Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period - 7/27

[screwyoumarvel]

"Good morning, everyone," Steve said. "Today we'll be talking about a subject near and dear to everyone's heart: how to behave when dealing with your roommate or roommates."

Deadpool nodded seriously along with that. "Important rules about replacing food and cleaning up their dirty laundry and not being so damn fat all the time. I mean, c'mon. If you're gonna teach a gym class, you should try to be in shape. But nooooo. Just wallowing about and bein' more fat."

...what? He was very passionate about the subject at hand.

Steve stared at Deadpool in his usual dealing-with-Deadpool manner, which meant he looked slightly blank for a moment as his brain tried and failed to process that, then said slowly, "I don't think we should judge people based on their weight, Wade."

"...dude, The Blob."

"Oh." And that was all Steve was going to say about that. "Having a roommate is really about respecting the other person and their right to live in a clean and nondisruptive environment. That's the base of all the little rules and routines, so if you can remember that you'll be fine." Said the man whose house had gotten blown up regularly for years. Maybe not as often as Xavier's, but still.

"And always, always, always throw something at them when they forget to wash the dishes and leave them in the sink until things start growing and quiche comes to life on you," Deadpool added.

"Ideally," Steve said, shooting a look at Deadpool, "Everyone will do their dishes in a timely manner so that things don't start growing in the sink. But even if they do, you shouldn't throw things at them." Unless they were Clint. "That's rude."

Deadpool eyed him. "Maybe in crazy Avenger Land where you have a butler to take care of things."

"I washed my own dishes," Steve said, sounding mildly offended. It was part of why he'd been able to keep kitchen privileges for so long. "But that's neither here nor there. A good roommate should also be considerate of their roommate's sleep schedule, which may be very different from their own, and not play loud music or practice mixed martial arts while other people are trying to sleep."

"Whoa! Whoa. Let's not be Nazis here. Nazi bees and or ones with stupid pink masks on. We can't just tell them not to practice mixed martial arts just because someone is sleeping," Deadpool replied. "That's just cruel and unusual, man."

He took a step forward, looking at an audience that wasn't there, hand on his chest. "Because the American dream includes practicing mixed martial arts in the wee hours of the night, just as much as it does protection from religious persecution and the ability to speak one's mind without fear of the goverment going all nutso on you and sending crazy ass Dark Avengers out to kill you. Norman. Seriously? Seriously? What kinda crack were the editors smoking to let that one get through?"

Steve wasn't even touching that. "You may have noticed by now that Mr. Wilson has some issues," Steve said to the students. "Let's just pretend that didn't just happen."

"He's being kind," Deadpool added. "I'm crazy and we all know that. Now, we're going to have a few scenarios that happen in real life all the time and you are gonna pair off to come up with solutions to them that--" He sighed. "--don't involve braining them with a shoe."

"So, pair up," Steve said, "and then you can draw scenarios out of this bowl. Get to it."

Comments

Sign In

[screwyoumarvel]

Like your roommate just did something ridiculous.

Re: Sign In

[trigons_child]

Rachel Roth

Before the Lecture

[screwyoumarvel]

This is where you mingle.

During the Lecture

[screwyoumarvel]

This is where you pay attention and wonder how Deadpool hasn't been committed yet.

Re: During the Lecture

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

This was actually the part where Rose was making a mental note to point out to Alex that if he had this class, he'd've gotten a whole load of new ideas for Griff.

...And also wondering just how crazy!teacher managed to be so freakin' crazy every week.

Re: During the Lecture

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

Hannibal hadn't ever really had any trouble with his roommate. It probably helped that he was sleeping with her but he didn't recommend that to everyone.

Re: During the Lecture

[life_inshadow]

This was the weirdest class ever.

Tara ... kind of didn't hate it. Somehow.

She wasn't really taking notes, though. She figured she and Fiona got along okay so far.

Re: During the Lecture

[icecoldfrost]

Well, Emma hadn't had any problems with her last roommate, and the cabins had been just fine this last time around.

Living with McCoy, however, was still an unknown variable, so she was paying at least cursory attention to the lecture.

Re: During the Lecture

[awalkingfelony.livejournal.com]

Elle didn't think she could ever have a problem with a roommate, like ever.

Re: During the Lecture

[awesomebigsis.livejournal.com]

Ellie wasn't really taking notes because she didn't have any problem with her current roommate. She did kind of listen, though, in case she had roommate issues in the future.

Re: During the Lecture

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

Oh. OH.

He'd played the weight card. Granted, not at her specifically, but he'd mentioned it.

Agnes glared at Deadpool. And her face was discovering that it could be turned as red as the teacher's mask from reasons OTHER than embarrassment. Well, there was plenty embarrassment wrapped up in there, too.

All the same, Deadpool was lucky she didn't have the power to kill him with her mind. Yet.

Activity Time

[screwyoumarvel]

Pair up and select one of the following totally common situations:

1) Your roommate's archnemesis recently attacked and destroyed your home. Discuss this with him or her.

2) You arrive home to find your roommate drunk and passed out in your bed. With no clothes. (You do not have to act out this part. Please. Do not act out this part.) What do you do?

3) Your roommate is having sex while you're still in the room. How do you respond?

4) Your roommate has a distressing habit of leaving their dirty dishes in the bathroom sink. How do you respond?

5) You have found out that your roommate is actually your archnemesis, but the property is rent controlled. How do you work out a solution to the housing situation?

Re: Activity Time

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

Rose looked around for a partner as she considered the options.

No way in hell was she going to talk about #1.

Re: Activity Time

[flashesforinfo.livejournal.com]

Angela was looking over the list with a little amusement as she waited for a partner.

Feeling so lucky that none of those applied to her at this point.

Re: Activity Time

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

Hannibal hadn't had any of these apply to him (thank you, Angela) but he was more than willing to go off past experiences and thought about that while he waited for a partner.

Re: Activity Time

[hes-aphantom.livejournal.com]

Danny looked over the situations while waiting for someone who he could partner up with. "Ouch, ew, ew, yuck, really?"

Re: Activity Time

[awalkingfelony.livejournal.com]

Oh. Some of these choices were decidedly different. Hm.

Re: Activity Time

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

While waiting for a partner, Agnes amused herself by trying to figure out which of the two teachers was more likely to have had each of the situations happen to them. She didn't have an answer for 2, 3, or 4, but #1 was almost definitely both of them, and #5 had to be uniquely Deadpool.

Talk to Your Teachers

[screwyoumarvel]

As soon as they ping in.

Re: Talk to Your Teachers

[screwyoumarvel]

Speak to the sane one!

Re: Talk to Your Teachers

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool was totally there. And still thinking about how he'd react if the X-Men destroyed his place.

OOC

[screwyoumarvel]

All three scenarios that do not involve archnemeses have happened to me.

Share your bad roommate stories here!

Re: OOC

[life_inshadow]

I think I told you this, but just to share with everybody else: MAGGOTS IN THE SINK.

The summer after I got back from my study abroad in England, I had (foolishly) let my friends find a place for me. The house they picked was apparently fine when they looked at it but went to hell before I moved in. There was this one couple who went from sticking their dirty dishes in the bathroom (and washing them once a week, which I complained about) to sticking them in the kitchen sink (and washing them never). One morning I was fishing around in there to try to restore order ... and a plastic cup was full of maggots.

I shrieked. Then I moved out at the end of the month.

I've never lived with strangers since.

Re: OOC

[hes-aphantom.livejournal.com]

Oh, memories. My worst one was the one who wouldn't talk to anyone, she just left notes. ALL. OVER. THE PLACE. I finally ended up leaving notes on her notes saying that she needed to SPEAK TO US, rather than leave passive-aggressive notes all over the damn apartment.

Re: OOC

[trigons_child]

At one point I lived with my (then) boyfriend, his brother and his brother's wife, plus another friend. Then my BF's father ended up moving in when he divorced his wife. It was a pretty big apartment so it wasn't a huge deal at first.

Until we found out he was a raging alcoholic. Which still wasn't too bad because he just stayed in his room and drank himself into a stupor.

That is, until he needed to use the bathroom. At which point he would come out of his room, usually wearing his dress shirt and tie from work...and nothing else. This half-naked man would stumble drunkenly across the kitchen, flapping in the breeze.

We sort of got used to it. But occasionally we'd have guests and forget to warn them. They'd hear a noise from the kitchen and quite naturally turn their head to see who was there. The resulting trauma became a joy to behold.

After I moved out, I heard the horror stories about when they all finally moved out of the apartment. Naked Man's room was overflowing with beer bottles, not all of 'em empty. Because sometimes the bathroom was occupied, y'know. Though there was the one time he used the washing machine....