http://uptheziggurat.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
uptheziggurat.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2009-05-13 12:20 am
uptheziggurat.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-05-13 12:20 am
Entry tags:
Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13 - Period Five
Rimmer was waiting in the Danger Shop, back stiff and smile smug. The room was set up like the average classroom, with desks and two #2 pencils on each. A copy of the syllabus lay in the exact center of each one, printed out crisp and fresh this morning. If there was a typo (or a complete nervous breakdown) on the sheet, he hadn't noticed as he'd been busy making sure that everything was perfect for his first class.
As soon as he saw his students, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Regardless, he was determined to soldier on, to shape these miscreants into proper Space Corps recruits even if they weren't in the Space Corps.
"Welcome," he said with overblown magnanimity, marching across the room in front of the students, "to Seven Secrets of Success. All of you are here because you want to succeed. You're not willing to settle for... for what life hands you, no" and he turned sharply on his heel to stare at them, "you're looking for more. Up up up the ziggurat, as I always say. You're looking to make the world look up to you. You're looking to make people say 'there's the kind of man I want running my ship; there's a son that I can be proud of; there's a man I'd sleep with sans head injury!'."
He realized he might have gone just a bit far afield and thus took the opportunity to spin again and continue towards the other side of the room.
"So! We will be doing introductions, obviously, but to show you just how accomplished your instructor is, you'll be getting not one secret, but two:
"Getting Straight To Work, one of the most important things to remember if you'd like to succeed. And the other, well," he smirked with hidden knowledge, "you'll just have to see when we get there."
[ocd up]
As soon as he saw his students, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Regardless, he was determined to soldier on, to shape these miscreants into proper Space Corps recruits even if they weren't in the Space Corps.
"Welcome," he said with overblown magnanimity, marching across the room in front of the students, "to Seven Secrets of Success. All of you are here because you want to succeed. You're not willing to settle for... for what life hands you, no" and he turned sharply on his heel to stare at them, "you're looking for more. Up up up the ziggurat, as I always say. You're looking to make the world look up to you. You're looking to make people say 'there's the kind of man I want running my ship; there's a son that I can be proud of; there's a man I'd sleep with sans head injury!'."
He realized he might have gone just a bit far afield and thus took the opportunity to spin again and continue towards the other side of the room.
"So! We will be doing introductions, obviously, but to show you just how accomplished your instructor is, you'll be getting not one secret, but two:
"Getting Straight To Work, one of the most important things to remember if you'd like to succeed. And the other, well," he smirked with hidden knowledge, "you'll just have to see when we get there."
[ocd up]
Re: Introductions
"I asked for you name, not whatever imbeciles you spend time with call you. Name, sailor."
Re: Introductions
Re: Introductions
The nostrils... oh the nostrils.
"It stands for hologram, smeg-for-brains," he told him, "and the name is Rimmer. Not 'Nostrils McGee' or... 'Goalpost Head' or anything else. Rimmer. Mister Rimmer, if you please, or if that's too hard, Professor Rimmer."
Re: Introductions
Re: Introductions
"See that it stays that way, Rrrrrrreyes" he said, rolling the 'r' rather dramatically. One last look and he moved on.