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fandomhigh2009-08-05 06:40 am
flipped-god-off.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-08-05 06:40 am
Entry tags:
a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | august 5
Unlike last week, Loki was back in the classroom, grinning smugly at each student as they entered. Once they'd all settled, he stood up and started talking.
"Welcome back," he greeted. "I hope you all enjoyed you free day last week. Seems I had other things to do and couldn't be here but I am glad to see that some of you stayed and some you...didn't."
He'd be getting to that later.
"Today, we're going to be talking about alcohol." His stomach panged just thinking about alcohol. It was just fucking unfair. "Now, I'm sure most of you have been exposed to alcohol in one form or another. Whether you're a connoisseur, a social drinker, or the one who gets to drag your drunk friends home, there's pretty much now way that you'd miss exposure to alcohol around here."
Or you were him and you had to watch people drink and yearn.
"And, for some of you, this class might be old hat," he said, looking around. "But, if you're going to be out on your own, exposed to all the things life can throw at you, you're gonna need to know how to control your alcohol intake so you can still function. That doesn't mean you can't go out and get rip roaring drunk when it's needed but if you're drink every single fucking day of your life, your gonna kill your liver amongst other things. You need to find your tolerance and stick with it on days you have to function. Don't fucking mix beer and liquor unless you wanna be praying to the porcelain god all fucking night. And for fuck's sake, be careful when a stranger pushes a drink in your hand and you don't know where it fucking came from."
That was just begging for trouble.
"Find a drink you like and fucking stick with it," he advised. "Change it up when you can but if you find something you like, you'll know how many you can drink without taking off your pants, putting a lampshade on your head and singing off tune fucking karaoke. For today, we're going to try and demonstrate the effects of what too much drinking can do to you in everyday situations. Those of you that stayed last week--" Big giant nerds. "--you get to wear beer goggles. Put them on and keep them on for the entire fucking class period. Talk to at least one other fucking person in the class with the beer goggles on. This can be easily solved during the class activity portion. Doesn't have to be a meaningful conversation, just has to be a conversation. For those of you that left class last week, you get to wear this.
Oh, that shirt was just so fugly, Loki couldn't even stand it.
"I wish I could actually give you guys alcohol but that'd probably get my ass fired," he said. "So, after you've got your beer goggles and t-shirts on, pair up and talk about your experiences with alcohol. I don't care if you have no experience, a lot of experience or something in between. Chat about it with a partner while you're wearing your awesome fucking accessories. Get to it."
There was one amused angel at the front of the room, oh yes.
"Welcome back," he greeted. "I hope you all enjoyed you free day last week. Seems I had other things to do and couldn't be here but I am glad to see that some of you stayed and some you...didn't."
He'd be getting to that later.
"Today, we're going to be talking about alcohol." His stomach panged just thinking about alcohol. It was just fucking unfair. "Now, I'm sure most of you have been exposed to alcohol in one form or another. Whether you're a connoisseur, a social drinker, or the one who gets to drag your drunk friends home, there's pretty much now way that you'd miss exposure to alcohol around here."
Or you were him and you had to watch people drink and yearn.
"And, for some of you, this class might be old hat," he said, looking around. "But, if you're going to be out on your own, exposed to all the things life can throw at you, you're gonna need to know how to control your alcohol intake so you can still function. That doesn't mean you can't go out and get rip roaring drunk when it's needed but if you're drink every single fucking day of your life, your gonna kill your liver amongst other things. You need to find your tolerance and stick with it on days you have to function. Don't fucking mix beer and liquor unless you wanna be praying to the porcelain god all fucking night. And for fuck's sake, be careful when a stranger pushes a drink in your hand and you don't know where it fucking came from."
That was just begging for trouble.
"Find a drink you like and fucking stick with it," he advised. "Change it up when you can but if you find something you like, you'll know how many you can drink without taking off your pants, putting a lampshade on your head and singing off tune fucking karaoke. For today, we're going to try and demonstrate the effects of what too much drinking can do to you in everyday situations. Those of you that stayed last week--" Big giant nerds. "--you get to wear beer goggles. Put them on and keep them on for the entire fucking class period. Talk to at least one other fucking person in the class with the beer goggles on. This can be easily solved during the class activity portion. Doesn't have to be a meaningful conversation, just has to be a conversation. For those of you that left class last week, you get to wear this.
Oh, that shirt was just so fugly, Loki couldn't even stand it.
"I wish I could actually give you guys alcohol but that'd probably get my ass fired," he said. "So, after you've got your beer goggles and t-shirts on, pair up and talk about your experiences with alcohol. I don't care if you have no experience, a lot of experience or something in between. Chat about it with a partner while you're wearing your awesome fucking accessories. Get to it."
There was one amused angel at the front of the room, oh yes.
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