fandomhigh | a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2

The class was taking place in the Danger Shop today and Loki kind of couldn't wait for this lesson. He waited till everyone arrived, got settled before he started talking.

"Welcome back," he started, nodding at them all. "Hope you all had a wonderful fucking weekend and no one's melted because of the fucking heat."

It was fucking hot, man.

"Anyway, today, we're doing something that should be fun." For him. "And you all should, at one point or another, have to deal with this. Whether you're a guy or a girl, you're all going to have to slink into a store one night and buy condoms. Or maybe you'll have to buy fucking your mom some new underwear. Or, if you're really fucking lucky, some adult diapers. Yes, children, buying shit that embarrasses you is a fact of fucking life. Best to get over it now before because it's going to fucking happen and turning a bright shade of fucking red because you're embarrassed is not going to fucking help."

It'd just be amusing.

"The easiest thing to do just do it quick," he continued. "Find the item, buy it, make no fucking eye contact with the clerk and leave. Of course, this might be difficult if the clerk starts talking to you and you don't want to be a rude shit and ignore him or her. Then, you have to suck it up. There's also the 'buy lots of shit and hide the embarrassing thing in the middle' trick. If you buy a shit ton of mundane stuff, maybe you can lull the clerk into not thinking anything of your embarrassing purchase, right? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it just puts more focus on your embarrassing item. You could also try to make someone buy it for you. In this class, you're not going to get to do that but if you find someone that doesn't give a shit about buying stuff like that, then you're golden."

Loki grinned because this activity was going to be awesome.

"Today, you're all going to be buying something embarrassing," he said. "I've assigned items and it's your job to buy the thing, pay for it and get out of the store without stuttering or blushing like a fucking idiot. Sound easy? I guess we'll see, right? Get going."

Loki stood back and waited for the the first student to take their turn.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Probably not. Still, this cashier was grinning broadly.

"I'm associating with a customer," he bullshitted. "I'm putting forth good customer service in order to relate with the customer so he'll come back. And it's not too much of a presumption, right?"

Oh, well-played, Mr. Cashier. Well-played.

"I... It's... If I'm buying this then I guess not," Zack settled on, managing to sputter out more syllables vaguely resembling words to form something not unlike a sentence.

"I think you'll find it's money well spent," the clerk said, bagging up Zack's purchase in a very noticeable 'PORN STORE!!' bag.

Of course.

"And if it's not, well, we don't accept refunds after you've gotten to the end," he said. "Both the end of the movie AND your fun solo time."

Oh, the bag was just cruel and unusual, and Zack was making the mental note to bring his own bag if he ever had to go shopping for porn in the future.

That was a pretty solid if, there.

"Thanks," he mumbled, handing over the money and then clutching the bag to his chest as though perhaps it was going to get away and start eating people alive if he didn't. "But I think, if I don't like it, I'd sooner just light it on fire than bring it back."

The video, and the television, and the room that the television happened to be in, and the building, and himself, and...

"Well, you have a good day, then," the clerk said, taking the money and passing Zack back it's change. "And don't forget, two more purchases and you qualify for our frequent customer card!"

Zack would love that.

"So, come back soon and become one of the Porn Store Purveyors!"

Words were now entirely overrated, and Zack was making his way, swiftly and stiff-legged, out of the store.

He would have attempted to mumble something along the lines of 'have a good day' before taking off, but he had his suspicions that this guy would just take that as an invitation to talk more. And the more this guy opened his mouth, the worse it was for Zack.

Push open the door, and practically throw himself outside the shop, and FREEDOM.

a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | august 12

Re: class activity | embarrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrassing item buying [llq 08/12]