Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #2 - Thursday, May 21st

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Miss Bennet was followed into class by a small trail of tiny Canadian moose. They were adorable and wobbly, and Miss Bennet had to resist the urge to cuddle them. That would not be terribly proper, she reminded herself.

"Today," she said, "I ask that you pay no attention to the delightful moose that have graced us with their presence, unless of course you have food on your person that might be shared with them. In that case, I will ask your assistance in providing our guests with an early lunch. I fear I did not prepare for moose, today.

"Instead, we are to speak of taboos. All cultures have them. In any society, there are certain things one Does Not Discuss. Sometimes there are conditions; one might discuss that topic with a confidante, but not in mixed company. Or one might refer to such things at an evening out, but not while sitting in the pews the next morning at church. These unwritten rules can be confusing to those who have no prior knowledge of the culture, and transgressing them will carry a heavy price."

"So. How is one to avoid breaking rules, when one has not been informed of them?" Miss Bennet smiled generously at her students. "I did say this would be practical etiquette. Today, we will assume that somehow, you have been placed into a society very different from your own, and are hoping to make a good impression -- or at least, enough of a good impression that you are not ostracized, or worse. Where do we begin?

"A good starting point is to avoid those things which are generally improper in most societies -- the specifics of bodily functions, for one, or the particulars of one's romantic encounters. Another is to avoid saying something unpleasant about others. The elder of the tribe may seem a bit dim to you, but he is possibly a much-respected wise man, and making a joke at his expense will earn you scorn.

"An interesting complication to this point is that, again, such matters can be highly cirumstantial. Let us say that your new friend himself made an unkind comment about the tribe elder. This does not mean that you are free to return his comment with one of your own. Familiarity allows for a great many indulgences, ones that are not extended to strangers. You are a guest in this culture; you have not earned the right to treat its members with fond irreverence."

"What will help is to watch the culture's euphemisms. For example, if everyone wears long sleeves and refers awkwardly to their 'arm joints' in hushed voices, then perhaps there is some taboo in that culture surrounding the elbow, and it would be unwise to use the word 'elbow' freely, or to bare your own arms. If everyone refers obliquely to 'acquiring nourishment later,' and takes food back to their own individual rooms quite secretively, then perhaps you should refrain from having lunch where others can observe you. A great deal can be learned from what isn't said.

"Therefore, today's activities. First, I will share a number of euphemisms from my own culture, and each of you may guess what the phrasing refers to, and what the subject in question is. Once that is discovered, we can theorize on what it means that those particular topics inspire indirect language. After that, you will share some of your own euphemisms, and attempt to discern the meaning behind one another's phrases. If your culture does not have any handy euphemisms, you may invent some, so long as the phrasing is somewhat logical. Otherwise the exercise becomes entirely unfair."

One of the moose was investigating Miss Bennet's feet, and she couldn't help laughing. "After that, I will be taking my small guests to lunch, lest they eat my shoes. Shall we begin?"

Not just yet, it would seem; first, there was a knock at the door.

Comments

Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Ping into this thread with your own euphemisms, real or invented. Tag into everyone else's to take a stab at guessing theirs. It's educational and fun!

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Miss Bennet had a few particularities that she might share, though she worried that the topic in question for one or two might be a touch ... vulgar.

Then again, such was the way with euphemisms. Therefore, she cleared her throat and began.

"She fell in with a rake, and now finds herself ruined. If her family will not have her, she will come upon the town."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[sonofmogh.livejournal.com]

"I believe this means that the woman in question had an accident with a Garden tool in a scandalous manner," Worf replied. "Her dishonor is in question and her family exile her from the house making her dependent on social services."

If Picard could here that he would have no doubt spewed his Grey Earl tea.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[future_sandworm]

That was... interesting. "Are garden tools often used in dishonourable ways where you are from?" Leto asked, hiding a smirk.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[glacial_queen]

Karla knew what a rake was, so could parse the first sentence, but 'coming upon the town' didn't make much sense. Did they mean work in a Red Moon House? And why would she be ruined in the first place?

Karla raised her hand. "Why would being pregnant ruin her? If she hates the father, she can simply deny him paternity at the Birthright Ceremony."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

"Some poor girl's been seduced, so her reputation's in tatters," Agnes answered. "I'm not really sure what the second bit means, but it probably involves her being gossiped about for the rest of her life."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

"A girl and a garden tool?" Yakko asked. He turned to where a camera would be if there were a camera around, blew a kiss at it, and said, "Good night everybody!"

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[i_vanquish_evil]

"Admittedly, your speech pattern is familiar, but I must say that I have not heard phrases such as this one. And I have little familiarity with euphemisms." He looks positively confused.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Another topic came quite easily to mind.

"He spent the evening dipping rather deep. By night's end, we feared he was half-sprung, if not outright foxed."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

Rose was pretty sure she this one.

"He got drunk?"

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

"And after getting so thoroughly soused, did he sing a rude song about hedgehogs?" Agnes asked with a smile.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

"I never expected the teacher of this class to have such a filthy mouth. Giving us impressionable youths images like this! You should be ashamed!" Yakko said. "But don't stop, because it's really funny."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Finally, she finished with:

"She has set her cap for him. If he does not watch out, he'll end in the parson's mousetrap."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[future_sandworm]

"The woman is trying to seduce him," Leto replied. He wasn't sure exactly what a parson was, but took the expression 'the parson's mousetrap' to mean something he definitely expected to need a euphemism here.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

"Is he going to end up married?" Rose asked curiously. She rather liked the picture of priests having mousetraps.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

"I sure hope this isn't the girl and rake from earlier," Agnes answered. "Because he's not likely to make an honest woman of her, no matter how much she tries."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[future_sandworm]

Leto thought for a moment.

"He has the face of someone who would be left in a corner at a Sietch orgy," he said, even if that was fairly obvious.

"In death his waters would contaminate the tribe."

"In this, he runs across the open bled in the daylight sun."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Miss Bennet considered the phrases. She wasn't going to get near the 'orgy' one, as that was hardly proper no matter how many euphemisms might be applied. The rest, however, were intriguing.

"Is 'water' a common metaphor for your culture?" she asked. "You mentioned a desert land. Water seems to represent one's essence."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

"You're certainly being insulting," Agnes answered, "even if it doesn't make much sense to me."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[glacial_queen]

Karla felt a little uncomfortable. All of the euphemisms she could think of were unpleasant.

"He's perfectly beardless, but he still needs to be shaved."

"She shattered her cystal chalice and is now walking through the Twisted Kingdom."

"There's a witch who's just asking to become a Harpy."

"Here's a place where witchblood blooms."

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[future_sandworm]

"What are harpies like in your world?" Leto has to ask, because if they were anything like those who had invaded Fandom that was clearly an insult.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[oops-mbad.livejournal.com]

"That first one makes no sense." Diana commented.

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Miss Bennet smiled gently, hoping to reassure the girl.

"Is there a physical chalice, or is that expression metaphorical?" she asked. "And 'beardless' sounds as though it implies innocence of some kind. Youth?"

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[finding-x-dream.livejournal.com]

"Oh, we've got quite a lot of euphemisms," Agnes said. "Mostly for... well, things involving... uh. Bodily functions. And bodily... bits. For example..."

Agnes took a deep breath, steeled her nerves, turned bright pink, and began her list. "Gazunder, earth closet, to make water, small clothes, posterior, et cetera."

She took another breath and turned even pinker.

"And... Well, is there anyone who DOESN'T know at least a dozen different words for a man's bait and tackle?"

Re: Activity - Euphemisms [ET-2]

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

"I believe I can guess at the general gist of those," Miss Bennet said, "as you mentioned they were ... concerning bodily functions. Some functions, such as coughing, require no euphemisms in most societies; the others are universally taboo, it would seem."

She was trying very, very hard not to address the matter of ... bait and tackle.