fandomhigh | How to be Awesome | Week 1 | Period 6

Barney was back. Teaching. It had to be a joke and yet it wasn't. He strode into the Danger Shop like he owned it, blond hair perfect, dark grey suit screaming, 'Why yes, this jacket did cost more than a year's tuition to this school!' With a click of a remote, the room transformed around the class to become a massive department store dressing area with a long covered rack, tables and chairs for students, and a podium for the teacher.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life," Barney announced, smoothing his tie as he took his position at the podium. "Over the next several weeks, you will be challenged by the most LEGEN- wait for it and I sure hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is -DARY workshop to ever grace the halls of Fandom High. Should you value your Awesomeness and ever want to get laid regularly, heed my words, people.” Barney paused, looking pointedly at certain students who had obviously never suited up in their lives.

"The journey to Awesome starts with the ritualistic destruction of all things denim. No more will you wear your lemming-style jeans, your witty t-shirts, or your--" he shuddered visibly "--cargo pants. To be taken seriously you must and I repeat you WILL SUIT UP!" With that exclamation, Barney hit another button on his remote and the covering exploded off of the rack, dramatically uncovering expensive-looking suits in all shapes (yes, even female ones) and sizes.

Pleased with drama, Barney snapped his fingers to regain student attention at his podium. "These suits are yours to keep, and I expect you to suit up for every workshop this session. No exceptions! If you don’t wear a suit to class, you will earn a special seat in the hell that is Fandom detention. I promise you’ll be thanking me for this before the session is over."

"Now, why should you wear a suit outside of class, you ask? That’s simple, people. Any man--or woman-- serious about the art of consistent layage needs to comprehend the following truism: Chicks love suits. Why? Because men look hot in suits. See Example A,” Barney gestured to his own incredibly hot, suit-clad body. “Wear your suit on a date and your date will be awesome, guaranteed." Okay, not always, but he was working on building hope in these fools this week.

"Now lemmings, I want you to pick out a suit and put it on. There are trick suits on the suit rack. Your first challenge is to select a suit that will work for you without making anyone else go blind. Then, I want each of you to introduce yourself, tell us why you’re in this workshop, and give your level of experience with your preference of women or men." Barney paused and looked around the room. "What are you waiting for? SUIT UP!"

He waited a moment, watching the students before calling out, "Oh and you! Yes, you with the face. Too slow to move, join the grad in glasses as her assistant TA!" It was good to be the king. Even of a class like this.

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"Didn't take you long to get back in a suit," Layla mused.

"Less than a week," Elena agreed. "It doesn't feel right without the holster, though."

"The class is mostly how to score with your dates though," Layla noted. "You won't need a gun for that."

"No, and I don't really need a weapon," Elena sighed. Martial arts were convenient that way. "But I feel exposed without it, like I have a target on my back advertising that I'm unarmed."

"You don't," Layla replied. "And you shouldn't need one when you're on school grounds anyway."

"'Shouldn't' isn't the same as 'won't,'" Elena noted, straightening her tie and smoothing her hair back.

"No weapons on campus," Layla smirked. "I thought Reno would have told you that."

"It didn't come up," Elena said, eying the other girl suspiciously. She would have to find out what she knew, and how she knew it. "And the suit still feels wrong without it."

"We could get you a squirt gun," Layla teased. "Put it in a holster."

"It lacks flair," Elena said. "You never did tell me, how it is that you know Reno."

"I don't," Layla said trying on the blazer of her suit. "Never met the guy."

"How you know of him, I meant," Elena corrected smoothly, trying not to be distracted from this point.

"I told you," she said buttoning the jacket and checking the fit. "I Layla Miller. I know stuff."

"That's hardly an answer," Elena said warily. She hesitated before adding, "If you really do know about the Turks, then you should also realize what I'm capable of, should I have reason to think you're a threat."

Fair warning, in case the girl had plans in that direction.

"I do," Layla said fussing with her sleeve. "However I don't even own a gun and I've never thrown a punch in my life. I'd hardly be a threat to a fully trained Turk, don't you think?"

"Threats come in different shapes and sizes," Elena said noncommittally. "The wrong information slipping out, that only requires a pair of lips."

She turned to face the girl, neither threatening nor imploring. "I just wish I knew your agenda."

"Oh that's easy," Layla said looking over her shoulder at Elena. "To save the world."

Elena relaxed, visibly, at that. "I happen to be on that side, myself, for once," she said. It was worth noting; the Turks weren't always on the side of the angels.

Unless saving the world meant she was another of those eco-terrorists. "You're not connected to a group calling itself AVALANCHE, are you?"

She snorted in amusement. "I'd rather not blow up the world to save it. I wouldn't have anything pretty to look at."

The snort cheered Elena's mood considerably. Anyone who rolled their eyes at AVALANCHE couldn't be all bad. Crazy fuckers.

"They certainly had the dramatic approach, didn't they?" she said. "What are you saving the world from?"

"Depends on the week," Layla shrugged. "Where I came from recently it was a totalitarian regime trying to oppress a race of people. Before that it was trying to save a girl who could save everyone."

"Saving the world gets to be a recurring thing, doesn't it?" Elena sighed. "The world is safe, and then six months later, something else wants to go wrong."

"It's a cycle," Layla sighed.

How to be Awesome | Week 1 | Period 6 | Mon. 7/6

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