fandomhigh | Punching People for Fun and Profit, Period 1 [Class Six

Fred had the class meet in the Danger Shop again today.

"So, here's the deal," Fred said. "Today's the first of the explorations into various real world options you have for using these violence skills. We're gonna have practical exercises. So be prepared to freak the hell out. And dress appropriately."

He laughed.

"Today, we're covering something that's often the poor job of underpaid rent-a-cops. Bodyguarding. Simply put, your duty is to protect somebody from getting hurt. Now, this usually means that they have reason to think their life is in danger. Whether it's a pop star, an actor, or a politician, you pretty much become their own special thug. You make sure the wrong people can't get near them, and make the persistent idiots stop being persistent. Also, yeah, you might have to take a bullet if you're feeling noble."

"Today, you'll get to do group, pair, or individual work. You'll get put into a random scenario of someone you have to protect. You might have to deal with overzealous fans, or a pitchfork wielding mob, or just about anything. So get your group ready, let me know, and I'll start the program for you."

[ooc: ~~OCD first, please~~ Open for business!]

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And then the Princess started swinging at Tybalt. With an umbrella.

She didn't take kindly to groping.

Okay, so, there was a Princess, trying to kill him with a parasol, which was only mildly less unpleasant than the bombs would have been, but they were almost at the bloody door, now, and if he could just...

Oh, whatever. He was setting her down already and scowling at her.

"Wouldst thou have me drop thee, instead?"

Yes, Tybalt. Play up that 'securing my grip' card. See how well that does you.

And then, at the door, there was a moustached man (http://digitalmediaacademy.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/super_smash_bros_mario_01.jpg) in blue overalls and a red cap.

"Unhand her, you ruffian!" he said. "It's-a me! Ramio!"

By this point, Tybalt could only stare. And wonder idly at the vague sense of sibling rivalry he was feeling toward this plumber.

"Thou might consider her as good as unhanded," he hissed, putting his hands in the air. "I have carried out my task, she is delivered safely to another castle. Do with this shrew as thou dost please, for I'll have no more of her."

He liked girls better when they let him grope them, damn it.

And then a weird bit of music (http://www.entertonement.com/clips/sqtxglpthf--mario-level-end) played.

And the crazy multi-colored world faded away.

... Leaving Tybalt to stand there, wondering what the hell had just happened.

Ah well. At least he'd gotten to kick things.

Punching People for Fun and Profit, Period 1 [Class Six | 10/7/2009]

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