screwyoumarvel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fandomhigh2009-07-27 12:48 am
screwyoumarvel) wrote in fandomhigh2009-07-27 12:48 am
Entry tags:
Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period - 7/27
"Good morning, everyone," Steve said. "Today we'll be talking about a subject near and dear to everyone's heart: how to behave when dealing with your roommate or roommates."
Deadpool nodded seriously along with that. "Important rules about replacing food and cleaning up their dirty laundry and not being so damn fat all the time. I mean, c'mon. If you're gonna teach a gym class, you should try to be in shape. But nooooo. Just wallowing about and bein' more fat."
...what? He was very passionate about the subject at hand.
Steve stared at Deadpool in his usual dealing-with-Deadpool manner, which meant he looked slightly blank for a moment as his brain tried and failed to process that, then said slowly, "I don't think we should judge people based on their weight, Wade."
"...dude, The Blob."
"Oh." And that was all Steve was going to say about that. "Having a roommate is really about respecting the other person and their right to live in a clean and nondisruptive environment. That's the base of all the little rules and routines, so if you can remember that you'll be fine." Said the man whose house had gotten blown up regularly for years. Maybe not as often as Xavier's, but still.
"And always, always, always throw something at them when they forget to wash the dishes and leave them in the sink until things start growing and quiche comes to life on you," Deadpool added.
"Ideally," Steve said, shooting a look at Deadpool, "Everyone will do their dishes in a timely manner so that things don't start growing in the sink. But even if they do, you shouldn't throw things at them." Unless they were Clint. "That's rude."
Deadpool eyed him. "Maybe in crazy Avenger Land where you have a butler to take care of things."
"I washed my own dishes," Steve said, sounding mildly offended. It was part of why he'd been able to keep kitchen privileges for so long. "But that's neither here nor there. A good roommate should also be considerate of their roommate's sleep schedule, which may be very different from their own, and not play loud music or practice mixed martial arts while other people are trying to sleep."
"Whoa! Whoa. Let's not be Nazis here. Nazi bees and or ones with stupid pink masks on. We can't just tell them not to practice mixed martial arts just because someone is sleeping," Deadpool replied. "That's just cruel and unusual, man."
He took a step forward, looking at an audience that wasn't there, hand on his chest. "Because the American dream includes practicing mixed martial arts in the wee hours of the night, just as much as it does protection from religious persecution and the ability to speak one's mind without fear of the goverment going all nutso on you and sending crazy ass Dark Avengers out to kill you. Norman. Seriously? Seriously? What kinda crack were the editors smoking to let that one get through?"
Steve wasn't even touching that. "You may have noticed by now that Mr. Wilson has some issues," Steve said to the students. "Let's just pretend that didn't just happen."
"He's being kind," Deadpool added. "I'm crazy and we all know that. Now, we're going to have a few scenarios that happen in real life all the time and you are gonna pair off to come up with solutions to them that--" He sighed. "--don't involve braining them with a shoe."
"So, pair up," Steve said, "and then you can draw scenarios out of this bowl. Get to it."
Deadpool nodded seriously along with that. "Important rules about replacing food and cleaning up their dirty laundry and not being so damn fat all the time. I mean, c'mon. If you're gonna teach a gym class, you should try to be in shape. But nooooo. Just wallowing about and bein' more fat."
...what? He was very passionate about the subject at hand.
Steve stared at Deadpool in his usual dealing-with-Deadpool manner, which meant he looked slightly blank for a moment as his brain tried and failed to process that, then said slowly, "I don't think we should judge people based on their weight, Wade."
"...dude, The Blob."
"Oh." And that was all Steve was going to say about that. "Having a roommate is really about respecting the other person and their right to live in a clean and nondisruptive environment. That's the base of all the little rules and routines, so if you can remember that you'll be fine." Said the man whose house had gotten blown up regularly for years. Maybe not as often as Xavier's, but still.
"And always, always, always throw something at them when they forget to wash the dishes and leave them in the sink until things start growing and quiche comes to life on you," Deadpool added.
"Ideally," Steve said, shooting a look at Deadpool, "Everyone will do their dishes in a timely manner so that things don't start growing in the sink. But even if they do, you shouldn't throw things at them." Unless they were Clint. "That's rude."
Deadpool eyed him. "Maybe in crazy Avenger Land where you have a butler to take care of things."
"I washed my own dishes," Steve said, sounding mildly offended. It was part of why he'd been able to keep kitchen privileges for so long. "But that's neither here nor there. A good roommate should also be considerate of their roommate's sleep schedule, which may be very different from their own, and not play loud music or practice mixed martial arts while other people are trying to sleep."
"Whoa! Whoa. Let's not be Nazis here. Nazi bees and or ones with stupid pink masks on. We can't just tell them not to practice mixed martial arts just because someone is sleeping," Deadpool replied. "That's just cruel and unusual, man."
He took a step forward, looking at an audience that wasn't there, hand on his chest. "Because the American dream includes practicing mixed martial arts in the wee hours of the night, just as much as it does protection from religious persecution and the ability to speak one's mind without fear of the goverment going all nutso on you and sending crazy ass Dark Avengers out to kill you. Norman. Seriously? Seriously? What kinda crack were the editors smoking to let that one get through?"
Steve wasn't even touching that. "You may have noticed by now that Mr. Wilson has some issues," Steve said to the students. "Let's just pretend that didn't just happen."
"He's being kind," Deadpool added. "I'm crazy and we all know that. Now, we're going to have a few scenarios that happen in real life all the time and you are gonna pair off to come up with solutions to them that--" He sighed. "--don't involve braining them with a shoe."
"So, pair up," Steve said, "and then you can draw scenarios out of this bowl. Get to it."