudging at the floor with the toe of his boot and putting forth a renewed effort to keep from mental mumbling. //Yer shouldn't have had to hear it from her.//

And he was an idiot, and she had been hurt, and he wanted to make everything better, ever, and didn't know how, and this was One Of Those Fridays, wasn't it?

//I want to make it up to yer, somehow, luv.//

That got a slight smile. She was forcing it a tad, but it was there.

It never did any good, dwelling on things. Time to move on.

"Okay, how do you propose to do that?"

That... Was a very good question, really.

//Another date, perhaps?//

They hadn't been on one since Kellerman's, after all.

"Date," Didi repeated. "I might be convinced to do that, sure. Wanna take me record shopping again?"

//If that's what yer want t'do,// Jono replied, lifting a hand to fidget awkwardly with the bandages running along the back of his neck. //I'm fine with anything, luv, if yer have yer heart set on something.//

"I am open to anything and you know that," Didi said, fondly. She reached up to adjust his jacket. "Record shopping means I get to hear you go on forever about which Sonic Youth album is best. You're cute when you're happy."

How a guy with no heart in his chest managed a blush was now and would forever be one of the great mysteries of the universe, yes.

//Well, then record shopping and something, perhaps? Are there any films in the cinema lately that yer've been interested in seeing?//

Record shopping and a movie! Record shopping was almost like dinner if you squinted.

Well, CDs were flat and disclike, ergo....

"The movie of that children's book," Didi decided. "With the monsters? It looks cool and creative."

//I think I've read that book,// Jono mused. And really, it would have been a very sad childhood indeed if he hadn't read it at least once in school or something. //Sure, then. If that's what yer want to see, then let's.//

"I do and we will." That was firm, at least. "... so. Should I let you get back to work?"

Jono looked at the few books that he had left to shelve. And then he shrugged a little.

//Only if yer have someplace else to be? I like yer company, Didi. And th'books aren't going to get impatient if they have to wait a little longer to be shelved.//

Well, they might, here on Fandom Island. But that didn't seem terribly likely today.

"It's the weekend. I have nothing," Didi informed him, and pulled herself up to sit on the counter. "How are the books, anyhow?"

//Educational,// Jono replied, doing that smile-in-the-eyes thing as he leaned forward against the counter, himself. //I was doing a bit of catching up after paying entirely too little attention to class on Monday. I might check a few of these books out, yet. One day is hardly enough to read them all.//

Especially not when you were busy being distracted by Bobby Drake and his pink Facebook cattle.

Didi tilted her head to see the titles of his books. "Buddhism. Are you trying for zen these days?"

//I could probably stand to gather up all th'zen I can get,// Jono mused, picking up one of the books and looking over the cover for a moment. //At least, I can't imagine it would hurt anything, at any rate. Though I'm a bit iffy about some of these 'ultimate truths' of theirs. Suffering is caused by attachments to wordly pleasures?//

He shook his head a little. //I don't think there's anything th'matter with bein' attached to something. It might hurt when it's taken away, but if yer don't allow yerself t'care for things, then what's th'point of living?//

Edited 2009-11-08 01:06 (UTC)

"I'm the wrong person to ask," Didi said. "I like stuff. It tends to kind of collect around me. Not big stuff, I just .... y'know, one day you have one hat and a month later you look up and you have 15 and hats are your thing."

"I think where they have a point? Sometimes people forget stuff is just stuff. It'll hurt when you lose it, but you have to sometime anyhow."

//Mmm,// Jono agreed, and then he lifted his shoulders in a shrug and put the book down again. //So long as they're talkin' about stuff, and not people, I suppose that makes sense enough. Losing a person might cause suffering, too, but it's better to have loved and lost...//

He waved a hand, vaguely. Blah blah, everybody knew the whole quote, then.

"Way better," Didi said. "I think they mean it about people, too. They're just wrong."

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Library [11/06]

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