Swordplay - 3rd Period - 9/10

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

After handwavily informing the class to bring their babies on to class, Deadpool was positively bouncing around.

"The bond between a boy--or girl--or tenticular elder god crammed into a meat puppet--and their sword is a sacred one. Yin to your yang, Oreo to your milk, the winner combo of the Jays on America's Next Top Model," Deadpool said, twirling one of his babies like he was in Glee Club.

...they needed a Glee Club here.

He'd be on that like white on rice, baby.

"So today we'll be talkin' about our weapons of choice! And how we take care of it in the long nights when it just needs to be sharpened and oiled and properly cleaned like the naughty little things they are--"

Okay, that could be considered just a bit dirty.

"--I mean, tell everyone about your weaponry! Think of this as... the Miss Inter-Dimensional Weapon Pageant. Who will win? Will there be a talent portion of the contest?!"

No. No there would not be.

"So jump on in and say why your weapon is better than everyone else's. Argue like the dickens, baby. But nothing more than that or I will make your like a living hell and Anakin seem like the nicest guy on island, got it?" Deadpool clapped happily. "Lets get going!"

Comments

Re: Discuss

[puppy_fair]

"That," Zack said, as he put on his 'ooooo' face, "is a really, really nice sword."

It waaaaaaas.

Re: Discuss

[bitchy_smurf]

Funny how the staff of the Wolfram & Hart Special Weapons Division didn't have a lot to say about how many of the Special Weapons you were personally requisitioning without filling out any requisitions when you tore the door off its hinges on the way in, and carried out all of the blades in one arm on the way out.

"It is a Kindaran kithsword whose forgers have no further need of it." That was lawyerspeak for We wiped out the entire clan, so hey, no next of kin to claim the booty!

Re: Discuss

[puppy_fair]

It was fortunate that Zack never did understand what those legal types were going on about!

"Lucky! A blade like that is a find that you've got to be proud of!"

Re: Discuss

[bitchy_smurf]

"It is... adequate." Illyria made a pained face. "Mine were bigger."

Re: Discuss

[puppy_fair]

"Oh, really?" Zack's own expression went sympathetic at that. "That's got to be rough. I know I have a hard time trying to work with a shorter sword than this one. You get used to the weight and the side of it in your hand, after all."

Re: Discuss

[bitchy_smurf]

"It's been many years since I held my own." There was the small matter of having slept through them all, though, so in a way, it had also only been weeks. "It is... frustrating, yes."

Re: Discuss

[puppy_fair]

"Well, I hope you get the chance to use something more comfortable to you soon," Zack decided. "I feel almost naked just running around without this one at my back all of the time. Having it be gone entirely would be... Ew."

Re: Discuss

[bitchy_smurf]

"Like having a vital external organ ripped from you?"

She...needed a bit more practice at this innuendo thing.

Re: Discuss

[puppy_fair]

Blink. Blink.

"Sooomething kinda like that, yeah."

It helped that Zack had no idea he was making innuendo when he did it. It meant that this just seemed like some weird cultural reference that he might never fully understand, and he would smile and offer a pleasant bobble of his head in agreement, because he didn't want to offend.

Even if that was the weirdest analogy he'd ever heard.

Re: Discuss

[bitchy_smurf]

Oh, Illyria had no idea either. She just sucked at not being blunt. She shrugged. "I miss my tentacles."

Re: Discuss

[puppy_fair]

Headtilt. Stare. Headtilt and stare.

"I guess I would too... If... I'd ever... Had any."

Headtilt the other way.

Don't picture it, Zack!

Re: Discuss

[bitchy_smurf]

"You would. They're very versatile."