fandomhigh | DADA for Muggles [Wednesday, September 23rd, 5th period]

Today the classroom's ceiling was enchanted a cheery blue and the windows were open to let in the breeze. The guests of the week were slightly...well, rank.

"In our first class, zombies were mentioned as being an example of a dark art," Sirius began, giving their exhibits a slightly wary look. But it stopped him from staring rudely at the class. "And while some of the zombies in this town play musical instruments," which was still bloody odd, "that is hardly the, er, preferred career choice for the shuffling undead."

"No, the undead tend to find employment...er, such as it is, under the direction of functioning, living evil creatures. In our world, they're called Inferi, and they serve as dormant guards, until they're disturbed," Remus said. "They they drag their victim down to smother him or her, or drown, as the case may be. Zombies in general, however, from what we've learned in our time here, are often the victims of a sort of virus. Being bitten by a zombie will infect the victim with the condition as well, and since zombies feed on human flesh, it's a cycle of constant biting and infecting. I imagine this is why this genre of film is so popular -- it's a perfect formula."

Sirius nodded. "Though why the people at a dead sprint always lose to things that are losing their limbs remains a mystery for the ages. The lesson to glean from this, children, is that the dead should stay dead. This--" he jerked a thumb toward the Inferi, "--is no way to come back." He clasped his hands together. "Today we offer you two options for interaction: taping back our poor friends' parts onto themselves, or working on a breathing mask so that the smell doesn't knock you out."

"And, ladies and...." Remus stared at the class for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing, "well, gentlemen, we have extra credit for you this week. If you get a chance, go down to the bar and try to interview the zombies in the band there. We're not sure what they'll have to say, but they'll be a different experience from our Inferi."

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"But you're a fucking legend at reattaching limbs?" Effy smirked a little. "It's a little like building." Sort of. In a creepy way. If you squinted.

"More like fixing mistakes," he considered. As a crime against nature, he felt that reassembling another was an interesting sort of task. "You enjoying this time as a guy?"

Effy shrugged, finally catching an end and pulling out a length of tape. It was... a learning curve. It felt unnatural and weird, and she didn't think that was going to change.

"Still want my tits back." That one was also never going to change.

Thinking those might be breasts he'd seen, Griff's ears went a little pink. "They were a really great shelf during the movies. Mine, I mean. When I was a gel..." Obviously.

And there was her mission (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/1760905.html?thread=151372169#t151372169) for Layla kind of completed already. Effy grinned.

"Enjoy having a rack of your own, then?" she guessed.

"Not as much as the roommate," he replied. "Not mine, I mean. His."

Effy gave a bit of a laugh, and shook her head. "Doesn't surprise me." Really. Not even a little bit.

"Probably liked yours quite a lot too."

"Yes, well, I'd really rather never hear that bit of information again," he said, making a face of disgust. Nope, not ever will this one hook up with Karev.

"Aww." Amused, yes, very amused. "Well, I'm sure you had a great pair, Griff." He had to be getting close to figuring out who he was talking to, after all this.

"Got a special zombie you want to stick that to?"

"How's this one?" he said, holding it up to a random zombie. The arm was a little big, but hey, should zombies be picky?

Effy shrugged. "Long as it sticks, right?" She should never be a surgeon, of any kind.

"Even figured out who you're talking to yet?" Effy asked after a moment.

"I want to say Effy but if I'm wrong she'd never let me hear the end of it," he told her finally, giving the arm a little pat to make sure it stayed.

"Lucky you got that right then," she said, smirking and taking a quick step back away from the zombie and it's stink, "isn't it?"

"The cursing gave you away," he told her, smiling at his victory. "Only two people I know who curse so easily."

"Guess I'll take that as a compliment." Or... something.

Look, at least she was sort of memorable?

DADA for Muggles [Wednesday, September 23rd, 5th period]

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