fandomhigh | Humorous History: Friday, Period 1, Class 1

When the bell rang, Jim checked out the door quickly to make sure that there was nobody else hurrying to class. Satisfied that he had everyone, he closed the door and walked back towards his desk.

"Hi," he told the class, giving them a friendly smile. "If you're here, hopefully you've signed up for Humorous History. If not, go ahead and just take notes anyway. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"For the next few months, we're going to be looking at historical events and figures that make me laugh. Don't get me wrong. When we talk about Andrew Jackson, we're going to have a very serious discussion about him. But our serious discussion isn't going to focus on the fact that he was a powerful politician who did a bunch of historically significant things. Our discussion is going to be about how he shot a guy in the crotch one time. On purpose. For the record, the Jackson class is probably going to be the only time I talk about crotches in this class except for right now. I'm usually more highbrow than that."

"Oh, and we're also going to have a few movie days because," Jim paused for a moment and shot a glance at the camera. It had been here the whole time. It was pretty clear that he just wasn't going to reference it at all. "... well, I have a Netflix account and I might be able to write it off on my taxes now."

"But we'll get to stuff like that next week. For today, let's just go with introductions. I know, you've probably done this fifteen times by now, but on the plus side you only need to do it with me once. So let's hear it. Name, class, and something humorous from your own personal history. But none of this 'Fandom weirdness' stuff. No turning into animals, no meeting a different version of somebody you know. That's way too easy for you and it's still way too weird for me."

[OOC: ~~Still up for a bit before sleeeeep. And then~~ woooooork.]

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"I'm Kelly!" she announced, beaming. Oh, her teacher was cute. "Um, like, Kelly Kapoor. I'm a sophomore! And, like, okay, so this one time my sister and I were like, going to go to the beach, at a lake, because like, we don't have a real beach because I'm like, from Pennsylvania, and omigod, do you know how boring it is in Pennsylvania? Like, really really boring. So like, we were going to go to the beach, and like, I kept saying I wished it was like, a real beach, 'cause like, real beaches are in California and there are movie stars there!!" At 'movie stars,' Kelly actually sing-songed the words and did a little jazz hands sort of flail. "And like, wouldn't it be like, so exciting if you went to a beach and like, George Clooney was just like, napping on the sand? Omigod! I'd like, go lie down with him. Okay, not really! Probably. But I'd like, ask for his autograph and tell him he's my favorite and like, omigod, he is so amazing. Did you see him in that movie? Where he was like, adorable? I know, that's like every movie. I saw on TV the other day that, like, he used to date a cocktail waitress, and I kept thinking, 'Kelly, that could be you! You could be that cocktail waitress!' Wouldn't that be like, so exciting? If George Clooney just like, came and took me away and dated me and like, I went to the Oscars? Omigod, but like, what would I wear? I look really good in white, so maybe that, but how would I do my hair? Do you think they'd get someone to do it for me? I hope so. Because, like, everyone would ask me about it on the red carpet."

She finally paused to breathe.

Well, any doubts were shattered. That was most definitely a teenage version of Kelly. "Thanks, Kelly. I'm actually from Pennsylvania too, so I know exactly what you mean about the beaches."

He could have just thanked her and moved on. He just couldn't help but be curious if mentioning the beach would bring her back on topic.

"Omigod that is like so crazy! I mean, the beaches are cute, but there aren't like, dolphins or whales or seals or jellyfish or octopuses or eels or turtles or manatees or baby belugas or starfish or submarines or mermaids or squids or pretty coral or shrimp or stingrays or seamonkeys or sharks. I mean, probably. I'm kind of like, glad, about the sharks? Because I don't want to get eaten, you know? Like in that movie about the shark that eats people. That would suck. But like, I wish like, the lake had some of that sea stuff. Like, wouldn't it be totally awesome if there was like, an octopus in the lake? I mean, kind of. Unless it like, killed you. Can octopuses do that? I mean, they have like, eight legs. Are those legs for killing swimmers? Why else would they have them? What a weird animal. I wonder if anyone's ever thought this much about octopuses before! Probably not. Omigod, seals, though, are like so cute. And polar bears! And penguins."

Well, trying to get an actual story out of Kelly was about as misguided as Jim figured it would be, so he decided to just have some fun. "You know, there is an Oceanography class. The teacher of that class probably knows more about octopi than me."

"Omigod I should ask them!" Kelly squealed. She would be forgetting to do that in about six minutes. "You are like, so smart. I like don't even know what an octopi is! Is that like, a special octopus?"

Jim's eyes darted towards the camera for a brief moment. "No, it's just the plural of 'octopus.'"

Humorous History: Friday, Period 1, Class 1

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