Humorous History: Friday, Period 1, Class 1

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

When the bell rang, Jim checked out the door quickly to make sure that there was nobody else hurrying to class. Satisfied that he had everyone, he closed the door and walked back towards his desk.

"Hi," he told the class, giving them a friendly smile. "If you're here, hopefully you've signed up for Humorous History. If not, go ahead and just take notes anyway. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"For the next few months, we're going to be looking at historical events and figures that make me laugh. Don't get me wrong. When we talk about Andrew Jackson, we're going to have a very serious discussion about him. But our serious discussion isn't going to focus on the fact that he was a powerful politician who did a bunch of historically significant things. Our discussion is going to be about how he shot a guy in the crotch one time. On purpose. For the record, the Jackson class is probably going to be the only time I talk about crotches in this class except for right now. I'm usually more highbrow than that."

"Oh, and we're also going to have a few movie days because," Jim paused for a moment and shot a glance at the camera. It had been here the whole time. It was pretty clear that he just wasn't going to reference it at all. "... well, I have a Netflix account and I might be able to write it off on my taxes now."

"But we'll get to stuff like that next week. For today, let's just go with introductions. I know, you've probably done this fifteen times by now, but on the plus side you only need to do it with me once. So let's hear it. Name, class, and something humorous from your own personal history. But none of this 'Fandom weirdness' stuff. No turning into animals, no meeting a different version of somebody you know. That's way too easy for you and it's still way too weird for me."

[OOC: Still up for a bit before sleeeeep. And then woooooork.]

Comments

Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Okay, I'll start with the introductions. My name is Jim Halpert - but that's Mister Halpert to you because it's a fun little power trip for me. I was most recently a senior, but that was like ten years ago." He shrugged briefly at the camera.

"So, at my last job, my boss cooked his foot on a George Foreman Grill. He managed this while getting out of bed in the morning, and then he came into work late with a bubblewrap cast, crutches, and demands for people to help him. I managed to pop a bunch of the bubbles on the cast before he yelled at me."

Jim paused for a moment. "We didn't get much work done there. Okay, who's next? Name, class, story."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[not-jaded-yet.livejournal.com]

"I'm Jennifer Walters, I'm a Junior, and I guess a funny story that doesn't involve any Fandom stuff would be this kid I used to babysit, Zapper? He once got his head stuck between the railings of the stairs in my house. We had to actually saw one of them out to get him free."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Was he a good kid or kind of bratty?" Jim asked. "Because it's funnier if he's was a brat."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[not-jaded-yet.livejournal.com]

"He's always been a good kid," Jennifer said. "Never really had a problem with him. He really looks up to me."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[officetightass]

Angela didn't mind the introductions. It was a good way to get to know who the people were in the class that you might be working with, even if it did mean they were taking away from valuable class time.

"My name is Angela Martin, I'm a junior, and is that camera going to be here the whole time?" Even if Jim wasn't going to reference it, she was.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"What camera?" Jim asked, giving it a quick glance.

Because, really, ANGELA?

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[officetightass]

"The one you just looked at." Said in that tone that said she'd mentally punctuated her words with idiot.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[italksmack.livejournal.com]

"I'm Kelly!" she announced, beaming. Oh, her teacher was cute. "Um, like, Kelly Kapoor. I'm a sophomore! And, like, okay, so this one time my sister and I were like, going to go to the beach, at a lake, because like, we don't have a real beach because I'm like, from Pennsylvania, and omigod, do you know how boring it is in Pennsylvania? Like, really really boring. So like, we were going to go to the beach, and like, I kept saying I wished it was like, a real beach, 'cause like, real beaches are in California and there are movie stars there!!" At 'movie stars,' Kelly actually sing-songed the words and did a little jazz hands sort of flail. "And like, wouldn't it be like, so exciting if you went to a beach and like, George Clooney was just like, napping on the sand? Omigod! I'd like, go lie down with him. Okay, not really! Probably. But I'd like, ask for his autograph and tell him he's my favorite and like, omigod, he is so amazing. Did you see him in that movie? Where he was like, adorable? I know, that's like every movie. I saw on TV the other day that, like, he used to date a cocktail waitress, and I kept thinking, 'Kelly, that could be you! You could be that cocktail waitress!' Wouldn't that be like, so exciting? If George Clooney just like, came and took me away and dated me and like, I went to the Oscars? Omigod, but like, what would I wear? I look really good in white, so maybe that, but how would I do my hair? Do you think they'd get someone to do it for me? I hope so. Because, like, everyone would ask me about it on the red carpet."

She finally paused to breathe.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Well, any doubts were shattered. That was most definitely a teenage version of Kelly. "Thanks, Kelly. I'm actually from Pennsylvania too, so I know exactly what you mean about the beaches."

He could have just thanked her and moved on. He just couldn't help but be curious if mentioning the beach would bring her back on topic.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[italksmack.livejournal.com]

"Omigod that is like so crazy! I mean, the beaches are cute, but there aren't like, dolphins or whales or seals or jellyfish or octopuses or eels or turtles or manatees or baby belugas or starfish or submarines or mermaids or squids or pretty coral or shrimp or stingrays or seamonkeys or sharks. I mean, probably. I'm kind of like, glad, about the sharks? Because I don't want to get eaten, you know? Like in that movie about the shark that eats people. That would suck. But like, I wish like, the lake had some of that sea stuff. Like, wouldn't it be totally awesome if there was like, an octopus in the lake? I mean, kind of. Unless it like, killed you. Can octopuses do that? I mean, they have like, eight legs. Are those legs for killing swimmers? Why else would they have them? What a weird animal. I wonder if anyone's ever thought this much about octopuses before! Probably not. Omigod, seals, though, are like so cute. And polar bears! And penguins."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

"My name's Rose Hathaway, and I'm a senior," she made a face as she tried to think of a story that didn't end with some kind of violence. Probably not the best thing to say on the first day. "At my old school, this kid Mason decided he was going to come down to training all dressed up in girl's clothes. Teachers made him stay in the skirt and heels all morning. He got rid of the bra pretty fast though."

Okay, so it wasn't totally hilarious but it wasn't violent either. Stories ending with 'and then I broke her arm' weren't a good start.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"I like the teachers at your old school," Jim said. "I think they taught him an important lesson: you have to commit to the joke."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

"They also taught him that fighting in high heels leads to ankle problems later in life," Rose said dryly.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"Hi!" Layla said cheerfully. "I'm Layla Miller. I know stuff. I'm a junior and the best story I have is that at my last job my boss got drunk and slept with both his female employees and didn't realize it until the next day. The look on his face was priceless."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Never tell that story to Dean Stinson, okay?" Jim said, after letting it sink in for a moment.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[lovemykilt]

Priestly took a few moments to think over any funny stories from his history that didn't involve, say, whacking the ear off a zombie that only said "duuuuuude", or getting lost in a broom closet while spending the weekend as a vapid moron. The rebel in him was kind of stuck on the whole Fandom weirdness thing.

Well, probably best to stick with the classics.

"I'm Priestly, I'm a senior, and I once set fire to my mom's garden accidentally while trying to burn my khakis in protest. She didn't think it was that funny, and it got me shipped off to boarding school, but the look on her face when the geraniums went up was pretty priceless."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Do you mind if I ask what you were protesting?" Jim asked. It could always make the story that much worse, so he had to ask.

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[longislandiceme]

"Bobby Drake, and I'm a sophomore," Bobby said with a wave. "Um- funny story? I went on a road trip with a friend once, and it ended with us getting stuck in a hurricane. We were okay, but the car... sorta ended up at the bottom of a river."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Wow," Jim said. He wasn't entirely sure how that was supposed to be funny instead of traumatic, but... "Whose car was it?"

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

"Hannibal King. I'm a senior, finally," he said, feeling accomplished at having gotten that far. "As for a funny story, I once shaved the word 'LIMPET' into my my buddy's hair. Yeah, yeah, I know the word means something scientific but come on, that's a funny word. Also, he got asked a lot of personal questions for the next few days."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Jim smiled at that. "How did you shave it into his hair? Was he sleeping, or did he just think you were doing something else?"

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[life_inshadow]

"Hi, I'm Tara Maclay, sophomore," Tara said. "Uh ... I kind of suck at stories. Oh! This one time, my b-brother drank a potion my mom was making and his tongue was numb for three days."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Jim wasn't going to ask about the potion. He just wasn't. "He didn't go to the dentist when that happened, did he? Because that would have been the perfect time for it."

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[fabulous-secret.livejournal.com]

"I am, Adora," she said, smiling brightly even if she wasn't sure she was supposed to yet. "I am a junior and the funniest story I could tell you would be this time my friend Perfuma was captured by Hordak and her constant creation of flowers in his prison caused him to have to pay us to take her back!" It was hilarious, okay?

Re: Discussion [Week 1]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Jim was going to ignore the insane parts of that for now and focus on the resolution. "Did he pay with cash or credit?"