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Win Friends | Period 4 | Class 8

Barney was back, all could rejoice at his tan suit and burgundy striped tie. Waiting for his class to trickle in, Barney was working over a mid-morning Bloody Mary and wishing the cafeteria offered brunch.

"Judging from your quiz last week, the majority of you are hopeless losers. No wonder you need a class to tell you how to win friends. Today we'll define this 'friendship' thing as it pertains to men." With the click of a button, Barney dimmed the lights and started up a fantastical PowerPoint slide show that announced its title as FRIENDSHIP. Each slide showed a different quote, which Barney would read aloud, trying not to give away how he felt about them.

Slide 1: Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. ~Aristotle
Slide 2: Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it. ~Cicero De Amicitia
Slide 3: Friendship admits of difference of character, as love does that of sex. ~Joseph Roux Meditations of a Parish Priest
Slide 4: Friendship is knowing your Bro will, in a timely manner, alert you to the existence of a girlfight. ~Stinson The Bro Code

Once the slides completed, the lights brightened and Barney started talking again. "Now, what does that mean, never leave a Bro or friend hanging? Simple! Besides the obvious health hazards inherent in keeping an arm aloft for an extended period of time, the emotional effects of leaving a friend out to dry in public can be devastating. If you ever see a Bro or a friend, even one you don't know, looking around frantically with a paw held high in the air, hit him up top. The power of the high five compels you! Since I'm sadly aware many of you are so alien to be from other planets, what we're talking about here is the--" he said it slowly just in case, "High Five." As he described them, Barney showed examples with his most awesome self. "There's the Classic Five, the Self Five, the Fist Bump, a little less common and more risky - the Exploding Fist Bump, and meant only for experts - the Around the World and the Relapse Five. Today, you'll go around the room and practice giving and receiving these most necessary of friendly gestures. Just remember, don't leave your bro hanging."

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Name & Sweet Icon

Cyd Sherman

Mirax Terrik

Didi

Illyria

Katina Choovanski

Jack Burton

Tybalt Capulet

Robin

Normally there would be music and exploding art in the slide show but something um, happened. Yes.

Codex was torn between being bewildered by the sudden change in the class' approach and wanting to fiddle with the powerpoint presentation to make it flashier. It was a computer geek thing.

Mirax had been here for what, four months now, and had yet to even have the opportunity to give a high five. She wondered if it really existed or if the teacher was just messing with them.

This wasn't ... exactly how Didi would define friendship, but it wasn't totally wrong and awful, either. Just a little shallow. She listened calmly.

About time somebody on the island share Tybalt's own idea of friendship.

It wasn't difficult to grasp, really, was it?

Get out there and gimme five!

There were many times in Codex's history where she had been left hanging. So many that she was having trouble getting herself to put her hand up for a high five. The odd emotional trauma was strong in this one.

"Do you want to do this?" Didi asked, turning to the first person she saw.

... who didn't have her hand up, but that was okay.

Codex had spoken to Didi before, so at least she wasn't dealing with high five uncertainty and someone completely new. "Sure!" No, she didn't, but when had that ever mattered? Silly Codex. "We're high fiving each other aren't we? I didn't misunderstand the instructions? I'm not entirely convinced I didn't hit my head before this class. And last week's class actually..."

"It is kind of weird," Didi agreed in a low voice. "I figure he gets points over Miss Upland for actually showing up two weeks in a row."

She had issues about people who didn't do their jobs, okay?

"But yeah, that's all this is. We high-five each other and then ... I guess we're done?"

Edited 2009-10-30 13:07 (UTC)

"I like being done," Codex shared. "Here's the thing." There was always a thing. "I have sort of a nervous twitch, so I need you to promise you won't leave me hanging." Perhaps it was more of a neediness than a nervous twitch.

Didi barked out a short laugh, then sobered when she realized Codex was serious. "I'd never leave somebody hanging."

Mirax sat there with her arm up.

She kind of felt really dumb. This was a joke, wasn't it?

"This is amazing, am I right?" Jack said, leaning over with his own arm up, ready to high-five.

Mirax was not the only one feeling dumb. But Chuck felt like a dork fairly regularly, so, not all that unusual for him.

Solution to that, was to offer his hand up towards her so she wasn't just left sitting there.

Edited 2009-10-30 22:58 (UTC)

Tybalt smirked faintly, looking about for somebody who was either hanging, or who wasn't about to leave him doing the same.

Illyria was not exactly 'hanging.' She was merely lifting her hand in the air to stare at it while she tried to decipher the point of slapping it against someone else's. Was it a sign of mutual victory? She could almost comprehend that.

Mutual victory was close enough, certainly! Tybalt's smirk remained as he leaned forward, reaching to smack his hand against hers.

"I must say, thou art looking rather... quizzical."

The quizzical was not replaced by guarded so much as accentuated by it - but she still allowed his hand to smack hers. "What purpose does this behavior serve?" she asked.

"Very little," Tybalt confided, not swayed in the least by her guarded expression. He was somewhat used to girls giving him a similar look.

Smarmy, smarmy Tybalt.

"Save to demonstrate a sense of solidarity amongst one's peers, of course."

"None of these people are my peers." It wasn't even disdainful - she could do disdainful, could she ever, but that wasn't it. Just a statement of fact.

"I must confess," Tybalt noted, quirking an eyebrow upward slightly, "that thou hath piqued my curiosity. If thy fellow students are not thy peers, then who, prithee, is?"

Edited 2009-10-31 18:57 (UTC)

Raven's father, possibly. Didi, arguably. She didn't acknowledge either. "I have none. They died long ago."

"Well," Tybalt mused, that eyebrow still raised, "if nothing else, at least thou art lucky enough to never have to worry about the possibility of 'leaving a bro hanging.'"

See? Silver lining to every cloud. Or some such rubbish.

Barney himself is available as always for questions, comments, and people in need of a drink.

\o

*can't leave a bro hanging!*

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