a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | august 5

[flipped-god-off.livejournal.com]

Unlike last week, Loki was back in the classroom, grinning smugly at each student as they entered. Once they'd all settled, he stood up and started talking.

"Welcome back," he greeted. "I hope you all enjoyed you free day last week. Seems I had other things to do and couldn't be here but I am glad to see that some of you stayed and some you...didn't."

He'd be getting to that later.

"Today, we're going to be talking about alcohol." His stomach panged just thinking about alcohol. It was just fucking unfair. "Now, I'm sure most of you have been exposed to alcohol in one form or another. Whether you're a connoisseur, a social drinker, or the one who gets to drag your drunk friends home, there's pretty much now way that you'd miss exposure to alcohol around here."

Or you were him and you had to watch people drink and yearn.

"And, for some of you, this class might be old hat," he said, looking around. "But, if you're going to be out on your own, exposed to all the things life can throw at you, you're gonna need to know how to control your alcohol intake so you can still function. That doesn't mean you can't go out and get rip roaring drunk when it's needed but if you're drink every single fucking day of your life, your gonna kill your liver amongst other things. You need to find your tolerance and stick with it on days you have to function. Don't fucking mix beer and liquor unless you wanna be praying to the porcelain god all fucking night. And for fuck's sake, be careful when a stranger pushes a drink in your hand and you don't know where it fucking came from."

That was just begging for trouble.

"Find a drink you like and fucking stick with it," he advised. "Change it up when you can but if you find something you like, you'll know how many you can drink without taking off your pants, putting a lampshade on your head and singing off tune fucking karaoke. For today, we're going to try and demonstrate the effects of what too much drinking can do to you in everyday situations. Those of you that stayed last week--" Big giant nerds. "--you get to wear beer goggles. Put them on and keep them on for the entire fucking class period. Talk to at least one other fucking person in the class with the beer goggles on. This can be easily solved during the class activity portion. Doesn't have to be a meaningful conversation, just has to be a conversation. For those of you that left class last week, you get to wear this.

Oh, that shirt was just so fugly, Loki couldn't even stand it.

"I wish I could actually give you guys alcohol but that'd probably get my ass fired," he said. "So, after you've got your beer goggles and t-shirts on, pair up and talk about your experiences with alcohol. I don't care if you have no experience, a lot of experience or something in between. Chat about it with a partner while you're wearing your awesome fucking accessories. Get to it."

There was one amused angel at the front of the room, oh yes.

Comments

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

...at least he wasn't having to wear that shirt.

Prince Edward sat, goggles on, and simply stared forward.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen sighed and sat down next to Edward.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

Edward sighed.

"Hello, Helen."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Edward," she said with another sigh.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

BIG sigh.

"I suppose you have an experience with alcohol you wish to discuss?"

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Not really, no," Helen admitted. "Well, I suppose creema di leema was mildly alcoholic, but otherwise I rarely have more than a small amount. You?"

She understood the sighing, but honestly, it was only encouraging her to get bad ideas about tormenting him.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Creemadileeeee... what is that?" he asked, making a face. "I drink beer. With Priest. And Dinah. I've had rum and Coke, too."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"When I was Walking the Bounds," she explained, "Jamie and I were trapped on a planet where that was the drink of choice. You couldn't avoid it really."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Don't you mean hounds?" he asked.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"I think I might possibly be aware of the difference," Helen said sarcastically. "Hounds, bounds. I can see how someone like you might be easily confused however."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

He narrowed his eyes. "And by someone like me, you mean?"

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Oh, there were so many potential answers to that question. So many.

Helen had to consider carefully which might be most effective. Unless she decided to list them.

Then again...

She raised an eyebrow archly, gave him a pitying look, and shrugged.

Ah yes, much better.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

He frowned. What was she doing with her face? Could she just not speak the words?!

SIGH!

Grumble.

SIGH.

"I cannot help it that you cannot have me."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

She laughed. She couldn't help it. Just burst out into loud embarrassing laughter and had to bury her face in her hands to try and control it.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"See? Better to laugh than to focus on the disappointment," he stated.

Oh so smart was that Edward.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

That set her off again. "Disappointment?" she managed between gales of laughter. "Oh, Edward!"

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I know, but trust that you will find your own one true love one day, Ah-hah!"

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"My one true love," she was wiping the tears from her eyes now, still laughing so hard she could barely catch her breath. "Oh, Edward, how have you survived this long? If you weren't interested you shouldn't have flirted and come into the closet with me! Uquar knows I found better."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

Wait. What did she say?

"I did not flirt!"

He didn't!

"You... you dragged me there! I should like to think you found something better than a closet!"

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Edward," she said, as gently as she could manage through the laughter. "You definitely flirted. And you made no objections to finding a private place with me. Had I wanted you that badly, I could easily have chased you down when you ran."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"But I ran! From you! That does tell you something, does it not?" he pointed out, feeling his cheeks turn hot.

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"That you panicked and changed your mind, yes," Helen said. "Which all people are entitled to do. Thus, the lack of chasing."

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"I didn't change my mind! I had no idea what you were about! You... you... loose woman!"

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen looked a bit startled at that. "You...? Oh you poor thing. You're even less bright than I had originally believed!"

Re: class activity | alcohol management [llq 08/04]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Helen! Helen I... I... think you should find another partner before I do something I will regret!"