How to be Awesome | Week 7 | Period 6 | Mon. 8/17

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney was a hot ball of Awesome at the front of the room, all dressed in grey with hints of appropriate black for the highest level of GQ he could potentially attain. "Oh-tee-pees! One TRUE Pairings for the Luddites out there who don't have an iPhone or know what text messaging is. It seems Fandom is suffering from a rash of OTPs - relationships that, rather than going as far as they can and then crashing and burning in the blissful blow of a breakup--" he paused because this was really important "-continue on into eternity! 'Oh, we'll never be apart! We were em-tee-bee!'" The sicky sweet tone assured the class Barney did not subscribe to this idea of relationships at all.

"No, you weren't meant to be, you were meant to get your hands on as many hot seventeen-year-olds as possible before you turned eighteen and they became illegal! Embrace your youth! Or soon you'll become like my alleged friend Robin, a hot and talented bro who has decided to marry a Mountie! And while yes, this will provide me with more jokes than the average marriage? I am horrified for her loss. I was told copious amounts of alcohol and strippers would not defeat her engagement plans and thus, I have begun plans for the last resort to really show a bro how to return to the world of Being Awesome - an INTERVENTION!" With a theatrical wave of his hand, a large banner, displaying the word 'INTERVENTION' in large red letters unrolled from the top of the white board.

"For engagement and," a pause for shuddering, "marriage Interventions, I have devised a fantastic form letter to be completed by the bro worrying about their formerly Awesome friend and read aloud during the actual Intervention. Feel free to take a look at that as you devise your very own Intervention letter." He pointed to a stack of papers he intended to make the TAs pass out, had they deigned to show for class.

"This is your final task as students of Awesome. Luckily, I've yet to hear disturbing news of any students becoming engaged lately. And despite knowing engagement is often the gateway to marriage (the leading cause of monogamy) we're skipping the relationship Intervention today in favor of different, yet equally dangerous topics. It is up to you to convince your bros that whatever it is they are doing is hurtful and/or wrong on a biblical level. Now, get with a partner and enact your assigned intervention with GUSTO!" And yes, when he said 'gusto' there was an impressive display of sparks appearing in front of Barney. He loved a little theatrical magic to accent his words on Intervention Day.

A list of their assigned interventions was then made visible beneath the glory of the INTERVENTION banner.

Alex Karev - Your bro will not stop singing...everything.
Bobby Drake - Your bro relates everything to hockey. In a Canadian accent.
Chuck Bass - Your bitch chews and crunches all of his food louder than a T-Rex ripping up a vegan.
Claudia Kishi - Your bro wears skirts with pants. Need we say more?
Effy Stonem - Your bro is turning into a crazy cat lady.
Elena - Your bro asks the Magic 8-Ball for its opinion before doing anything.
Eva Rodriguez - Your bro starts every story with, 'This one time, at band camp...'
Fiona Post - Your bro will not stop using air quotes no matter how annoying.
Griff O'Conner - Your bro thinks they know stuff.
Harper Finkle - Your bro dyes their hair so often you never know what you should be looking for when you meet them at the bar.
Hurley Reyes - Your bro insists on wearing the lamest red boots known to man everywhere she goes.
Jack Burton - Your bro wears leggings. With stirrups.
Jo Harvelle - Your bro is still talking about Michael Jackson.
Layla Miller - Your bro quotes the weather channel. About the weather.
Leto Atreides - Your bro hums loudly and off key during all lulls in conversation.
Priestly - Your bro won't stop speaking in French.
Prince Edward - Your bro calls other bros 'bro' instead of 'dude' or 'man.'
Sam Winchester - Your bro won't shut up about that new ABC Family gymnastics program.
Sam Witwicky - Your bro continually comes up with 'witty' nicknames for everyone. You are 'Spunky.'
Wendy Watson - Your bro wears socks with sandals. Are we 60?
Yakko Warner - Your bro dances with his hands above his head. He's one step away from being a woo girl.

"Oh, and I so look forward to watching your videos! Don't forget to turn them in! As always, you've been Awesome!"

[Course Information | Roster ]

Comments

Sign In [Awesome W7]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

What do you need an Intervention for? Huh? Huh?

Re: Sign In [Awesome W7]

[longislandiceme]

Bobby Drake

Lecture [Awesome W7]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

The post was getting big so here's your copy of the letter! React, talk amongst yourselves! Thank god you'll never have to come to this class again!

[Friend's last name], I cannot stand idly by while you make the biggest mistake any man can make: getting married. Mark my words: the whole thing is gonna go..[pyrotechnics] Up in flames! Don't get me wrong, [friend's fiancee] is a great girl. We all love her. In fact, [friend you want to play a funny prank on] is always mentioning things he'd like to do with her if you guys ever broke up...stuff involving a [children's toy] and a [large auto part] and a tub of [picnic condiment]...it's pretty creepy. The point is that she can never be what you really need at this stage in your life, and that's every other girl in the world. [Place a hand on his shoulder but don't squeeze] I care about you, and I just don't want to lose a friend in the senseless stupidity of commitment. Remember [lame, married friend]?

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

If someone Alex knew as busy singing everything, he was pretty sure he'd just punch them. Since he was pretty sure that wasn't allowed, he spent the lecture tapping a pen against his chin and considering the form letter.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[gudspellr-claud.livejournal.com]

Claudia sat with a pen in her mouth for a long while as she fixed her letter appropriately.

Skirts with pants? Oh. Em. Gee.

Fortunately, the rain barrel she was wearing today looked totes dibble.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

This letter was totally awesome, even if Chuck planned on getting married someday.

And as for the other thing...well, Chuck hadn't noticed Sam chewed loudly but whatever.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[cutsthestrings.livejournal.com]

...Fiona wasn't sure that the speech was fit for print, let alone going out and attempting to use it to 'intervene' in anything.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[youcantfollow.livejournal.com]

Griffin stared at the letter, a little stuck on the part with the children's toy, auto part, and picnic condiment because that was a mental image never needed again.

Ever.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[lovemykilt]

Priestly had to admit, you couldn't fault Barney's creativity.

He really didn't see what was so wrong with knowing who you wanted to spend your life with, though.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

Elena wasn't entirely sure how to modify the bit about the friend and the picnic condiment to someone's magic 8-ball. This? This was going to be a fun letter.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W7]

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

Plotz. Explosion. Hollywood starlet looking to break into the biz. Doctor Scratchensniff. Scrabble board. Engine block. Relish. Touching. Ralph the Guard.

It was the least entertaining Mad Lib ever.

INTERVENTION! [Awesome W7]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Find someone to present your Letter of Intervention to! Read it aloud, it's more fun that way.

Re: INTERVENTION! [Awesome W7]

[longislandiceme]

Okay, so Bobby liked hockey (and any other winter-type sports) as much as the next guy with sweet-ass ice powers, but relating everything to hockey? That was a bit weird.

And so he went to work writing his letter. After a few minutes, he glanced up and started looking around for someone to present it to. He didn't think any of his actual classmates were Canadian, but maybe someone would be willing to pretend for the assignment's sake?

Re: INTERVENTION! [Awesome W7]

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex had his Letter of Intervention written (and he even edited out some of the curse words) so now he was just waiting for someone to read it aloud to. He loved these easy last classes.

Re: INTERVENTION! [Awesome W7]

[cutsthestrings.livejournal.com]

Fiona wasn't sure that she could find anyone who would use 'air quotes' (what did that even mean?). That said, she went to work writing up a letter and by the time she was done, was reasonably sure she'd fulfilled the assignment properly. Possibly. Or something.

Re: INTERVENTION! [Awesome W7]

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck could totally do this. This will be practice for when he had to give Nate an intervention about his manbangs.

Re: INTERVENTION! [Awesome W7]

[lovemykilt]

Priestly looked around for someone to partner up with, making a mental list of all the most outrageous French stereotypes he could think of.

Re: INTERVENTION! [Awesome W7]

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

Yakko was holding a thick manuscript. It looked to be at least three hundred pages long. The front page read "Learning How To Dance Like a Guy: An Intervention."

Apparently he was a fast writer.

Video Turn In [Awesome W7]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Hit us with a description or links of your Video Resume! Barney loves seeing what everyone put together and will take great care watching them all.

Re: Video Turn In [Awesome W7]

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex's video wasn't as showy as Professor Stinson's but it did include shots of him smoking in his dorm room, looking utterly comfortable, shots of him beating up a dummy to illustrate knocking down the competition and shots of some pretty girls giving testimonials about Alex's better qualities.

That trip to the mainland had paid off.

Re: Video Turn In [Awesome W7]

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck's video, simply put, was awesome. Most of it was set in Victrola with the dancers serving him drinks half-naked.

Yeah, that should be enough to get him the A he so deserved.

Re: Video Turn In [Awesome W7]

[cutsthestrings.livejournal.com]

Fiona turned in her assigned video. While it might have been 'awesome' in one sense, it did sort of make her out to be some sort of psychotic ninja librarian.

...though her dress was still fantastic so she should at least get points for wardrobe and good hair.

TAs [Awesome W7]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Who are Awesome in a very special way.

Re: TAs [Awesome W7]

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex was going to miss this class and the teacher's special brand of crazy.

Barney [Awesome W7]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney is having a drink off to the side, no cigar this week, he's drawing up plans for his new, larger Dean's office.

OOC [Awesome W7]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Thanks for being a fun class! I was half asleep as I wrote this and thanks to those who know who they are for inspiring me for some of these Intervention topics.

*HUGS YOU ALL*