How to be Awesome | Week 1 | Period 6 | Mon. 7/6

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney was back. Teaching. It had to be a joke and yet it wasn't. He strode into the Danger Shop like he owned it, blond hair perfect, dark grey suit screaming, 'Why yes, this jacket did cost more than a year's tuition to this school!' With a click of a remote, the room transformed around the class to become a massive department store dressing area with a long covered rack, tables and chairs for students, and a podium for the teacher.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life," Barney announced, smoothing his tie as he took his position at the podium. "Over the next several weeks, you will be challenged by the most LEGEN- wait for it and I sure hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is -DARY workshop to ever grace the halls of Fandom High. Should you value your Awesomeness and ever want to get laid regularly, heed my words, people.” Barney paused, looking pointedly at certain students who had obviously never suited up in their lives.

"The journey to Awesome starts with the ritualistic destruction of all things denim. No more will you wear your lemming-style jeans, your witty t-shirts, or your--" he shuddered visibly "--cargo pants. To be taken seriously you must and I repeat you WILL SUIT UP!" With that exclamation, Barney hit another button on his remote and the covering exploded off of the rack, dramatically uncovering expensive-looking suits in all shapes (yes, even female ones) and sizes.

Pleased with drama, Barney snapped his fingers to regain student attention at his podium. "These suits are yours to keep, and I expect you to suit up for every workshop this session. No exceptions! If you don’t wear a suit to class, you will earn a special seat in the hell that is Fandom detention. I promise you’ll be thanking me for this before the session is over."

"Now, why should you wear a suit outside of class, you ask? That’s simple, people. Any man--or woman-- serious about the art of consistent layage needs to comprehend the following truism: Chicks love suits. Why? Because men look hot in suits. See Example A,” Barney gestured to his own incredibly hot, suit-clad body. “Wear your suit on a date and your date will be awesome, guaranteed." Okay, not always, but he was working on building hope in these fools this week.

"Now lemmings, I want you to pick out a suit and put it on. There are trick suits on the suit rack. Your first challenge is to select a suit that will work for you without making anyone else go blind. Then, I want each of you to introduce yourself, tell us why you’re in this workshop, and give your level of experience with your preference of women or men." Barney paused and looked around the room. "What are you waiting for? SUIT UP!"

He waited a moment, watching the students before calling out, "Oh and you! Yes, you with the face. Too slow to move, join the grad in glasses as her assistant TA!" It was good to be the king. Even of a class like this.

[ Course Information | Roster ]

Comments

Introductions [Awesome W1]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Again, tell us why you're in the workshop (and make it a good story if you didn't choose to be here), give your level of experience with your preferred sexual objects, and your name. Not that he'll learn it.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"I'm Chuck Bass. I signed up for the workshop because it looked like an easy A." Well it was true. "And I'm extremely successful with both men and women."

No need to hide the fact that he was awesome.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Welcome Chuck," Barney had approved of him from the moment he saw that suit in the audience. "I assure you, A's are as easy as showing up and taking one of the little geeks under your well-designed lapel."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[chic-harper.livejournal.com]

"My name is Harper Finkle, and I'm not really sure how I ended up in this workshop, but that's okay. My grandmother tells me all the time how awesome I am," she began. "And I like boys, though they don't really seem to like me that much. I'm not sure why."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"No." Barney stared and knowing it was going to be difficult to get through camo-girl's head. "Just...do you see that suit? That right there should answer all your questions."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

"I'm Yakko Warner, and I'm in this workshop because I signed up for it," Yakko said. "Nobody wants to hear about my level of experience because it would ruin way too many childhoods."

Yakko held a hand up to whisper to Barney. "But there's probably fanfiction on the internet about it. Beware Rule 34!"

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Call Barney insanely curious. He leaned down and whispered back, "What's Rule 34?"

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[longislandiceme]

"Bobby Drake, who signed up for this workshop. Um... I've been on a couple of dates with a girl." Yes, one girl. Who ended up running away screaming. It was not the smoothest of breakups.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"Don't let him fool you," Layla joked. "He's a real cool guy."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

Elena stood up, folding her arms behind herself. There was a time and a place for arrogance, and this was it. She was a Turk, dammit.

"Elena," she said firmly. "I didn't choose this class. I would have, had I known about it. My hobbies include shooting to kill, having sex with guys who don't call, and making this suit look good."

Reno would be proud.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[future_sandworm]

This wasn't funny. This was a complete waste of time.

I am Leto Atreides," he said. "And I'm here for reasons I now question myself." He crossed his arms. "My love life is of little business to anyone in this class, and the formal clothing from my homeworld is quite adequate for me."

"Also, I would like to hear a more thourough definition of the term 'awesome', as I fail to see the connection between what has been discussed and the topic of the class."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"My name is Layla Miller and I know stuff," she said introducing herself. "And while I haven't 'done the deed', I already know what I need to know."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Alex Karev and I signed up for this class because, although I am already awesome, I thought it'd be nice to help the less fortunate out with my vast wealth of knowledge."

His ego was perfect for this class.

"And my preference is girls and I've got plenty of experience with that gender, all of it successful."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

"I'm Effy," she said. Here because she was awesome. Did that really need saying? "And I've had plenty of success. With men." Aaaaand, gotten kicked out of a school for it. See? She was awesome.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[1moredaytodance.livejournal.com]

"Eva Rodriguez. I'm in this class because...I am. And I thoroughly appreciate the male population when they're not idiots or only thinking with one brain. Even then, I guess I can be a little lenient." She said simply.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[cutsthestrings.livejournal.com]

"Fiona Post," she offered, looking around the room, "and I... figured that I should be as 'awesome' as possible, given the choice" which was an out and out lie since she'd chosen another class "and I've, um, made out with a boy?"

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[youcantfollow.livejournal.com]

Just the idea of the question at hand had Griff praying his ears weren't on fire.

"Uh, I'm Griffin O'Conner. I signed up for this workshop because it was the last period of the day..." He trailed off, not feeling like sharing his experience.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"I am Prince Edward of Andalasia! Awesome is an awesome word! I learned of its meaning when I first arrived here. I would not mind learning how to be it, ah-hah!" he explained cheerfully. "I have a lovely girlfriend! Adora, Princess of Eternia!"

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[likethegun]

"I'm Sam Winchester, and I signed up for this class because Chuck is incapable of taking classes without me." What, it was as good a story as any. "I have a decent amount of experience with my boyfriend to whom I'm monogamously devoted."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[gudspellr-claud.livejournal.com]

"I'm Claudia Kishi and I've always been awesome," she said with a cheeky smile. "I'm an artist so I don't, like, limit myself? But right now I have a boyfriend."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[gameknowsgame.livejournal.com]

"Blair Waldorf," Blair said. "I'm here to help provide others in learning how to be something other than badly-dressed, useless, boring wastes of time."

She avoided the part about experience, since she had none.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[lovemykilt]

"I'm Priestly. And I figure summer is a time for relaxation, so I took the easiest, most entertaining sounding classes on the list." Priestly shrugged. "I like girls." He glanced at Claudia. "Especially my girlfriend. And, well, I'm not telling you how far I've gotten with her."

Awww, he thought he was being gentlemanly.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[inthereflexes.livejournal.com]

"I'm Jack Burton, and I'm good at what I do," he stated. He wasn't sure if this was the best or worst class ever, but he was certainly going to enjoy it. Naomi? What Naomi? Oh. Right. That Naomi.

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[likes-chicken.livejournal.com]

"I'm, uhhh, Hurley Reyes," He said. "I'm kinda in this class cause... who wouldn't want to be more awesome? And I'm, uhhh, well, I've sorta had a couple dates. I guess."

Re: Introductions [Awesome W1]

[carsexual]

"I'm Sam Witwicky, and I feel like I could use help with being more awesome," so as to be worthy of his hot girlfriend and hot car. "I have a girlfriend. She's in California, though. It's like a long-distance thing, you know, we text and stuff."