fandomhigh | DADA for Muggles [Wednesday, September 9, 5th period]

The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom today resembled a farmers' market. Under the enchanted sky (today a clear blue), there were bins of various objects: cabbages, sticks, potatoes, and logs.

"Good afternoon, class," Remus said as they entered, the desks shoved to the sides of the classroom. "Today we tackle the problem of camouflaged enemies. Since this is only the second week of class, we're starting you out small. Each of these bins contains both perfectly innocuous objects, and creatures that resemble them. None of them is particularly dangerous -- however, you are all welcome to a pair of gloves, should you feel the need."

He paused, and continued, "While these animals are all from our world, specifically, it is hardly uncommon for creatures, both dark and light, to conceal themselves by masquerading as something else. For instance, most jungle-dwelling large cats have patterns that resemble shadows from their natural environment, so as to blend in all the better and stalk their prey."

"Some modifications can serve defensive purposes," Sirius added. "And some--like a Whomping Willow--" his eyes twinkled at Remus, "--are just ornery." Sirius nodded and gestured at the bins. "In today's exercise, you're looking to differentiate dugbogs from logs, bowtruckles from sticks, gnomes from potatoes and Chinese Chomping Cabbages from, erm, cabbages." He began passing around sheets of parchment breaking down the differences between the various objects.

"And as a final note, next week we will be covering boggarts, which take the form of your greatest fear," Remus added. "If you'd like to be excused from class in advance, do please see Professor Black or myself during our office hours."

[OOC: Preplayed with

lycanthromoony, the excessive OCD is up! Have at it!]

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"Oh, thanks!" Dinah took a couple steps back and said soothingly, "Niiiice little... sticky thing. Bowtruckle." Which sounded weird. "What's it say on the sheet?" she asked, picking up about six sticks at once to make a little fence between it and her. At least that seemed to puzzle it for a minute, because it stopped hissing and swiped at the sticks instead.

"Wow, that is one pissed off stick," Alex said, almost amused at it now. "I wonder what happened to make it so angry. Think we should it give something?"

"If I have anything that would calm it down, I am totally okay with handing it over. I'm very sorry I knocked your hiding place away, what do you want?" Dinah said, as some of the sticks fell over and the bowtruckle started stomping in their direction. "Leaves? Shrooms? A nice valium?"

"Shrooms? Valium?" Alex asked, shooting an amused glance in Dinah's direction. "When did you become a pharmacy?"

Dinah made a face at him and said, "I'll go get some! If that's what it wants." Maybe Simon would give her some? It'd get her away from the thing. "Do you have anything it might want?" Stomp stomp stompity stomp, and hissss of rage from it. "So. Creepy."

"Gum?" Alex asked, pulling a pack from his pocket. "Or cigarettes. It's one or the other."

"Let's go with the gum." Dinah glanced at the information sheet, and frowned, looking around at the kicked over sticks. "This says it likes wood lice too. Bleah. Gum's a place to start, though. Want my gloves?" She started stripping hers off, not wanting Alex to get bitten.

"I've got my own," he said, waving the oven mitts and taking out a stick of gum before sliding the mitts on. "Should I just throw it at him?"

"Maybe? Sure," Dinah said, nodding, and picking up another couple little sticks, looking to see if there was any wood lice or fairy eggs in there, not that she knew what either looked like. "Just be careful."

"I'm not planning on getting near it," he said crouched some so he could lob the piece of gum towards the little stick figure thing.

Another hisssss, but this one seemed more of warning than pissed-offed-ness, and maybe some curiosity? It picked up the gum and examined it, blinking its beady little eyes creepily at them.

Dinah found a couple little bugs on one of the sticks, too, so she joined Alex, stick in hand, watching. "Okaaay. Not hating us yet?"

"Seems interested in the gum," he said, watching the little thing curiously. "Maybe it'll start eating it and get tangled up or something. Stopped it from stalking us though."

"Whew." Dinah sat down, and watched the bowtruckle put the gum in its mouth.

A weird expression crossed its face, and it tilted its head nearly ninety degrees at them. Chewing. Chewing. Chewwwwwing.

"It's like watching a tree eat sap or tree gum or fungus or something."

"Good thing I had some of that on me," he said, smiling now. "Probably worked better than me offering him a cigarette. I think one of those might weigh more than he does."

Dinah snickered in relief, and handed over the stick with the bugs very, very carefully. The bowtruckle seemed amenable, but still preoccupied with the gum. "Okay, note to self, do not try to find a bowtruckle by taking away its hiding place. They get mad." She sat back on her heels and elbowed Alex. "Good call."

"Thanks," he said and shrugged. "Just glad the little shit didn't try and attack our ankles."

DADA for Muggles [Wednesday, September 9, 5th period]

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