screwyoumarvel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fandomhigh2009-07-12 10:49 pm
screwyoumarvel) wrote in fandomhigh2009-07-12 10:49 pm
Entry tags:
Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period - 7/13
The students had handwavily been notified to meet in the Danger Shop this week. Upon entering, they would find their teachers standing among some dining tables. "Good morning, class," Steve said. "Today we're going to talk about table etiquette."
"Which is when you use napkins and all that Pretty Woman stuff. Though I doubt any of you are hookers with a heart of gold..." Although the chick who ran the flower shop was.
"Wade!" Steve said, sounding somewhat scandalized. Then he remembered who he was dealing with here and decided moving along would be the better part of valor. "You should always use napkins, of course, but proper dining etiquette is more complicated than that. It involves knowing how to properly set a table, as well as which utensils to use for which foods. It's kind of a pain," he admitted, "but it can help to smooth the way in a social situation."
"Or just confuse the crap outta ya and make you start to wonder if this was just a bourgeois plot to keep the man down," Deadpool added helpfully. "The tablecloth is there for a reason, right? Why waste a perfectly good napkin when you have that? And a shrimp fork? Really? Really?"
"The tablecloth is there for a reason, but to substitute for a napkin is not it," Steve said. "As far as place settings go, please refer to this diagram, which will help you understand what goes where and when to use each utensil. Utensils are arranged basically in the order they'll be used."
Deadpool rolled his eyes. "Blah blah blah boringcakes. How about we actually do something? Can we have 'em set the table and then yank the tablecloth off? It'll teach them poise."
Or how to clean up smashed china. One of those. "Yes, everyone pick a table, then set it for four either formally or informally," Steve said. "Then..." he gestured to his co-teacher to let him finish the assignment.
"Bill Murray that shiznat up!" Deadpool said cheerfully. "Work in groups of... say... two. That's a good, solid number. Not a lonely number at all. That would be one."
"What?" Steve asked him blankly. Then he realized giving Deadpool an opening was a bad idea and said, "It doesn't matter. Everyone pair up and get to work."
"Which is when you use napkins and all that Pretty Woman stuff. Though I doubt any of you are hookers with a heart of gold..." Although the chick who ran the flower shop was.
"Wade!" Steve said, sounding somewhat scandalized. Then he remembered who he was dealing with here and decided moving along would be the better part of valor. "You should always use napkins, of course, but proper dining etiquette is more complicated than that. It involves knowing how to properly set a table, as well as which utensils to use for which foods. It's kind of a pain," he admitted, "but it can help to smooth the way in a social situation."
"Or just confuse the crap outta ya and make you start to wonder if this was just a bourgeois plot to keep the man down," Deadpool added helpfully. "The tablecloth is there for a reason, right? Why waste a perfectly good napkin when you have that? And a shrimp fork? Really? Really?"
"The tablecloth is there for a reason, but to substitute for a napkin is not it," Steve said. "As far as place settings go, please refer to this diagram, which will help you understand what goes where and when to use each utensil. Utensils are arranged basically in the order they'll be used."
Deadpool rolled his eyes. "Blah blah blah boringcakes. How about we actually do something? Can we have 'em set the table and then yank the tablecloth off? It'll teach them poise."
Or how to clean up smashed china. One of those. "Yes, everyone pick a table, then set it for four either formally or informally," Steve said. "Then..." he gestured to his co-teacher to let him finish the assignment.
"Bill Murray that shiznat up!" Deadpool said cheerfully. "Work in groups of... say... two. That's a good, solid number. Not a lonely number at all. That would be one."
"What?" Steve asked him blankly. Then he realized giving Deadpool an opening was a bad idea and said, "It doesn't matter. Everyone pair up and get to work."