fandomhigh | a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2

Today was the last day of class and Loki's last day of teaching for a long while, at least. He'd be leaving all that up to the non lazier ones come fall. For now, there was just one last time to get to torment his students.

"Good morning," he began exuberantly. "You all made it to the last fucking class of the term. Now, now, don't cry. I'm sure we'll see each other again. And, if you don't, well, I'm sure we'll all live. Now, I'd thought of planning some super hard final just to piss everyone off but I just couldn't make myself plan something hard like that."

That would have meant he'd have to pay attention or grade something and he was just too fucking lazy to do that on the last day of class.

"So, instead, I'm going to assign each of you an individual situation," he decided. "Could be anything and I want you to tell me how you'd solve that little quirk or, if you can't solve it, how you'd deal with it. You can use things we've learned this semester or you can make up your own fucking way. This is just to see how you do with things on the fly. Let's get started."

Oh, the quirks he'd devised. His brain was fucking awesome.

[OCD is up! Have fun!]

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Like you're gonna miss your teacher!

It's the last day of class! Feel free to chat it up, go to sleep, pass notes, whatever!

Each of you has a quirk! Tell Loki how you'd deal with it and he will ~~judge you~~ tell you what he thinks!

Agnes - You've got a flat tire, late at night and your cell phone's dead
Blysse - You're pregnant
Edmund - You've accidentally congratulated a woman on her pregnancy when she's...not
Effy - You've got guy related jealousy issues that you can't seem to contain
Elena - You've been waiting in a hospital trauma room for hours and still haven't been seen
Elle - The hairdresser completely fucked up your hair
Emmett - You recognize your girlfriend in the porn you're watching
Fiona - There's no toilet paper in the bathroom you're using and you can't find where the person whose house you're at keeps it
George - Someone thinks you look like a girl and tells you so
Griff - Someone asks you to be in a threesome with them
Helen - You're told you have herpes
Jaina - You live below loud neighbors that rebuff any attempts you make at solving things diplomatically
Jenny - Instead of giving you a boob job, the plastic surgeon gives you a bad nose job
Layla - You are forced to go to a Celine Dion concert
Prince Edward - You are rendered unable to sing
Tara - Your roommate insists on walking around naked because that's the way God made her
Yuffie - You destroy a display at a store but no one sees you do it
Zack - You accidentally apply and get a job at the porn store

__

[Feel free to handwave!]

Who I thank very much for volunteering to TA for Loki!

Who is around for one last time!

Thank you for being a great class! I had fun!

Zack Fair

Oh, well-played, Loki. Well-played.

Zack opened his mouth to formulate a reply. Yes, indeed. This was Zack, about to make words.

"Do I get a discount?"

And this was Zack, turning a vibrant shade of pink and talking himself out of hiding under something.

Layla Miller

For a second, Loki just laughed because that was not what he expected to come out of Zack's mouth. After getting that out, he said, "You do. Fifteen percent on everything but the new releases."

"I will go to the concert! Then I will attempt to get backstage speaking in an outrageous French-Canadian accent by claiming to be Celine's long lost daughter and then demand money to keep her family secret quiet," Layal replied.

"And what if she thinks you're fucking nuts?" Loki asked. "I'm sure she's had a lot of fake children pop up. Also, she doesn't seem the type to just pop out children and forget about them. She's like the Sally fucking Struthers of the music world."

That wasn't a bad discount, really.

... You know, if you were the kind of guy to actually buy porn.

"If they've hired me," Zack noted, ever the one to attempt to sound rational (and usually failing), "they're probably pretty desperate."

Effy Stonem

"Possibly," he agreed with a nod. "And that means what? You're gonna stick around and deal with the porn store and it's porn customers?"

He just liked saying porn today, apparently.

"Good discount, decent pay, and the chance to meet some interesting people."

Considering Effy hadn't gone to bed yet, she was looking remarkably alert. It was something she had a lot of practice at, even if not much of it had been recent.

She'd sleep it all off later. For now, she was actually listening.

"It'll be worth it just to kick her in the shins and yell 'I was earwormed for two years having to listen to that heart-will-go-on crap!"

Okay, that was actually pretty much what Loki would have done. "Getting arrested would be worth it too? You know they'd charge you for assault."

To Loki, it would be so fucking worth it. That song had given him fucking nightmares and made him want to take a bat to many a radio over the years.

Oh, please, Effy would never get this problem. She repressed brilliantly. Mostly.

"I'd go screw someone else."

Because that's mature.

"And that would help?" he wondered, trying not to snicker.

"I'm pretty sure I'd get a light sentence," Layla said with a shrug. "Everybody hates that song now."

"And half the fucking world would testify on your behalf," Loki agreed. "I approve. Good way of dealing with having to go to that woman's concert. My only advice, bring earplugs."

"Sure it would make me feel better," she replied simply. In more ways than one.

Zack cringed a little at that.

That was a lot of usage of the word porn.

"Maybe all I'd have to do is stock shelves?"

It was possible that Zack was just very, very bad at saying 'no' to people in need. Even porn store managers.

"Stocking the shelves means handling the merchandise," he pointed out, realizing he was so going to miss Zack and his way too fucking polite for the world ways. "Maybe they'd make you the recommendation guy!"

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a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | august 19

sign in [llq 08/19]

chat | stare | take notes [llq 08/19]

class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

the ta's [llq 08/19]

loki [llq 08/19]

ooc [llq 08/19]

Re: sign in [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: sign in [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: sign in [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: chat | stare | take notes [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]

Re: class activity | quirky dealings [llq 08/19]