fandomhigh | Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period

The students had ~~handwavily~~ been notified to meet in the Danger Shop this week. Upon entering, they would find their teachers standing among some dining tables. "Good morning, class," Steve said. "Today we're going to talk about table etiquette."

"Which is when you use napkins and all that Pretty Woman stuff. Though I doubt any of you are hookers with a heart of gold..." Although the chick who ran the flower shop was.

"Wade!" Steve said, sounding somewhat scandalized. Then he remembered who he was dealing with here and decided moving along would be the better part of valor. "You should always use napkins, of course, but proper dining etiquette is more complicated than that. It involves knowing how to properly set a table, as well as which utensils to use for which foods. It's kind of a pain," he admitted, "but it can help to smooth the way in a social situation."

"Or just confuse the crap outta ya and make you start to wonder if this was just a bourgeois plot to keep the man down," Deadpool added helpfully. "The tablecloth is there for a reason, right? Why waste a perfectly good napkin when you have that? And a shrimp fork? Really? Really?"

"The tablecloth is there for a reason, but to substitute for a napkin is not it," Steve said. "As far as place settings go, please refer to this diagram, which will help you understand what goes where and when to use each utensil. Utensils are arranged basically in the order they'll be used."

Deadpool rolled his eyes. "Blah blah blah boringcakes. How about we actually do something? Can we have 'em set the table and then yank the tablecloth off? It'll teach them poise."

Or how to clean up smashed china. One of those. "Yes, everyone pick a table, then set it for four either formally or informally," Steve said. "Then..." he gestured to his co-teacher to let him finish the assignment.

"Bill Murray that shiznat up!" Deadpool said cheerfully. "Work in groups of... say... two. That's a good, solid number. Not a lonely number at all. That would be one."

"What?" Steve asked him blankly. Then he realized giving Deadpool an opening was a bad idea and said, "It doesn't matter. Everyone pair up and get to work."

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"It is very different from my home," Raven said. "People have such strong feelings here, it was overwhelming at first. And life in Azarath was much simpler." She glanced down at her simple black dress. "For example, this is what I am used to wearing everyday. Joan says that I need to go shopping and wear more colors. I have never shopped before."

"Strong like... happy?" What? She's been accused of being ridiculously happy. Not in so many words but she understood well enough it wasn't appreciated.

Stupid boys.

Elle tried not to frown about that, she really did.

"Your dress is nice but with your skin color and amazing eyes, you would look beautiful in soft violets and dark purples. Blues, greens, and yellows would favor you as well." Too many people here have never shopped before. It was unreal. "Never. As is never ever? Omigod, Raven, you have to let me take you!"

Raven blinked. Had Elle just said her true name? No, she must be mishearing things; there was no way she would know. "Strong, like happiness," she confirmed. "And affection, but also anger and fear. Many of the students here feel very passionately.

"There are no stores on Azarath," she went on. "The people provide for each other at no cost. And we all dressed much like this." If she was allowed to be amused, she might have been so by the surprise and near-horror she sensed from Elle. "Perhaps you would like to join Joan and myself when she takes me shopping?"

No, no. Elle didn't say her true name, her mun did. First typo of the day? Apparently. "Happiness is a good feeling. Like positivity. My overall attitude is just that, not that I ever think about it. Except for today. I'm slacking slightly in the happy department."

At the chance to go shopping, however, she was instantly radiant. "Omigod yes! I'd love to go! I haven't been shopping now for nearly two weeks and I'm having withdrawls. I'm almost out of Happy!"

"What has made you unhappy?" Raven had to ask. "I can perhaps help ease your sorrow."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you," she said, smiling. "But I don't know what you can do, honestly. Can't change what other people say, or how they act, or what they do behind your back when you're not there to defend yourself or just listen while they talk about you. Totally not fair, right? I mean, why me? Just because I'm happy and want someone else to be happy I'm like what? Gossip?" Elle assumed much, yes. She was also obviously not fine. But she smiled.

Well, technically, Raven could change how people behaved, but she did not wish to mention that. "I am sorry," she said. "I do not understand how people can be so cruel sometimes." Elle seemed very nice, so she certainly did not approve of anyone treating her badly, much like whomever had hurt Chuck.

Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period - 7/13

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