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fandomhigh2009-07-06 12:21 am
suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-07-06 12:21 am
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How to be Awesome | Week 1 | Period 6 | Mon. 7/6
Barney was back. Teaching. It had to be a joke and yet it wasn't. He strode into the Danger Shop like he owned it, blond hair perfect, dark grey suit screaming, 'Why yes, this jacket did cost more than a year's tuition to this school!' With a click of a remote, the room transformed around the class to become a massive department store dressing area with a long covered rack, tables and chairs for students, and a podium for the teacher.
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life," Barney announced, smoothing his tie as he took his position at the podium. "Over the next several weeks, you will be challenged by the most LEGEN- wait for it and I sure hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is -DARY workshop to ever grace the halls of Fandom High. Should you value your Awesomeness and ever want to get laid regularly, heed my words, people.” Barney paused, looking pointedly at certain students who had obviously never suited up in their lives.
"The journey to Awesome starts with the ritualistic destruction of all things denim. No more will you wear your lemming-style jeans, your witty t-shirts, or your--" he shuddered visibly "--cargo pants. To be taken seriously you must and I repeat you WILL SUIT UP!" With that exclamation, Barney hit another button on his remote and the covering exploded off of the rack, dramatically uncovering expensive-looking suits in all shapes (yes, even female ones) and sizes.
Pleased with drama, Barney snapped his fingers to regain student attention at his podium. "These suits are yours to keep, and I expect you to suit up for every workshop this session. No exceptions! If you don’t wear a suit to class, you will earn a special seat in the hell that is Fandom detention. I promise you’ll be thanking me for this before the session is over."
"Now, why should you wear a suit outside of class, you ask? That’s simple, people. Any man--or woman-- serious about the art of consistent layage needs to comprehend the following truism: Chicks love suits. Why? Because men look hot in suits. See Example A,” Barney gestured to his own incredibly hot, suit-clad body. “Wear your suit on a date and your date will be awesome, guaranteed." Okay, not always, but he was working on building hope in these fools this week.
"Now lemmings, I want you to pick out a suit and put it on. There are trick suits on the suit rack. Your first challenge is to select a suit that will work for you without making anyone else go blind. Then, I want each of you to introduce yourself, tell us why you’re in this workshop, and give your level of experience with your preference of women or men." Barney paused and looked around the room. "What are you waiting for? SUIT UP!"
He waited a moment, watching the students before calling out, "Oh and you! Yes, you with the face. Too slow to move, join the grad in glasses as her assistant TA!" It was good to be the king. Even of a class like this.
[ Course Information | Roster ]
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life," Barney announced, smoothing his tie as he took his position at the podium. "Over the next several weeks, you will be challenged by the most LEGEN- wait for it and I sure hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is -DARY workshop to ever grace the halls of Fandom High. Should you value your Awesomeness and ever want to get laid regularly, heed my words, people.” Barney paused, looking pointedly at certain students who had obviously never suited up in their lives.
"The journey to Awesome starts with the ritualistic destruction of all things denim. No more will you wear your lemming-style jeans, your witty t-shirts, or your--" he shuddered visibly "--cargo pants. To be taken seriously you must and I repeat you WILL SUIT UP!" With that exclamation, Barney hit another button on his remote and the covering exploded off of the rack, dramatically uncovering expensive-looking suits in all shapes (yes, even female ones) and sizes.
Pleased with drama, Barney snapped his fingers to regain student attention at his podium. "These suits are yours to keep, and I expect you to suit up for every workshop this session. No exceptions! If you don’t wear a suit to class, you will earn a special seat in the hell that is Fandom detention. I promise you’ll be thanking me for this before the session is over."
"Now, why should you wear a suit outside of class, you ask? That’s simple, people. Any man--or woman-- serious about the art of consistent layage needs to comprehend the following truism: Chicks love suits. Why? Because men look hot in suits. See Example A,” Barney gestured to his own incredibly hot, suit-clad body. “Wear your suit on a date and your date will be awesome, guaranteed." Okay, not always, but he was working on building hope in these fools this week.
"Now lemmings, I want you to pick out a suit and put it on. There are trick suits on the suit rack. Your first challenge is to select a suit that will work for you without making anyone else go blind. Then, I want each of you to introduce yourself, tell us why you’re in this workshop, and give your level of experience with your preference of women or men." Barney paused and looked around the room. "What are you waiting for? SUIT UP!"
He waited a moment, watching the students before calling out, "Oh and you! Yes, you with the face. Too slow to move, join the grad in glasses as her assistant TA!" It was good to be the king. Even of a class like this.
[ Course Information | Roster ]
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