fandomhigh | a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2

Today was the last day of class and Loki's last day of teaching for a long while, at least. He'd be leaving all that up to the non lazier ones come fall. For now, there was just one last time to get to torment his students.

"Good morning," he began exuberantly. "You all made it to the last fucking class of the term. Now, now, don't cry. I'm sure we'll see each other again. And, if you don't, well, I'm sure we'll all live. Now, I'd thought of planning some super hard final just to piss everyone off but I just couldn't make myself plan something hard like that."

That would have meant he'd have to pay attention or grade something and he was just too fucking lazy to do that on the last day of class.

"So, instead, I'm going to assign each of you an individual situation," he decided. "Could be anything and I want you to tell me how you'd solve that little quirk or, if you can't solve it, how you'd deal with it. You can use things we've learned this semester or you can make up your own fucking way. This is just to see how you do with things on the fly. Let's get started."

Oh, the quirks he'd devised. His brain was fucking awesome.

[OCD is up! Have fun!]

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Elena chewed her lip and considered the matter seriously.

"I have a gun," she said. "My first thought was, take hostages, but then I can't necessarily trust that the doctors have my best interests at heart. I could shoot myself in a decidedly not-vital spot and pretend to swoon from blood loss. It'd get their attention."

"There still hospitals today that you can get a gun in without setting off alarms?" Loki asked. He had no fucking idea. No reason to go to hospitals.

"I'm not from around here," Elena apologized. "I'm good at getting weapons in where they shouldn't be. If they take the gun, I've still got a few knives strapped down. I can't imagine they'd frisk me well enough to find them."

Most security guards were male. With a tiny blonde girl, most guys didn't want to look like pervs, so they skipped the curvy spots. Guys that were pervs, or were just thorough, you could nail with a knee and claim they were copping a feel.

He accepted that answer with a nod. Even the most stringent of protective facilities could be broken into.

"Okay, so, you shoot yourself in a place that won't cause you die," he said, going back to that. "That might, at least, get you into the psych ward since you just fucking shot yourself. You would get treatment though but then you'd be stuck there."

"Worse places to recuperate, than the psych ward," Elena decided. "I'd see if I could get sedated, ride out some of the pain that way."

If she was in the hospital to start, it had better be serious enough that they'd admit her.

"Then start fucking around with the doctors, make them think that I think I'm an orange or something. I don't think they can commit you for thinking you're an orange, if you promise not to hurt yourself and to take the meds like a good little girl."

It wasn't a bad plan as far as plans went, Loki decided. Still, he had one more question.

"How's your impersonation of an orange go?" he asked. Maybe he could get her to do it.

That was a good question. Elena hunched over in her seat, pulling her feet up onto the desk and hugging her knees. There, that was as round as she was going to get.

She twitched a few times, and darted her eyes around the room like she was paranoid. Or high. Possibly both. "Listen," she said, dropping her voice to a hoary whisper. "Listen. Nobody ... nobody gets it, man. Nobody believes me. But they're coming. They wanna ... they wanna peel my skin off. You can't let them in here. They'd tear this place up. The ... the Juicers."

Loki was impressed and, since he knew she was impersonating an orange, he felt comfortable laughing.

"That's...the first fucking orange impression I've seen in a long time," he laughed. "It'd convince me."

"It'd certainly be more interesting than just sitting around waiting for my stitches to heal," Elena grinned. "It worries me that you said 'a long time,' there."

"Well, I've been alive for fucking centuries upon centuries," he said, shrugging. "You tend to see a lot of weird things over that span of time."

"So what you're saying is, you'd drink every round of 'I Never,'" Elena said.

Edited 2009-08-19 14:04 (UTC)

"If I had the fucking ability to drink, yes," he said and sighed wistfully. Ah, alcohol.

A look of barely-disguised horror flitted over Elena's features.

"You've been alive for centuries, and you can't drink?"

Someone or something hated him.

Loki shared that sentiment.

"I used to be able to drink," he clarified, "before things got fucked up and God decided that angels weren't allowed to drink anymore. Such a fucking pansy, I swear."

a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | august 19

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

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Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]